What does he expect after bottling mining in the National Parks?

Captain Panic Pants probably has brown pants today. Some of the unwashed masses have gone against the PM and are threatening our economic growth.

Prime Minister John Key is not ruling out using the navy or air force to ensure multi million dollar oil exploration work off the East Coast continues.

Mr Key today hit out at groups protesting against exploration by oil giant Petrobas by saying the company should be able to carry out work it was legally entitled to do.

The Brazilian oil company has been granted a five year licence to carry out seismic exploration work in the Raukumara Basin, off the East Coast.

A few days into a 60 day programme they have been subjected to Greenpeace protests.

Why? Probably because Captain Panic Pants totally bottled the sell job on the mining in national parks. Instead of getting out and telling people why it was a good idea he sat back and let the looney left, unpleasant hairy legged sheilas with BO, actresses on the state payroll and other malcontents dominate the news cycle until National stopped trying to mine the National Parks.

If the PM wants to extract minerals for New Zealands economic benefit he needs to get a spin weasel that doesn’t panic when confronted with opposition, and plans how to sell policies that have been planned for years many months in advance.

I’m not sure how accurate the news reports are though when you see inane repeating such as this:

An Orion helicopter had also been seen flying over the area, Key said it was likely observing the situation but he did not know about its presence.

They do correct it later in the article but I mean really, it is n’t like there is a plethora of NZ Air Force aircraft to confuse the repeaters. For the record it would have been a Lockheed P3 Orion.



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  • middleagedwhiteguy

    Personally I would have more respect for Greenpeace’s position if they went protesting oil exploration in rowboats.

  • roger

    hone key and deals, any deals, um fingers in pies

  • whalewatcher

    Well, at least someone vaguely associated with National is actually still wearing pants,
    I mean, Darren Hughes certainly wasn’t, the Labour Lesbos aren’t, and Goff – well I never seen him below the waste (Thank The Lord) but they wouldn’t be manly pants now, would they?.. Probably leather ones that mix the bikie thing with darker Labour fetishes

    I think I’ll move to the West Coast and vote O’Connor. I think his pants are real

    As for Chauvel and the remaining PC (Poo Channel) brigade, their pants are probably more like Mr Belvedere’s chaps in that bad Hollywood movie.

  • steve

    Small point whalewatcher , it is ‘waist’ not ‘waste’ Then again I may have misunderstood

    • whalewatcher

      a true Freudian slip, steve – well-spotted!

  • reid

    As a demonstration of commitment perhaps Key should announce they’re going to be using explosives to blast the top of the Pike River seam and start strip-mining it, right after with govt funding they send in enough robots that don’t keep breaking down to get the bodies out.

    He could announce China will be funding the entire operation and will be paying NZ for the high-grade coking coal it extracts.

    Seriously, this is only one of the arenas in which the same dilemma will appear for them. Key and all his advisors fundamentally miscalculated frankly completely misread the mood of the country last election. They could have announced far more profound changes than they did and still got the results they did. They also failed to see the GFC coming and what that was going to do to their policy platforms and the worst outgrowth of that is that its opened up the “tax-cuts for the rich” meme which wasn’t a necessary vulnerability to expose oneself to, had one the least foresight. I saw it coming, way before the election. Why or why, didn’t they.

    Good to see Key finally hardening up, spending a little of his political capital. Too late, frankly, but the first positive blip on this particular trend graph for awhile, albeit a blip that is almost imperceptible in its timidity.

    Key, you aren’t dumb mate, but your advisors don’t know shit.

    This has happened cause the PM is in a bubble which isolates one and it’s only the campaign trail that re-connects. Once Key get’s out there, he’ll know what’s he’s been doing wrong, but by then, it will be too late, cause the policy is already set in stone.

  • reid


    Key, you aren’t dumb mate, but your political advi­sors don’t know shit.

  • whafe

    Key’s political advisers obviously didn’t play any strategy games growing up, because if they have not seen the myriad of opportunities to go hard and slaughter and get this ship headed in the right direction, then we are deeper in the steamy brown stuff than perhaps we realise…

    • reid

      Well said whafe.

      We need a MacArthur wrapped in a Kennedy inside a Churchill.

      When the fuck are they going to wake up to the frickin obvious that has been extraordinarily apparent for a very long time indeed?

  • mrgradgrind

    What is the point of protesting a seismic survey, it is just as likely tell Petrobas that there is nothing down there and they are wasting time and money if they continue.

    It will validate the protesters consistency if they protest, on the water, the 3D seismic survey that OMV have just announced for Foveaux Straight.

    If we are lucky a howling Westerly will come racing around Pyseguer Point and the Greenpeace protesters will never be seen again.

    My cynical mind when I saw the protesters on TV tonight said “Greenpeace on another fund raising drive then?’

    • reid

      it is just as likely tell Petrobas that there is noth­ing down there and they are wast­ing time and money if they continue

      I think you’re quite wrong mr. I have no data to back it up but my overall instinct is I think this country has huge offshore mineral reserves of all kinds and in many places. I hold to this whether or not this particular survey expedition finds anything and remember just cause they don’t announce something don’t mean it didn’t happen.

      Who knows. But let’s get it done.

      Is there an especially unpleasant jellyfish their sonic equipment could force to the surface just as the lefties were yet again obstructing the next reading? That would be a shame wouldn’t it.

  • jimbob

    I recall it was Brownlee that stuffed the mining issue up, went off on his own, tried to tell everyone they were gonig to mine everything and the electorate saw red. Game over.

    • jimbob, ‘the electorate’ did not see red. A few smelly eco-mentalist anarcho-communists (whose only colour is red) and a couple of unemployed actresses saw red, took a stroll down Queen Street and Quisling Key pissed his pants like the scared little school-girl he is. Just like he will do this time, if the local tribe don’t get sufficient koha to alleviate the desecration of ‘their’ waters and the apartheid party pressures him into breaking the contract with Petrobras.