Top Ten Reasons why Trevor Mallard should Lead Labour

The Penguin has mischievously thrown Trevor Mallard’s name into the ring for Labour’s soon to be entirely vacant leadership. We support such a move with a Top 10 reasons Trevor Mallard is the best candidate for the job:

10. Smacked up Tau Henare. Who doesn’t want to do that?
9. Can outrun Parekura Horomia and Shane Jones.
8. Deals with gossip columnists.
7. Dislikes everyone equally.
6. Knows what to do with a bottle of Heineken.
5. Will prove contrast to “smile and wave”.
4. Short press conferences.
3. World’s first blogging potential Prime Minister.
2. Who can say no to a man in a wheelchair?
1. Actually knows the offside rule.


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  • thecelestialgardener

    Something very bad has happened to Mallard. On TV last night he looked thin, pale, unshaven and washed out. Does he have AIDS?