Domestic Violence is wrong, Ctd

Yesterday I posted about Domestic Violence and how I think silence isn’t an option anymore. Cactus Kate has also blogged about domestic violence and covered an aspect I hadn’t thought of, that of emotional violence which she says is far worse than physical violence:

Emotional abuse isn’t reported as is an horrific physical beating of a woman or kiddie with an instant death resulting. But it is definitely more prevalent and just as damaging. It isn’t a lower class, race or low incomed phenomenon either. Not all emotional abuse leads to physical poundings but all physical poundings seem to start with continuous emotional put-downs. It is statistically difficult to measure emotional abuse but we all can spot it when we see it in others.

It isn’t just men dishing out this abuse, women are capable of doing it as well. But the victims are almost always children and the weak who can’t stick up for themselves, whom more often than not are women.

Psychological and emotional manipulations cause lasting damage. Cactus suggest we have a zero tolerance attitude to emotional bullies:

The first and only time a boyfriend upset me with a derogatory comment I didn’t even talk back, I threw all his clothes off the fourth floor balcony at Princes Wharf into the street, waited til he went to retrieve them then chucked his cellphone at him gloriously hitting him smack in the middle of his head. I didn’t see the point of subsidising him to hang around if he was going to at least be pleasant.

This is the only appropriate response when you have such poison on your own team if they are family or not – cut them out of your life. A “no dickheads” rule. There’s too many external enemies trying to chop you down out there, having one living with you or purporting to be on your side cannot be tolerated. I don’t understand why there isn’t a zero tolerance policy towards emotional abuse.

Because at the end of the day it affects the children watching it far more than adults. Children can’t get up and leave. They’ve no choice in the matter. No adult related or not has the right to talk to a kid in an attempt of limiting their dreams or ambitions. Life will do that well enough for them eventually.

A child will then normalise the abusive behaviour in terms of men talking to women the same despicable way their father does, or women blackmailing men the way their mother does. They treate their weaker siblings with the same contempt. The cycle never gets broken.

The emotional abuse needs to stop:

If there is to be handwringing concern over physical violence on a select few kiddies of the feral heaving pathetic underclass, there should be far more concern about the emotional health of a far larger subset of kiddies subjected to continual negative emotional abuse as discussed here. And that of men and women in these emotionally abusive relationships.

Too many teens are taking depression meds these days or receiving counselling for depression. How many of these children are not actually ill requiring these meds but have instead “just” been subjected to a lifetime growing up of emotional abuse leading to tragic outcomes such as attempted suicides? Or worse?

Once again it is a matter of individual responsibility not to be in an emotionally abusive relationship and therefore enabling another to be able to carry out this abuse.

Enhanced by Zemanta
 


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Cactus also had some very sensible and direct things to say about Deadbeat Dads…

  • Spanishbride

    I heartily endorse Cactus, in particular about cutting people out of your life. Life is too short to spend it with people who don’t treat you with respect. This applies to friends as well as family. Being related to me by blood or being related to my spouse is not a get out of jail free card. I give people a LOT of rope before I pull the plug but I will and I have pulled it. The relief is incredible. No more stressing out because you know you will have to interact with them the next day. No more preparing myself mentally for the passive agressive behaviour or up front barbs. No more biting my tongue when I am treated like a child. No more having to watch them hurt those close to me. Think about it for a moment. People cannot have any power over you ( particularly the power to hurt you ) if they are not in your life.
    Give yourself a late Christmas present and give yourself permission to walk away. As I said in reference to a funny TV ad to my religious friend. ” Just PRAY and walk away “

  • Pharmachick

    +1 for Cactus on this. 

  • Pingback: Emotional Abuse – My Story « Mulholland Drive()

  • Blair Mulholland

    Yup, though it’s so hard to do when you are in the middle of it.  Here’s my story:
    http://blairmulholland.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/emotional-abuse-my-story/

48%