Whale vs Duck – Update

Whaleoil vs Mallard

The weather looks to be perfect tomorrow. I walked the course today just to take it easy.

Meanwhile David Fisher at the Herald has an article about the race.

In a year of mismatched and painful political races, tomorrow’s is likely to be the silliest.

The blogger known as Whaleoil will face off against the “bovver boy” of the Labour Party in a 60-kilometre bicycle race in Auckland’s eastern suburbs.

In a sport often called “chess on wheels”, the bike race between Cameron ‘Whaleoil’ Slater and Trevor ‘Duck’ Mallard will hear little mention of the word “mate'”.

There is mutual loathing.

Yep, I am going to kick his arse tomorrow.

The contest came after Slater goaded Mallard by calling him “cripple” over his badly broken leg.

The elder statesman of the Labour Party lashed back, calling the comfortably-padded Slater “blubber boy'”.

“I bet he is too chicken,” Mallard said.

Well, he did accept.

And Slater – known for obsessively hounding issues – has turned his compulsive nature to the race and cycled about 15kg off his frame.

Mallard noted his opponent’s weight loss on television.

“I’m distinctly lacking in confidence,” he said.

“I had a major injury. I can cycle slightly better than I can walk.”

Remember this was all Trevor’s clever idea. He challenged me. I simply accepted.

Mallard, Labour’s campaign manager for November’s election, broke his right femur and right shoulder blade when he brushed wheels with another cyclist during a race in Otago five months ago.

Since then, he said he had considered withdrawing from the challenge and refusing to compete. But he has cycled the 20km course – of which they will ride three circuits – and says he will be there tomorrow.

“I’m probably of the mindset and generation that doesn’t like quitting.”

Slater, who Mallard calls an “obsessive character”, is relentless.

“He is a cripple. And he’s running a crippled campaign.'”

So tomorrow night when the latest polls are being delivered to the living rooms of Kiwi voters you should all remind yourselves that Trevor Mallard, Labour’s campaign manager thought it would best to devote his time to a cycle race and an asymmetrical war with a blogger.

What is faster Whales or Ducks? David Fisher asks a Zoologist.

Otago University zoologist Philip Seddon said whales in the wild would always be faster than ducks.

“Almost whatever kind of whale you thought about,” he says.

Seddon – who runs the university’s Wildlife Management Programme – said smaller whales were faster.

Slater’s time could, perhaps, dictate whether the blogger was truly small and dangerous.

“Maybe he’s an orca… a killer whale,” said Seddon.

Seddon obviously hasn’t seen my logo. Nevertheless the scientist is emphatic, no matter what sort of Whale you choose it will always be faster than a Duck.

The race starts at 1.30pm Sunday at Musick Point reserve at Auckland’s Bucklands Beach.

Mt Eden Cycles


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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

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