Whale vs Duck – Trevor wins

Whaleoil vs Mallard

The result is in. Trevor Mallard challenged me to a cycle race. He asid I would be too chicken to accept the challenge. I wasn’t and today I finished the challenge.

Unfortunately I finished second behind Trevor Mallard.

Nevermind. I am fit, have lost weight and what is abundantly clear is that trevor Mallard has spent 3 months training his arse off to make sure he didn’t lose a bike a race against a fat blogger.

The results of trevor concentration on a bike race rather than Labour’s campaign will be seen in the polls on TV1 and Tv3 tonight.

Congratulations Trevor, you rode well, and thank you for the challenge.

Thanks you to all the loyal Whale army supporters who turned up to cheer me on. I appreciated your cheers and support. It helped a lot.

There were a few people out taking photos. Send them in and I will post them.

A huge thanks too to Mt Eden Cycles for providing me with the bike and gear for training.



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  • kevin

    Well done on the first crack at a cycle race, next time…

  • jabba

    I actually said well done to Trev as he completed his 2nd lap .. gulp.
    I thought you did really well and the great thing is the fitness improvement. After seeing your legs I was 1/ glad you manned up and didn’t shave them but 2/ maybe a tidy up would be good.
    Will get my daughter to load up the photos

    • Were you there Jabba? You should have said hello to me. I have always wondered who you actually are!

      • jabba

        I was the handsome guy with whiteish hair, sunnies, sleeveless jacket over a rugby jersey and thermal

        • Are you on the pull? Sounds like it.

        • You should have said hello. You can’t have missed me and the mutt that i can’t control that was jumping all over people. Cactus just loved him. A. Lot. : /

          • jabba

            who me? we had the two borfer collies who we needed to keep away from the bikes

  • jabba

    I did suggest way back to avoid a hilly course .. hills kill riders with limited miles under their belt .. a gutsy effort

  • Mr Blobby

    Does this mean you have seen the light and are going to join the Labour Party ?

  • reid

    Well done Cam. For accepting and competing and congratulations Trev for your win. I hope this challenge speeded your rehabilitation.

    Cam if you’re not already aware Tony Robbins as a follow up to something like this is good, very very good, but go for his historic courses. not the latest ones.

    Congratulations to you both.

  • thor42

    A good, gutsy effort in a sport that you’re very new in. Good on you!
    I wonder if The Duck would accept a challenge at clay-target shooting?

  • Mr Blobby

    Must be time to join the Labour Party.
    Now that you have been shown the Light.

  • Mr Blobby

    Good Try.

    Time to Join the Labour Party now that you have been shown the way.

  • db..

    Good one Whale,
    Now stay fit and you WILL be the winner.

  • Whafe

    Awesome race Cam, stoked for you on accepting a challenge in a sport that you have not participated in. May not feel it, but you did well.

    Congratulations Big Trev, you didn’t get plucked and roasted by the whale.

    Would be ride would it not to accept a clay bird comp with Whale?

  • simon

    As usual, all bullshit and bluster before the event, and still a loser at the end of the day. Wish I could’ve been there to see it.

  • Mully

    How many times are you going to ask if he’s going to join the Labour Party.

    I’d dare to suggest that Cam doesn’t like losing too often, so the Labour Party won’t be getting him as a member in the short term.

  • Naylor

    bloody well done Cam. You made Trevor HTFU! Brilliant strategy as always

  • Nick K

    Well done Cam. Next up is the 110k ride over the Harbour Bridge in December. You can’t stop now; before you know it you’ll be 75kilos.

  • John Fraser

    Cam ,im proud of youGreat effort,but take a break when it gets warmer and cycle the central otago rail trail, my wife and i have, its beautiful

  • Does this mean that an Act list candidate is going to be Labour’s biggest donor in 2011?

    • jabba

      she was a liitle worried I2 .. forgot her car was a manual .. snigger

  • michaels

    Well those thighs obviously weren’t made for cycling after all.
    Fuck the Duck.
    However Ms. Cactus won’t be happy, Pleased I don’t have to face her.
    And on the good side Crack Ho’s dog didn’t escape

    • HAHA! Do you want him? I know you do! He is free to an even average home!

    • mr t

      a crack ho, really…? fuck you’re a funny guy….

      • michaels

        You have been told to fuck off Mr T now do it.

        • Explaining why i don’t take “Crack Ho” as an insult is HARD sometimes. ;)

        • mr t

          Oh Dear!..Nice comeback ..I have obviously touched a nerve…personal abuse seems to be your default setting..

  • whalewatcher

    that photo speaks volumes!

    No love lost, is there fellas?

  • KT

    Well done to both of you. Really cool!

  • You did awesome Cameron – and you were laughing. That is the main thing! Pat yourself on the back for even finishing. I would still be out there!

  • Richard

    Congratulations to you both for the manly way you settled differences. I thought you were in trouble when I saw Mallard’s legs – even bigger than Annette King’s pins. Good to finally meet Cactus.

  • dad4justice

    Was this a contest for the biggest loser. FFS pathetic bullshit.

    • The Angry Dads association is what is pathetic. Fuck off.

  • Graeme Taylor

    Was this a contest for the biggest loser. FFS pathetic bullshit.

  • First time caller

    fantastic effort! Hope the bikers bum isn’t too bad.
    I know I certainly couldn’t ride the distance, but we know you’re made of tough stuff!

  • Phronesis

    As a cyclist I can’t say I’m surprised by the result but it has increased my respect for both of you. Which actually disturbs me a bit.

  • Renderer

    Brahms, Haydn and Mr Blobby – famous for variations on a theme

  • Renderer

    Brahms, Haydn and Mr Blobby – famous for variations on a theme

  • Merlene Shedlock

    Good on ya, i’m impressed.

  • Proud of both of you. Well done!

  • …oh, and Trev, now that that’s done… time to roll Phil. Tick Tock…

  • lordmontrose

    You lost a bike ride to a guy with a fractured femur and broken shoulder blade?

  • SHG

    It was a race of 1 half, full credit to the cyclists, and everyone was winner on the day ( except Cactus, maybe). Big up all round.

  • Pingback: Trevor Mallard demolishes Cameron Slater | The Paepae()

  • Brian Smaller

    Riding 60km is pretty hard for a novice. Riding from Hutt into Wellington kills me. Good job – and while you lost the race you actually won. What I want to know is how did Mallard get himself and his kit up to Auckland for this private recreational activity? Did we taxpayers pay his airfares? Send in an OIA request Whale.

    • Trevor told me he used Parliamentary Services to pay for the trip, the rental car and accommodation. It is apparently alla bove board because he has a couple of carefully scheduled meetings to justify the rort.

      • Johnboy

        Once a trougher always a trougher!

        Well done Whale.

  • Agent BallSack

    All credit to you Whale, The duck is known as a keen cyclist around Wellington, I see next years race going to you if you keep the training up ;)

    Just a thought…give him today to rest his legs after that race (he HAD to win after all, he would be the laughing stock of every newspaper if you had, so the stakes were a lot higher for him). Tomorrow however when the adrenaline and testosterone kicks in, he may be feeling like the *new* leader of the Labour party……

  • Cartwright

    Wow, even that was a ‘rort’.
    How incredibly ungracious.

  • Andy Dean

    OK, Mr Slater – here is, if you care, an honest and unbiased comment about this “challenge” without any silly political angles or some irrational personal hatred mixed in.
    I must point out that until I read the Herald today I was not familiar with your blog and that I am not a Trevor Mallard’s fan either. I am also not in the know as to how the actual dispute and the name-calling originated, yet unlike your loyal fan base here I simply aim to think rationally:

    1. Calling anyone a “cripple” because they broke a femur and a shoulder blade is pretty low and spiteful, whether they’d be a politician or a fisherman – would you call your mum a cripple if she fell of a bike and broke a bone or two? It is supremely childish – the way little school children sometimes pick on each others physical differences during playtime arguments.

    2. The fact that Mallard (or anyone else) sustained such injuries during a bike race is to his credit – he pushed his body’s physical limits and took a risk. One would not call Lance Armstrong a cripple if he fell during a race and broke a leg, would one?

    3. Now Mallard, as a grown man and a public figure, should have maintained his cool, rather then retorting with “blubber boy” – please see my point above regarding naughty school children.

    4. But it is rather gutsy, if childish, when someone that is still recovering from his injuries challenges his opponent to a 60km cycle race. Prior to the challenge Mallard even publicly admitted to his physical handicap: “I’m dis­tinctly lack­ing in con­fi­dence…I had a major injury. I can cycle slightly bet­ter than I can walk.” Yet he did not pull out.

    5. Your accepting of the challenge was therefore not a simple display of a good sportsmanship: “Remem­ber this was all Trevor’s clever idea. He chal­lenged me. I sim­ply accepted.”, but a face-saving attempt. You publicly called someone injured a “cripple” and they told you to put your arse where your bike seat was, so to speak (and $1,000).

    6. The fact that it forced you to loose weight during practice was undoubtedly beneficial for your health, however your swanky bravado prior to the race was anything but healthy: “Yep, I am going to kick his arse tomorrow.”

    7. You’ve lost – and by a huge margin; the self-proclaimed Killer Orca lost to a lame duck.

    No matter how you twist it, it is a huge public embarrassment for you: “So tomor­row night when the lat­est polls are being deliv­ered to the liv­ing rooms of Kiwi vot­ers you should all remind your­selves that Trevor Mal­lard, Labour’s cam­paign man­ager thought it would best to devote his time to a cycle race…”

    Actually, it seems to me that Trevor Mallard has spent the best part of his Sunday wining – not just a cycle race but sympathies from people who would have otherwise ignored him.

    • Spanishbride

      Nothing wrong with bravado. He hardly was going to go into a race planning to lose.
      Duck took the other approach and from his comments to the press had made it clear that there were plenty of reasons why he might lose.
      It’s called strategy Andy.

    • Richard

      Andy, you sound like a fool who has not been suffered by many. Its a bloke thing, you won’t get it.

  • Rat

    So the both of you used taxpayer funds ? (lol).

    Nah well done to the both of them, hopefully some mutual respect was to be found,

    • Spanishbride

      Nope only one.

  • nztony

    As an ex NZ Olympic Cyclist (of many years ago) and someone who used to cycle around Bucklands Beach and Musick Point for 10 or 11 years, congratulations to you both and what a great way to settle an argument!

  • Jeeves Ponzi

    “Fat Boastful Blogger Beaten by Old Man with Broken Leg”

    Whale should have put in as much effort in training as he has done in blogging since he lost!! Obviously trying his best to bury the post where he admits defeat.

    Oh, but wait!! He doesn’t have the grace to admit defeat-
    “The result is in. Trevor Mal­lard chal­lenged me to a cycle race. He said I would be too chicken to accept the chal­lenge. I wasn’t and today I fin­ished the challenge.”

    No Whale – a Race Challenge is about Winning, not Just Racing!!He lost the race to the Cripple Duck- but is too juvenile to admit it.

    After months of arrogantly spewing boasts out his blowhole he couldn’t deliver the goods – against an opponent he repeatedly said wouldn’t be good enough.

    “Nev­er­mind. I am fit, have lost weight and what is abun­dantly clear is that trevor Mal­lard has spent 3 months train­ing his arse off to make sure he didn’t lose a bike a race against a fat blogger.”

    All of a sudden when the battle is won – it was all unfair, poor old Fat Blogger.
    Ungracious to the last.

    Whale should man up and realise the proof is in that he’s a nasty boaster, a bad competitor, and a lousy loser.

  • CamSlater4Men

    hahahahahaha shame faggot – you lost and looked like a complete fool in the process.