Trademe has a solution for everything

A case in point is the current dilemma of Burton the legless dick head.

Now most would agree that the pending cost of keeping this cretin incarcerated is beyond the pale. Therefore as a public service I searched Trademe for some solutions to the problem.

Here they are and the approximate costs;

Wooden Stool – currently a $1NR, some careful bidding should pick this up for a song. (I’ll cut the legs to different lengths so it wobbles for free)
Hemp Rope – 65m for $100, we could use this for several cells and thereby save even more.
Eye Bolt – Enough here for several cells to use up that long bit of rope. Starting bid is $60 but in the interests of time we can buy now for $150.
Book of knots –  A bargain at $12.95
Music – You need some mood music for "hanging about", especially on the back of hotel doors. A steal at $11.

So there you have it, the solution for all of the Burton problems for under $300. A price worth paying.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

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