The convertiparty

Denis Welch is scathing of Labour, he calls them the convertiparty:

I can no longer deny that every time I think of the current state of the Labour Party the image of Richard Pearse‘s convertiplane comes into my mind. Long after his failed attempts at sustained flight in South Canterbury in the early 20th century, Pearse devoted all his energy to perfecting this strange aircraft, which though visionary in some respects was clearly never going to get off the ground. It seemed to have far too many moving parts and, in repose, looked like a giant insect with an identity crisis. It drove him mad and he ended his days in Sunnyside mental hospital.

So perhaps I’m being unfair to Labour; maybe, while the rest of us sun ourselves by pool or beach, in between downpours of rain, the shed down the back of the Labour section is actually humming with activity. Let us picture the busy scene: amid the hand-mowers, garden tools and half-used cans of paint, the party’s most progressive thinkers, and Trevor Mallard as well, are beavering away on a new model. Never mind that most of the electorate no longer has any idea what Labour stands for: party strategists are convinced that with Kiwi ingenuity, No 8 wire and lashings of aviation glue they can design a convertiparty capable of soaring into the political firmament. Unlike the old model, this baby will fly!

So there it sits in the Labour shed—the convertiparty, still half-built, not yet capable of sustained flight, but a potential world-beater. Above all (and here is the fiendish cunning of the thing) it will be all things to all people. And you thought the Labour Party had lost its way! The only outstanding issue, I understand, is reconciling the aerodynamics of the right wing with the tendency of the left wing to lurch. But technicians are working on this even as we speak.


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  • Agent BallSack

    “….Trevor Mallard as well” Ouch!

    • Guest

      Damn! Just spilled my coffee all over the keyboard reading that one phrase!

  • niggly

    Just read the Denis Welch article – what a hoot!

    Also read the Robert Winter article and the comments are a hoot, the majority seem to think MUNZ are unrealistic (yipee!) and David Shearer, if he has any sense, should stay clear of them (unlike Mr Winter). Well until a certain Len Richards wrote a comment to attack those above commentators and harked back to the 1800’s ….oh plueeeze Lenny, give us a break, the MUNZ workers do rather well from their Capitalist Masters – sheesh, most workers from the 1800’s would give anything for a time machine to reach the world in 2012 and be working on the Auckland waterfront!

    Nevermind, Len may as well keep it up so we can enjoy our popcorn I suppose (amd seeing that Shearer’s Labour have turned off the entertainment tap for the timebeing)!

  • Anonymous

    “….it’ll be all things to all people.” 
    Yep, that’s Labour all right. Pretty much a lolly-scramble masquerading as a party. 
    Now that the socialist economic approach has been discredited around the world, they really have lost their reason for existence.