WASTE. OF. SPACE.

Hard to know whether this press release is satire or not but it adds weight to Cactus Kate’s comments that she is”delighted” to see Heather Roy go. I mean really!

ACT New Zealand is delighted to be counted among the opposition parties calling for healthy eating policies following the release of a report showing New Zealand has one of the highest rates of diabetes among developed countries, says the party’s Forbidden Foods Spokeswomanperson, Heather Roy.

An international team of researchers, working with the World Health Organisation, has found that New Zealand is among the top five nations where blood glucose levels indicate diabetes.

Labour leader Phil Goff says the findings vindicate Labour’s call to remove GST from fresh fruit and vegetables.

The Greens’ Spokesperson on the Prohibition of Everything, Sue Kedgley, says that doesn’t go far enough. She wants a ban on the ingestion of any form of animal protein, and a law to make veganism compulsory.

“ACT supports all of the above,” says Ms Roy, over a breakfast of tofu and spirulina. “But none of it addresses causes instead of symptoms. The real problem lies with eating, period. There’s just too much eating going on. Studies have shown conclusively that the vast majority of participants who developed diabetes had been eating for years. Personally I put it down to all those free lunches that people had before Roger’s reforms of the 80s … hatched – shame on him – over fish and chips.

“Yes, even I find it difficult to resist culinary temptation,” Ms Roy sighs, lasciviously eyeing a side-dish of bean sprouts. “But we must bite the bullet (and very little else). Another recent study showed that diabetes can be reversed on a diet of 600 calories a day. While such a regime may fall short of the ideal, no-calorie diet, a law banning the consumption of more than 600 calories should be the minimum objective of all parties’ healthy eating policies.

“Failure to pass such a law will only encourage stroppy individualists in their perverse and anti-social belief that what they eat is up to them,” Ms Roy concludes.

ENDS

Nice to see Heather working hard, focussing on the really important issues that are core to ACT now there is no coups left to plot. This is what happens when you hire Lindsay Perigo as a press secretary. If ACT wants satire and smarmy writing then why don’t they just hire DimPost, at least it will be funny. Lindsay Perigo is ACTs answer to Bomber Bradbury.


Do you want:

  • Ad-free access?
  • Access to our very popular daily crossword?
  • Access to Incite Politics magazine articles?
  • Access to Podcasts?
  • Access to Political Polls?

Our subscribers’ financial support is the reason why we have been able to offer our latest service; Audio blogs. 

Click Here  to support us and watch the number of services grow.

As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story.  And when he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet.   Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet, and as a result he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist that takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him.  But you can’t ignore him.

53%