Where in the world was Charlie Shovel on the Weekend?

Charlie Shovel , Gladys, Charles ChauvelOn Sunday we had the bizarre story of Charlie Shovel abusing some kids in an Elton John style temper tantrum. Since then he has smeared, spun and lied about what actually went on. On Tuesday night he was on Closeup and it was intimated that he had enjoyed a relaxing weekend in Auckland and then it was ruined by allegedly noisy children. Presumably the kids must have been so loud that they drowned out the sound of the engines.

It has been mentioned that the flight was just 45mins long.  Anyone could have handled that trip even with noisy kids, anyone but Charlie Shovel. So why did he react that way? It seems so, well…petty.

But wait, perhaps there was a big assumption and a lie by omission by Charlie Shovel in his interview with Mark “Walrus” Sainsbury.  Just after Walrus did the intro summarising the story they cut to the he said shesaid part of the programme. The repeater said “After a weekend of relaxation, It was homeward bound, but relaxation it was anything but”. Nice start, but it still doesn’t explain why Charlie Shovel threw a tanty. Supposedly he had spent the weekend relaxing.

But what if he was somewhere else other than Auckland having his relaxing weekend? That would mean his flight to Wellington was the last leg of his journey that he would have spent pretty much ll day travelling with the closest destination for a relaxing holiday being three hours away. Arrive at Airport  two hours before checking, sit in cramped Koru Club (no not Carter), board flight, sit still albeit probably in Business Class, arrive in New Zealand, immigration, bags, customs and out, then a cab to the domestic terminal, check in and a waddle down to the exceedingly cramped Koru Club (again not Carter) to wait for the flight to Wellington so far he would have been on the go for at least 8 hours, travelling, time differences etc. Then the flight in question. I actually feel sorry for Charlie Shovel now. Having travelled extensively myself, I loathe airports, all the fuss and bother associated with international air travel in the distance. You almost become catatonic doing the routine, then you are rudely, you think, shaken out of your fairy wonderland and lash out. I can certainly understand that.

Now that is a interesting hypothesis, and one which will eventually reveal itself via the release of MPs travel expenses. A short time ago the Whaleoil tipline buzzed and a member of the Whaleoil Army informed me and swore and declared  that s/he saw a rotund mincing (how does that work?) figure looking suspiciously like Charlie Shovel over the weekend in Brisbane – is it true Charlie Shovel was in Australia and if so did he pay for that trip himself? Being a Labour trougher I sincerely doubt he paid for the airfares, the taxis or the accomodation himself. All easily buried in the travel section of his expenses.

It also explains why Charlie Shovel was so irritable as he hadn’t caught a 45 min flight, but it was the last leg of his journey home. That would explain everything, except of course who paid for it.

Of course I could be wrong, it has happened once before. But wouldn’t it be good if Charlie cleared this up before the weekend?


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.

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