Why is this a problem for the young man?

Waikato police say no charges are being laid after a young man woke early today to find a 40-year-old naked woman in his bed trying to take his clothes off.

A spokesman said the man had been drinking at his Melville neighbour’s house before heading home to bed.

“The man has been asleep and unaware of what was going on, with the 40-year-old intoxicated woman in his bed. His mother has heard a noise and went to have a look and found the woman, naked, trying to remove the victim’s clothes.”

The man’s mother called police but no charges are being laid.

Perhaps we should arrange a marching band to play outside his house to help him celebrate.

THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Gary

    Would it have been the same outcome if the genders in this story were reversed?

  • Agent BallSack

    Gee I wonder if a young woman awoke with a strange 40 year old man in her bed, in her house taking her clothes off, would the police would be quite so generous?

  • gazzaw

    Or was this just the story the young man spun to his mother when she found them?

  • SHG

    Two words: Hamilton

  • Spanishbride

    WO, if our young man of 15 woke to find a 40 year old naked woman in his bed and it was our neighbour, you know ,( the lovely one who gave us both the finger ) are you going to tell me that you would think it all a big laugh? I would be as angry as if it were her 40 year old husband in bed with our 15 year old daughter.
    Why should a woman get away with taking advantage of a young drunk person when a man would not? I have read about drunk men who have woken to find a female they despised aboard. Imagine the disgust. You could catch something, you could become a father, all without your consent. Rape is rape. Lose your sexist world view WO.
    You are imagining being taken advantage of by some blonde goddess when in fact she was most likely a fat ugly troll with BO and bad breath.

  • peterwn

    Sounds slightly like the Moxham Ave (Hataitai, Wellington for those outside the beltway) goings on.

  • jimmie

    Hmmm the young fella was probably a bit bummed that his mama had good hearing!

  • cactus Kate

    Agree with SB.

    Its pretty fundamental to find your own bed. Even when as pissed as.

  • kiwikim

    WO – gee the missus told you…and i agree with her and cactus

  • Cobolt

    I’m with SB too. What if the young guy was gay? Still make it alright?

  • Paranormal

    Whilst SB and CK are right, I still can’t think of the young bloke as a “victim”…

  • The Gantt Guy

    Look, this whole fable hinges on one question: was the cougar hot? Since it happened in The Tron I’m guessing not; she was probably as wide as she was tall with a face like Helen Clark, in which case the poor wee fella must have thought (or hoped) he was having a nightmare. But if she looked like Heather Graham or Cameron Diaz, he probably should have just squeeked out a “No” (to make sure the rapist understood this was NOT consensual) and then, you know, gathered as much evidence as possible for the police.

    And sorry ladies, but it *is* different for boys and girls. That’s why so many fathers say “If my daughter ever brings home a boy that’s in any way like I was, LOOK OUT!”

    Oh dear Whale, pwned by the Missus in public. How does it feel to be the Labour party?

  • devlsadvocate

    Well, lets couch this in terms of schoolteachers.

    My first teacher crush was on my 40-something year old science teacher. That would make me a real happy boy. Hell, 16 years on and I’d still be happy getting just that on Christmas.

    Now, if it was another teacher of roughly the same age which one of my mates not-so-lovingly constantly referred to as Slugwoman…I’m not sure I could afford the therapy…

    So sayeth the Net Lord, “Thou Shalt Not Judge without pics of at least 300px x 600px”…