Lucky to be alive

This small kid is lucky to be alive:

Gnarley is his name, and he certainly lived up to it yesterday, “surfing” a vehicle down Golden Bay’s Takaka Hill.

The parents of the adventurous Takaka Hill toddler turned stowaway are relieved to have him back safe and sound.

Two-year-old Gnarley Maguire hitched a ride in his grandfather’s trailer for 20 kilometres, from the hill’s summit to Motueka.

A truck driver spotted him in the trailer with a 1.2-metre-high cage, winding its way down the steep Takaka Hill road, and followed him to Motueka.

He asked Gnarley’s grandfather, who had stopped at the town’s Placemakers store, if he knew he had a child in his trailer.

He didn’t.

 With a first name like that he is extremely lucky to be alive. Silly First name Syndrome claims hundreds of lives.

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  • Cactus Kate

    We had a Saphire 7, today. Aunts picked on her. Leftists blame child poverty on adults teasing kids? These witches are plain nasty and need a good seeing to.
    Thing is how many kids have the silly name and are seven living in Cow town?
    If Saphire isn’t a fake name I fear she’s gonna get the bash today.

    • kehua

      You been drinking Kate?

      • Cactus Kate

        Hardly. When I’m drinking I don’t care about things like this.

  • bb

    silly kids names is a 1 second thought by immature parent/s. perhaps when they are old enough lets given them the chance to formally change their name and not carry on with the burden of their parent/s mistake. prhaps include that ms bennett in your report of action.

  • Gazzaw

    It’s interesting to note that Paula is looking into exactly how much intervention into families’ lives will be acceptable. Then we will hear labour’s hypocritical howling about privacy & peoples’ rights. All they could ever do was throw money at the problem more to make poor families dependent on labour’s largesse than for the improvement of childrens quality of life. Paula v Jacinda; Round 1.

    I hope that the government has the fortitude to tell the liberals & civil rights people to fuck off on this issue and put as much intervention in as possible to stop our kids being bashed, maltreated & murdered. The mood of the silent majority can see some really tough legislation passed.

    Go Paula!

    • James Gray

      Until one day, in order to save the ultimately useless children of wastrels from getting the bash, everyone with children must open their home to a weekly inspection with lengthy interviews of every child.

      Fuck that shit

      • Gazzaw

        James, done well those visits need not be intrusive at all to good parents. It happened up until about twenty years ago to all families. Our two kids had weekly visits from Plunket & were weighed, measured and checked over. It was a brilliant service that was really welcomed by families.

        I do not know how the issue of older children will be addressed but I would really go for the government beefing up Plunket and getting the newborns supervised as soon as possible. I guess the Green Paper will address that.

        ‘Fuck that shit’ attitude is not going to get this problem solved mate & it has to be or we will have some really major crime problems on our hands down the road.

      • Apolonia

        The more government involvement we have in peoples lives, the more child abuse we will have. That has been New Zealand’s experience over the last 50 years.
        The people who abuse their kids are those most dependent on the Government.
        The solution is less government involvement and more accountability and personal responsibility  like we had, before the “we know how to run your lives” crowd took over.

      • Hakim of Phut

        Plunket still goes to all kids. Turn them away and questions will be asked about your fitness to bring up a  5day to 6 month old child

      • Gazzaw

        So who isn’t responding to those questions HoP?

    • jay cee

      of course we all know don’t we, that if labour had dared suggest anything like this paula and you gazzaw would started chanting the mantra “nanny state, nanny state nanny”….

      • Anonymous

        There’s a difference between “good” intervention and “bad” intervention, jaycee.
        Good intervention is getting the lazy f**kers off the couch and into jobs or training, with the threat of losing the benefit if they refuse. It’s also making sure the children go to school (and the government should be harsher in that area, too.)
        Bad intervention is saying “awwww… poor beneficiaries! We’ll give you an extra $100 per week. Don’t bother looking for a job. Don’t bother making sure your children go to school. Have as many kids as you like – we’ll get taxpayers to pay for them.”

      • Gazzaw

        No jaycee I wouldn’t. This is a case where a bit of state intervention is fully justified. Nanny statism is when politicians start telling me sort sort of light bulbs or shower heads to use. Having a Plunket nurse call is what most responsible parents put their hands up for anyway. You were probably a beneficiary of the service jaycee.  

  • Dr Wang

    For some of these loser parents the act of producing a sprog is the only “productive” thing they do in their entire lives, and the naming of the poor child is their “15 minutes of fame” moment. With at best a double-digit IQ (and no education) through the fug of booze and drugs, the best the parent(s) come up with are trash-culture cliches and mis-spelt ebonic abstractions – the poor kid has to suffer with the label (and the clear signal to the world that they are the spawn of loser parents) for the rest of their lives.

    Compounded by the fact that the fact that the mother is probably drunk or out of it during the whole process (ie from conception onwards) and the likely subsequent affects of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, means the chance of a normal healthy life for the kid are almost nil.

    These kids aren’t planned, just the by-product of a selfish party lifestyle, so the quality of the parenting will always be poor to non-existant.

    This lifestyle leapfrogs the nature/nurture debate – these kids are damaged by both.

    To the rest of society, the obvious reaction to the kid with the ridiculous name is caution. SFNS is just an early warning that you may be dealing with damaged goods, a problem child from a problem environment – perhaps the one positive aspect of SFNS.

    • Agent BallSack

      Exactly, You could run your finger down a roll call at school and pick out the kids with deadbeat parent/s just from the names. Lets not stop this – the more Kleeshays, Blades and Qba’s the better, CYFS could pick their customers from the list too. 

      Ebonicly translated:

      Yo Exactly, You could run yo’ finger down uh roll page at skoo an’ pick out da kids wif deadbeat parent/s just from da names. Lets not stop dis here – da mo’ Kleeshays, Blades an’ Qba’s da bettah, CYFS could pick they customers from da list too what ‘chew trippin foo’ 

      • Dr Wang

        Thanks Agent BallSack – excellent link!

  • Anonymous

    You can guarantee one thing – the parents of this Gnarley will be either Labour or Greens voters. 

  • Jam_Sammie

    You can just imagine some stoned rope headed father turning up to the birthing room (direct from the skate park) and seeing the latter part of the birth proudly declaring “That’s Gnarley Dude!!” and it stuck from then on..


    Where on  gods green earth do these morons come from.Surely we have found the missing link to the apes in the evolution process.Demand they all be sterilised incase they inflict more stupidity on their future chidren and the human race.Fuckheads!!!!

  • AnonWgtn

    For too many Children in New Zealand are Income, and that’s the only way they know, or want to know.
    Imagine as in UK now the Moslem’s are now well into intergenerational welfare. They are outbreeding everybody else by enormous quantities. Families of 12 children are not unusual and the girls at 14 are “married” to other families only to reproduce again and again within 15 year generation cycles.
    I believe I read that by 2050 they will represent over 50% of the population at the current birth rate.
    Look at their welfare bills.


      Maybe if welfare capped the level of support to 2 kids then these people would not use the system as a wage ,and cant breed like flys.

      • Anonymous

        I agree. 
        Stop the support at two children. If you choose to have more, you’re on your own – you pay for them.
        Simple bloody common-sense and FAIRNESS.
        Show the feckless poor that their choices have consequences. It’s that old word that we never see used nowadays – RESPONSIBILITY. 
        If Key and Bennett did this, their support would go up by ten percent – guaranteed.

      • Thorn

        I agree. I planned my children and made sure they are looked after. Its far better to abort a pregnancy than to birth a child others have to pay for. 

  • Alex

    Credit where it’s due: they did claim to start looking for him within 2 minutes of the grandfather leaving.  In several of these recent toddler disappear stories, I’ve noticed that it seemed to have been hours, rather than minutes, before the parents realised the toddler had gone missing.  Of course, in such cases when the toddler is never seen again, it becomes the police, loose manhole covers, etc etc to blame.

    • Jam_Sammie

      How long were they NOT paying attention before the grandfather left is probably more the point Alex and also likely explains the other cases you mentioned…

  • Stuarts Burgers

    I like the Cameron idea in the UK of setting a household limit on benefits. this would include the benefit of cheap state housing. I think that want it at about the average wage, people and particularly the Bishops in the House of Lords are all upset, but I think that people should follow Norman Tebitt’s  advise  of get off your chuff,get on your bike, and find a job.

  • phronesis

    I want to know what his five siblings are called…

    • Thorn

      They are named after their uncles: Thief, Rapist, Pimp, Dealer and Hone.

    • Thorn

      The maternal cousins are: Suspect, Escapee, Remand, Sentenced, and Recidivist.

  • jay cee

    no, steve maharey actually told beneficiaries that there were certain parts of the country that they needn’t bother moving to if they think they can get away from finding work. as for shower heads and light bulbs that was a greens initiative. ok so i’m splitting hairs i know but credit, and blame where its due ok ? yes myself and my wife and daughters were recipients of plunket nurses attention . so we’re agreed, not all intervention by quasi government bodies is so bad?

    • Agent BallSack

      If you look after your kids, work and pay your bills. you probably will never experience a visit from a government or welfare agency apart from Plunket. We appreciated a calming voice amidst the turmoil of a newborn, and the care and experience of someone who dealt with thousands of kids yearly.  

      • jay cee

        hear hear

      • EX Navy Greg

        Spot on Ballsack, been there too.