What do you get from a couple of hookers for $3.4m?

I know it is a toughie, but the question needs to be asked after an ASB Bank manager spent $3.4 million of the $18 million he nicked on a couple hookers. That is a lot of rooting, even Mangrove and Tigerpig would be hard pressed to manage that together.

But what exactly would you get for that? If it was Lisa Lewis it would be 2833.33 roots!!! That is a root a day for 7 and three quarter years!!! If they were alley girl slappers, well then you’d be fucked for life.

The ultimate Harem

Well I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t limit my ambitions, I’d want more. Two would simply not be enough. Surely it would have been more cost effective to buy a harem.

Sure you might need to economise in various spots, and import some cheap offshore labour but $3.4m would definitely permit a decent sort of a harem.

A couple of Flippers for general housework and of course rostered rooting, a few Thai girls for their wonderful massage and rostered rooting, a couple of Eastern Europeans for kicks to the balls and other rough stuff, some lovely Indian women and a couple of slappers from the Waikato. Flag the whining poms, or Aussie scrubbers.

You could even build yourself a fornicatorium to enjoy your harem in. That would definitely be much better value.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

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