Domestic Violence is wrong

The Manawatu Standard editorial yesterday talked about the plague of domestic violence:

Perpetrators of domestic abuse have been shielded by silence, but that’s changing. Fewer people are averting their eyes and saying “It’s not my business”; more people are having the courage to speak up and say it is not acceptable in any circumstances to inflict violence on another person.

There has been a cultural shift in our society and, while there is still a long distance to travel, we are heading in the right direction.

We should also hold those who keep silent to account. While it is acceptable to remain silent on domestic violence women and children will continue to suffer. If you know of someone who has committed domestic violence look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you should do something about it.

In many instances our courts system protects the abusers with the shield of name suppression. Many domestic violence issues remain hidden by the use of the Family Court to resolve issues and the resulting blanket name suppression meaning abusers get off scot free leaving the wreckage behind them, and it isn’t just children and spouses that are affected either, in some case it affect their pets.

If you know others who have remained silent sit them down and tell them silence is not good enough. The “It’s Not Ok” campaign should be extended to say “It’s Not Ok to remain silent”.


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  • Pete George

    I agree – turning away and remaining silent in the face of violent behaviour can be a big a part of the problem.

    I’ve been heavily criticised when I’ve suggested non-violent but silent is a part of the overall violence problem – in fact I used to claim violence wasn’t my problem because I’m non-violent and was deeply offended when it was suggested I could be a part of the problem.

    It’s common for violent people to think that violence is a normal and acceptable way to deal with problems – non-violent people need to make it clear that violence is not normal or acceptable (in most cases) by speaking up.

  • Lindsay

    Sorry to be PC but males suffer too. Family First recently quoted Professor David Fergusson (of the ChCh Health and Development Study) thus,

    Prominent New Zealand researcher Professor David Fergusson says “the
    discovery of domestic violence in the context of the concerns of the
    Women’s movement has meant that domestic violence has been presented as a
    gender issue and used as an exemplar of patriarchy and male dominance
    over women.”

    He argues we need to broaden our perspective “away from the view
    that domestic violence is usually a gender issue involving male
    perpetrators and female victims and toward the view that domestic
    violence most commonly involves violent couples who engage in mutual
    acts of aggression.”

    • Where did I mention violence against women? I didn’t.

  • Thorn

    It is not my problem unless you give me the tools to solve the problem.. Tell this to Sian Elias and her catch-and-release judges who permit these thugs to re-enter society and continue the violence. Until then I’ll continue to protect my own without pity or remorse.

  • bringyergrogalong

    You mention women in the second line of your paragraph ” women and children will continue to suffer” the simple conclusion from reading that is that only women and children suffer from domestic violence. Considerable scientific, methodical and longitudinal studies from around the world show that women are about the same as men when it comes to initiating domestic violence.

  • dad4justice

    “Many domestic violence issues remain hidden by the use of the Family Court to
    resolve issues”
    Are you saying the Family Court is nothing more than a gravy train for unscrupulous
    lawyers and psychologists who dwell in false allegations, corruption, a callous
    disregard for children and meaningless meandering litigation?