Another "One"

Clare Curran is OneYou are a highly talented political communications expert who took an axe to deadwood at the last campaign. You now hold a safe seat for life in the Peoples Republic of Dunedin. This caused some comment as by rights no one from the grey dank oppressive cesspit that is the PRD or a female member of the modern Labour party should be quite as chic as you.

Being a communications specialist you have some firm ideas on how Labour should be communicating its message. You realise that in politics it is often the messenger that is the most important factor, and you have puzzled for years over how a self made money man can come across so well for so long, when all New Zealand really wants is a progressive government and to be clean and green.

Instead of a good messenger you have a man who at best is an ineffective middle manager, and at worst a boring drone that New Zealand doesn’t listen to. So you start thinking, and wondering whether your progressive ideals are being held up by your leader, or if it just the keystone cop of a campaign manager who is making a mess of your career by keeping Labour in opposition for far longer than is just.

The thought of another interminable period in opposition where you cannot implement the policies progressive New Zealand so badly needs is driving you to distraction. The constant travel from the depths of the South for so little reward is sapping your resolve. Your talents are wasted on the back bench, and if you were in cabinet you would be able to avoid the dank oppression of the PRD even more than you do currently.

Worse still just two weeks ago you suffered the gross indignity of being named in a gossip column and being associated with the crippled campaign manager. It has been difficult to near impossible to overcome the embarrassment and having to constantly explain away the column to those who matter to you have worn you thin.

With your customary élan matched with nerves of steel you contemplate a future without a drone of a leader, and with someone that the public of New Zealand will listen to. The more you think the more you think a progressive New Zealand will be best served by a new leader, and so you become another of the most important number in a coup, a “One”.


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  • pdm

    You also get grumpy at Red Alert and now think that everyone who disagrees with you or wants to debate an issue with you is a Troll.

  • insider

    “highly tal­ented polit­i­cal com­mu­ni­ca­tions expert”. Mwahah!

  • whafe

    I actually started to have considerable respect for Clare and the way she comes across etc etc. Clare responded well to me in regards to her guest post on here.

    But of late, I am a little stunned to be honest of the behaviour of late from Clare. Hey, Clare can behave however she likes, free world, but it seems like she has started throwing her toys out of the cot… Not saying it would be easy to not get a bit tense about things.

    I agree with pdm, the whole performance etc on Red Alert is laughable. Do as we say, do as we do or you can fuck off… Doesnt really cut it does it….

  • “com­mu­ni­ca­tions expert”?

    Must be off her game of late.

  • Misanthropic Curmudgeon

    I got banned “for two weeks” on Red Alert (which was a few months ago, and is still in force thereby making a mockery of “two weeks”) for having the temerity to politley ask how Labour was planning on funding the estimated $4,000,000,000 extra (and counting) spending they want to do, when even restoring the tax cuts would not cover that off.

    Mallard banned me for ‘telling lies’ and Curran supported that ban. That speaks volumes for Labour and Red Alerts valuing of free speech and willingness to discuss their policies.

  • Cam, The People’s Republic consists of three parts.

    One is a reclaimed swamp that used to be full of heavy industry and Carisbrook. It is now South Dunedin. The second is a valley full of students. That is called North Dunedin (and North East Valley).

    The third is the hills where the productive classes live. It is neither cold nor dank. Instead it is either snowy, sunny or windy (or all three at once).

    The hills do have voting booths that vote national/ACT, but they are overwhelmed by the other two parts.

  • jabba

    must say, she has been having a rough time .. maybe Alisdair Thompson was right