Lone Star still sucks

Faced with cooking last night Whaleoil came to a decision. One I was soon to regret.
 
After our last outing to Lone Star in Rotorua we recieved a voucher for a "free" meal.
 
So there we were Mr & Mrs Whaleoil the two Whale calves plus little niece Whaleoil from the sisters pod off to dine at Lone Star Newmarket.
 
I was of course armed with my voucher and the letter of apology from the manager of Lone Star Rotorua.
 
This time were seated with some alacrity and orders were taken. Drinks arrived as did our loaf of brerad and garlic butter. So far so good, some food has arrived unlike last time.
 
And that is where the troubles started. After you have cut up the loaf one usually has little bread plates and knives, but not at Lone Star. When I politely asked where they were they seemed genuinely flumoxed as to what I was on about. Finally some bread plates were produced but no knives, so we were faced with buttering bread with steak knives, which given the melted state of the butter was like trying to push shit up-hill with a pointed stick.
 
Now to the mains. They arrived quickly enough and as soon as I tasted mine I knew why. It was colder than your love for a whore when you've cum, and that is pretty damn chilly.
 
Now I like my Meat dead, throat cut, lightly charred and served still steaming on the plate. And I am fussy. if I order my Steak "Blue " and the waiter/ess looks dumb-founded then I quickly change my order. There is nothing like a fucked up steak to make your night go from average to worse in a flash.
 
My Steak was "Blue" alright, thats because it was still fucking frozen and shivering from the chiller. The mash under it was lumpy and tasteless and the jus was not at all as described it was probably maggi sauce in a cup ladelled onto the plate.
 
Mrs Whaeloil ordered Rost pork with crackling and her meal was as cold as Elvis and he dead the poor sod. The crackling…didn't, crackle that is. It resembled limp soggy strips of flesh slightly cooked to resemble prok crackiling. The Roast potatoes were hard in the middle and as warm as the meat which wasn't. To top it all off it was served with a massive dollop of cole-fucking-slaw. I mean like KFC coleslaw not some hoity-toity version, fucking bog standard coleslaw like you would expect at a BBQ in Henderson. 
 
Both the Whaleoil children also turned up their nose at their less than optimum tasting meals. The daughter proclaimed that the Ribs sucked. "Dads are much better" she intoned and damn right she is. The son had mini chicken drumstick which "tasted funny".
 
They offered the kids free desserts but we said no. Then I went to pay. There were heaps of people waiting to get in at this stage so I loudly told all who would listen what a suckful meal it was. When asked if I enjoyed my food, I enquired if it was actually food that was served. 
 
As wee walked down the road to the car the kids were chanting Lone Star Sucks, Lone Star sucks at the top of their lungs. And you know what, they were right Lone Star does suck.
 
So all in all a dismal disappointment. I have had better slop at Dennys and Cobb & Co and half the price.
 
Whaleoils reccommendation is don't ever, ever, eat at this franchise anywhere, they serve slop if you get it at all. 
 
They get one star because we actually got "food" to the table this time. 

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story.  And when he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

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