Cops and Robbers

Crimestoppers NZTonight driving home I had an interesting interaction with local hoodlums and the Police.

As I was turning right into Reagan Road from Great South Road I noticed on my right were two cars in a towing configuration. It was easy to spot them but not apparently for Mr. Moron in front of me in the left lane turning right as well. He decided that he would merge like a zip, but aggressively between the towing car and the towed car. This wasn’t going to be successful anyway he tried it, aggressive or not. The towee saw what was happening and alerted Mr. Moron the only way possible with a short peep on his horn.

Well that just set Mr Moron off. His arm changed from hanging down along side the door to reaching inside for a steel bar and then brandishing it outside the car and waving it at the towee as he moved off down the road in front of him. Hos driving went from aggressive to down right dangerous as he tried to intimidate with the vehicle and threaten with the iron bar. They talk about being distracted by cellphones, I reckon Steven Joyce should look at banning iron bars from cars too.

It was at this point that  I feared that the towee, who had a body like a half sucked throatie was going to be smashed all to hell by Mr. Moron and his thug mate who was making fists at the towee. There was very little the towee could have done about all this too I might add.

Anyway, thinking and all in street brawl was about to erupt if these guys stopped I dialed *555. By this time all of us has proceeded down Reagan Road and were now in Preston Road, Otara. This is a serious hard hat area. I mean serious, and about to get more serious.

The Police answered promptly and after explaining what was happening and getting the rego of Mr. Moron asked me to stay on the line and follow and let them know what was happening until they could get someone there.

The towee and tower finally decided to pull over, actually in the safest place along Preston Road there is and as soon as was practicalbe. I certainly can’t fault their driving in any way. They were observant and courteous in their towing manner. It was only the f*ckwitted-ness of Mr. moron that was causing any angst.

mr. Moron pulled to a stop beside the towee and threatened him again with his burly arms brandishing the steel bar and then roared off down Preston Road nearly bowling a pedestrian on a crossing. Now walking across Preston Road is dangerous at the best of times but walking across on a pedestrian crossing is just making it easier for people like Mr. Moron. I informed the *555 people of progress.

Mr. Moron proceeded up Preston Road until he turned left onto East Tamaki Road, Otara it is about now he realised I was following him and he started brandishing the steel bar at me. I thought discretion was the better part of valour and informed Police operations that as he turned off onto Hills Road that I was not going to follow him. If Preston Road is hard hat then Hills Road is Pike River.

At this time Vodafone let the team down and the call dropped. 2 minutes later though *555 rang me back for two reasons. To see if I was alright and to advise that they were about to apprehend Mr. Moron and could I attend to give a statement. Int he time it took for me to turn around on East Tamaki Road and drive to the end of Hills Road was less than 5 minutes. In that time no less than 5 police cars, two plain clothes had arrived and captured Mr. Moron who was sitting on his driveway looking very circumspect.

I spoke to a constable and gave my statement then another police officer arrived and asked me to identify the steel bar that he now had in his hand.

This whole sequence occurred in less time than it has taken me to type it. From the moment I rang *555 till the time they nailed Mr. Moron was less than 5 minutes from beginning to end. To say that I am impressed with  service the and diligence of the officer involved including the *555 operators, I dealt with two of them, who seamlessly handed the calls across between them, would be an extreme understatement.

Who ever was the genius who invented the *555 system they should be given an OBE or something because the system works brilliantly. If I was Judith Collins I would seriously look at ditching the rooted 111 system and expand the *555 system. I was genuinely surprised at how quickly the Police reacted to this developing situation. If it had come to fisticuffs and a bludgeoning then I’m sure that even though the towee would have got a beating it would have been short lived due to the prompt actions of the Police involved.  Well done Police and *555.

Meanwhile Mr. Moron was arrested as I understand it. Not sure what he was charged with but he was arrested at the very least for being a cock and a silly bastard.


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

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