Another "One"

You are a highly successful lawyer who is able to look any lawyer in parliament in the eye and mention that you are a not a third rate provincial conveyancing lawyer like the soon to be former and forgotten member for Rangitikei. While not quite a captain of industry you were on the board of some pretty large organisations, including Meridian Energy which is a bit unfortunate as every time you say power company dividends should be used to reduce power costs for every day New Zealanders a very nasty right wing blogger points out you are a hypocrite.

So obviously bursting with talent you have a wikipage that has at least twice if not three times the information an MP entering parliament in the 2005 cycle would have, and you have never been one to hold back on showing off this talent. This got you into some slight trouble and H2 was dispatched to give you a jolly good spanking for self promoting before H1 got the chance to tell the media it was all her doing.

All that is in the distant past and you are currently fretting that you are wasting your life on the back benchers, and despite being a likely winner of the Ohariu seat when the dreadful tory candidates split the vote, you really want to become the “Hon.” so you are at least as good as the previously mentioned third rate conveyancing lawyer.

So you are looking at the polls wondering “Will Goff ever get me into cabinet?” which is followed by the rather frightening thought “if we get flogged in 2011 will that mean we can’t win in 2014 so I have to wait until 2017 to become a minister? After all there will be a lot more competent people coming through the Labour ranks in the next two cycles and one of them could well get the jump on you and take some plum portfolios from you.

This makes you start wondering if 2011 is going to like 2002 was for Mr 21% and National and you will have to wait an extra three years to become a minister and wouldn’t you be better off looking at a new leader now?

So you become a “one”. The vital number in replacing a leader that is leading your career into stagnation.


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  • sthnjeff

    Brilliant…Pure Gold

  • Champagne Charlie will follow the money; nothing surer. And Phil isn’t the money man!

  • whalewatcher

    Chauvel is a prat
    He is a classic Wellington trougher with his snout in many public troughs, directorships, etc
    It’s not just the snout he likes to stick in muck, either
    He ran away from boarding school twice in the 80s, the second time after 3 or 4 days. You wont find that on his wiki page, and if you add it it’s gone again in 60 seconds
    He curses tax-payer’s children on flights, then lies about the origin of the taxpayer-funded trip he was on – wasn’t it Sydney mardi gras, not Auckland?

    Anyway, not a leader, and not someone you want in power – he is one of those dangerous ones who wants power for its own sake. He has no real care in the interests of New Zealanders, let alone working class ones

    He is of course Charles Chauvel

  • giblet

    He’s the male version of Judith Tizard, in all respects.