Helen Clark – Candidate CV

Name: Helen Davis Clark

Marital Status: Married (well sort of)

Date of Birth: February 26, 1950 Hamilton, New Zealand

Qualifications for Role as Secretary-General United Nations

  • Defamation. 2000
  • Prima facie case of forgery found, 2000
  • Media manipulation resulting in dismissal of Police Commissioner. 2000
  • Speeding through countryside like an African Dictator, 2005
  • Mis-appropriating Parliamentary funds for re-election purposes, 1999,2002,2005
  • Covering up Ministers indiscretions and wrongdoing with ineffectual inquiries that always "exonerate" the parties concerned.

I believe that these qualifications must surely place me at the top of the queue to replace Dear Kofi, who was once referred to, appallingly, I might add, as a "Cheeky Darky"

Love Helen Clark

Prime Minister of the Peoples Republic of Clarkistan, currently residing in Helengrad.


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