I know! I'll use social media to make a point

The crippled campaign manager has had another SMOG…well not yet, but he will after I have finished with him.

Suggestions in the comments. If you want to make your own you can download a blank version here.

Whaleoil will Kick Mallard's crippled arse


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  • SMOG alert!

  • “Here’s our list of donations as at 22nd July”

  • thor42

    “Phil Goof is a numpty.”
    “The other side has Jacinda Adern in the nude.”
    “The other side has Nikki Kaye in the nude.”
    “Vote Labour, or I’ll show you Helen Clark in the nude.”
    “This is Labour’s economic “policy”. “

  • “These are the details for the Capital Gains Tax; see, I told you they’d be as boring as I am!”

  • spiker

    Can you spare some change for a cripple?

  • adolffiinkensein

    Brother, can you spare me a crime?

  • illalwaysrememberportugal

    My colour-blind mother dressed me this morning.

  • zork

    My tie points to my soft cock!

  • titanuranus

    The Ducktard is Mr Bean?

  • Doc

    I’m not crippled, I’m just carrying Helens love child.

  • Doc

    If only my dick was as big as my nose.

  • stroker08

    I wish my cock hung as low as my tie.

  • oldlogger

    Do I still look like a school teacher?

  • cadwallader

    “I am the expert panel.”

    “Whale Oil will kick my crippled brain!”

    ” On ya bike Goof!”

  • cactuskate1

    “Fuck you Whaleoil I’m going to steal your underpants”

    “Helen please text”

    “Not talking. Details are boring”

    “do your own fucking numbers Cunliffe”

  • Pingback: Caption Contest | Kiwiblog()

  • toby

    When people say they don’t support youth rates, they’re really saying that they’re worried that a young, inexperienced, new entrant to the workforce is going to take their job. Which is a paranoid, irrational fear… but there you go.

  • ltchop

    Toby darling – how stupid is it to promote a policy where two people doing the same job are paid different rates based solely on their age ? If you are arguing for a lesser rate while training on the job where the trainee is generating less income then that might be an argument but basing it on age is just silly. The problem is not that we pay people to much – it is that we have businesses that are so poorly run they cannot pay the staff they have enough !

    • toby

      If there’s an argument here that is stupid, it is clearly yours. Labour is proposing that the minimum rage is raised even higher and you think that it’s the problem of the businesses being so poorly run that they can’t pay people higher wages? That is utterly stupid.
      I suppose you can’t remember back to your first after school job. But try this: next time you are standing in line at the supermarket and fuming that not enough cashiers are open, just remember that it’s because the supermarkets have to pay inexperienced, teenaged, new entrants to the work force the same as an adult. I suppose your natural lefty comeback will be that the supermarkets are rich bastards rolling in cash, who could pay kids a whole lot more but just don’t because they are rich and evil.
      The reality is that for your average 16 year old, a job after school is paid work experience. If you stick with the job then by the time you hit 18, you’ll likely have enough experience that you’ll not only be worth an adult wage, but will be favoured by the company for promotion. Pay youths the same as an adult wage and you get the reverse: no incentive for either the youth workers or the employers to become a useful part of that company.

      • ltchop

        Toby one should not jump to conclusions about my political leanings – my comment is based on experience – in the course of each year I work with hundred of small and medium size businesses, so have a bit of an insight into employment patterns. You might have have recognised that we are in a bit of recession. During recessions it is the low paid jobs that go first. It would not matter how low paid they were – the busiess are gear such that one blip and they are gone. The second problem is that many of the business entry level jobs have gone as those businesses to have either gone under or been shipped off shore. Paying people less money is not the answer – we have to build an economy and businesses that can withstand tough times. We need a long term strategy for this – look at what the ice House is now producing – it is training the business managers and owners of tomorrow and concentrating on picking winning businesses that will grow and sustain for many years to come. Short term thinking along with the idea we should pay China styled wages (quote Bill English) is what is killing this country. Upskill our young show them there is a future for them – look at what they are doing in places like Otorahanga – council and business working together to ensure there is no youth unemployment – and they don’t need youth rates to do it !

  • gazzaw

    Spare a buck for an out of work asparagus picker.

  • It is cause and effect. You need a carrot to encourage employers to take on young people because the majority do NOT have the same experience as adults. Young people NEED experience if they are to get ahead, it is a win win situation. If the pay is the same employers will pick the best person for the job not the cheapest. Since the youth rate was abolished guess what happened? Youth unemployment soared! Cause and effect.

    It is just like the bloody Labour meddling that caused my intellectually handicapped brother and every other intellectually handicapped person in NZ to lose their jobs.
    Yes it sounds great to insist that they are paid the same as a non disabled person. Reality is that they need some one to supervise them in order for them to be able to have the satisfaction of working for a living. So guess what happened? Labour’s meddling priced them out of the work force which was a huge source of self esteem and pride for them.

    Why don’t you tell my teenage son how lucky he is to be entitled to be paid the same as an adult while at the same time explaining why no employer will hire him!

    • toby

      spanishbride, your last paragraph reminds me of my early days seeking work. It’s the old catch-22: you need experience to get a job, but with no job on offer there’s no way of getting experience. At least if a supermarket has the financial incentive to hire a teenager then that employee may work their way up to… say… 2IC of the dry goods aisle. It’s not much on the CV, but it’s better than a blank page.