Braunias on McCully

Steve Braunias looks at Murray McCully’s secret diary, he finds a Nigerian scamster has been emailing Murray:

WEDNESDAY

Quite a large sum of money is missing from the Government’s bank account.

Discuss the situation with Bill English and the PM.

We agree that there’s no proof that it was Victor, and even less evidence that his email was some sort of scam.

“And let’s not forget the $76m in cash stowed away in a safety deposit box in Europe,” says English.

The PM ponders the situation. He asks exactly how much is missing from the Government’s bank account.

When I tell him it’s $25m, he shrugs, and recommends I go about trying to get the money back from somewhere else before anyone notices.

And then we leave the room together, but get stuck in the doorway.

THURSDAY

Call in Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade chief executive John Allen for a bit of a chat.

“How are the staff?” I ask him.

“Their morale is at an all-time low,” he says.

“Why d’you think that is?” I say.

“They hate working for you,” he says.

“That’s easily solved,” I tell him, and we draw up plans to axe 300 jobs.

Happily, it equates to a saving of $25m.

 


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Pokerface

    Hakim & Kosh might leak this to the media??

  • Dr Wang

    Well it’s obvious why Braunias was given the boot from the SST – “humour” that laboured is fucking hard work. And Stevie is thick enough to plagiarise someone else’s joke (secret diary) that wasn’t even funny in the first place…duh.

  • jay cee

    i thought it was and miss braunias’ column. shows WO isn’t afraid to poke fun at the nats-nice one!

32%