Rudman attacks Loosehead Lenny

Well knock me down woith a feather, Brian “Where’s my theatre?” Rudman has attacked Len Brown and his bullshit list of 52 “projects”.

When George VI ascended the throne, his living nightmare was an awful stammer.

Mayor Len Brown’s curse is self-inflicted – a rash promise before his coronation last November to within 100 days unveil 100 projects he would complete.

“We will see things really fly,” he promised.

With less than 20 days to go, Mayor Len’s immediate problem is not so much getting things airborne, it’s struggling to come up with bright ideas to launch.

This week, he and his retinue managed to scrape together a list of just 52. And many of those belonged in the “got up,” “brushed my teeth” category.

Claiming credit for setting up various advisory panels required by law is rather cringe-making.

So is “recommending the budget”, “monthly town hall meetings”, “regular engagement with local boards” and “spatial plan initiative”, all nuts-and-bolts functions that were going to happen regardless.

Anyone would think dear Brian had been reading The Whale. You know things are bad though when even clothe cap pinkos like Rudman, Bomber and Selwyn Manning can see that the list is just a bunch of slogans and Len Brown isn’t “the man” who can save Auckland.

Many of the rest have an air of desperation about them.

What, for instance, is he “saving the Suffrage memorial” from?

While it’s great to see him in favour of the Khartoum Place monument staying put, the fact is there’s no plan before councillors – or any money set aside – to have it moved.

The recently opened Orakei Basin walkway, No 25 on his “done” list, has been in progress for at least three years, and a contract for No 17, “integrated public transport ticketing”, was signed in December 2009.

Of course he’s not the first politician to bathe in the glory of tasks initiated by his predecessors. But few are quite as bare-faced as this.

With 48 to go and desperation setting in, what next? No 53: Sun Rises …

Heh! He is channelling the Whale.

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