How to get free mobile internet

It seems getting free mobile internet is easy and free to get…but you have to be famous…and slag off Telecom on Twitter:

Actor Stephen Fry has implored New Zealanders to demand better broadband, describing the service as “pathetic”.

Mr Fry took to Twitter this morning saying the broadband here is“probably the worst” he has ever encountered after trying to upload a charity video for a dinner function.

“Rise up, Kiwis and demand better? You wouldn’t allow crap roads with pot holes and single file. [That’s] what you’ve got [Broadband wise]…” he wrote.

The English actor is in Wellington for the filming of the Peter Jackson film The Hobbit.

“I know, it’s feeble to moan. I’m on set now. It’s 6:15 and the wifi here is good. But I have So many videos and sound files to upload.”

He then said a “smart guy” could make “a fortune and a fool of the complacent Telecomm [sic] and their contemptuous attitude to customers. Phew! Rant over.”

Telecom then responded on Twitter.

“Ouch – we can send a mobile bband stick, to see if that’s better? DM an address if keen. Is your WiFi with us, do you know?”

Wouldn’t it be great if Telecom looked after our own population before smart mouthed, whingy, pommy bastards.


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Petal

    The problem with our BB is that it’s ridiculously asynchronous.  If you’re in the business of providing content it takes several wet weekends to get the content to a server.  A lot of ISPs advertise their packages as FULL/FULL but what you get is FULL/0.5MBit.

  • Wonder what he’d think when he found out there’s a tonne of people in rural areas who are still on slow as a wet week dial up because that’s all that is available. 

  • wouldn’t it be even ‘greater’ if our broaband did not both suck and blow..?

    year four on from the promises now…isn’t it…

    ..they do say politicians spend elections promising what they will do..

    ..and then post-election work equally as hard not making it happen..

    ..the broadband promises from key/nact would be a textbook example..

    ..and yes..clark/labour also suck..

    ..for doing nothing.. all those years..

    [email protected]

    • MrV

      Don’t see you digging any ditches? Expecting the Enterprise to beam everything into place in an instant as usual.

      • James Gray

        Pretty much. Fiber to every door is not something that just happens, regardless of whether the public or private sector is doing it

  • bristol

    Being a Pom is not the problem. The luvvies have a history of being right up themselves. We’ve just got over the irrelevant, history challenged, Sean Penn spouting off about the Falklands, when up pops Fry throwing a tanty because his broadband connection is not operating at the speed of light. What’s next Stephen? The Treaty of Waitangi, and how New Zealand have got it so wrong!

  • Auto_immune

    “You wouldn’t allow crap roads with pot holes and single file” – Clearly hasn’t driven (or been driven on) SH1 & 2 then.

    •  Damn – you beat me to it Auto_immune!!

  • Whaleoil I’ve said this before, we’ve taken over the world title of being “smart mouthed, whingy, bastards” from the poms.

  • Peter

    It would be good, but he is correct. I pay full BB fees for service that is only marginally faster than dial up. T’Com don’t want to know about it. They put it down to rural issues, but I notice they don’t offer me a price break! Total pricks!

    • Karlos

      Peter, give them a call and ask them to turn Interleaving off for your connection, can speed up your connection in rural areas.

      • James Gray

        Really? Interleaving is usually better left on if your circuit is of poor quality (or long). Slightly more latency for a more stable connection

        I could be wrong though, I’ve never had experience in this particular situation

  • Pdubyah

    Heaven forbis anyone of influence ever visits. A petulance and a reply and then the Media froth over it to get it to be a “Slam” and a front page leader.

  • Brian Smaller

    I pay for satellite BB on my rural property and so far have lost an arm and a leg.

  • John Q Public

    What’s the beef, the old poof is bang on about our slow BB.

    • Doug_S

      I agree to a point…yes is is old and a poof but…his argument is subjective. Was he talking about his connection in his hotel? If so, he was probably sharing is with many if not hundreds of other guests. If he was using his iPhone on WIFI then we all know it’s not that flash anyway (technology issue not BB). If he was using 3G or XT still not that flash (provider issue, transmission hardware). BB at home and at the office is fairly good these days and admittedly some of our rural friends are under resourced in that area but is down to our geography and our population or lack there of. 

      Point is, if your traveling do your homework. Check the hotel BB speed I do when I travel it’s important for me. If you know you are going to be working in particular area check for WIFI coverage and if it’s free well an good but don’t complain if it’s not up to scratch it’s fee FFS. There seems to be a generation of newly tech savvy people out there that have been vjazzled with iPhones, iPads and smartphones that have never really been through the pain that most of us 40ish internet users have and have seen it go from 28.8k modem to 12Mb/sec BB in 13 years..(.slow but progress). This section of new ted savvy users may be expecting too much. they fly around the globe from LA to HK, Tokyo and alike and BB is great…but in NZ we must be really suffering. I say to Mr Fry, stop your bitching mate and get on with it…you obviously did not do your homework before you travelled and probably complained about a non existent problem with BB.

  • Richard

    It turns out he had exceeded his data cap and his connection was throttled.!/stephenfry/status/171377884265590784
    Happens all the time. And yes, the performance is crap when you are throttled but that’s the nature of the beast.  

    • Doug_S thanks for the pointless rant Stephen. Go back to sunny Pom land and suck up the fantastic pile of shit that place is or stay here and enjoy the summer up to you….

  • Richard Irvine, @telecomnz

    Just for the record, while we offered Stephen TStick to try, we didn’t wind up giving him one, as it would have been unsuitable for his needs – his broadband is now back up and running at full speed and he is on the right plan. Cheers.

    • Doug_S

      Richard..stick around mate I’m sure there are plenty of people here who have an opinion about Telecom and you never know you might actually revive some customers…as for me…no thanks..too many years…too much trouble…too much picking my pocket.

      • Doug_S

        George Price…thanks for the like..other blogs you comment on?? Cheers in advance..

      • Boss Hogg

        Hey Doug, Vodkafone and Smellykom have been picking everbodied pockets for ever.  Here, in Friendly Singapore we get mobile phone 13G of data, unlimited local txt and about a million minutes of talk time for ………$107-00 per month.  How does that compare??   And FAST BB to most places in the world with our fibre connection – but into NZ is alsways much slower when I connect to our NZ server.  It seems like the whole country is throttled back at the border.

      • Karlos

        Boss Hogg, unfortunately it is throttled at the border as the Southern Cross cable is nearing capacity. Bring on the second connection that Sam Morgan and co are proposing! Until it happens the governments UFB roll-out is a waste of time/money.

  • Greg M

    My 42  apartments with naked DSL to the junction, is getting 11mb each way. plug in a cheap arse phone anywhere and it’s down to 9.( or less )
    Nigeria has better.

  • Johnmstroup

     Kumar said at the rate the country’s broadband is going, in 2015 New Zealand will be two years behind where the US is now.
    OECD figures put New Zealand in the middle of the pack for advertised broadband download speeds, but the cost of accessing broadband is higher in New Zealand than in most other OECD countries.

    I’d say he’s got it right, even if he’d been slowed down because the account had hit it’s limit [which shouldn’t have been there in the first place].

    Drop outs, slow downs [with out hitting limits or caps], and VERY expensive. Yup, he’s right.