The Whaleoil Bounty List

This parliamentary term I will be offering the following bounties.

$250 Bounty for:

  • A photo of Winston Peters wearing his platform shoes, or
  • A photo of Winston Peters wig adrift on his head, or
  • A photo of Andrew Williams drunk in Courtenay Place, or
  • A photo of Winston Peters drunk in Courtenay Place, or
  • A photo of Brendan Horan being slapped by a woman, or

$500 Bounty for:

  • Video of Winston Peters drunk in Courtenay Place
  • Video of Andrew Williams drunk in Courtenay Place
  • Video of Brendan Horan being slapped by a woman

$1000 Bounty for:

  • Video of Winston Peters and Andrew Williams together, drunk in Courtenay Place
  • Video of Andrew Williams “watering” the plants anywhere.

Place other suggestions for Bounty targets in the comments.


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  • Agent BallSack

    Planning on paying out the whole Bounty tonight are you Whale? :)

    • LOL ABS, I concur on that one :D

  • Johno1234

    A video of Winston’s wig getting blown off in a Wellington gale, then Winston on his platforms chasing the dog that caught it down the street.

  • Mattyman

    A video of Jacinda getting a real job?

    • Johno1234

      Neigh neigh giving a hand job?

      • DONKEY

        Mrs Ed giving head

  • Agent BallSack

    A $50 bounty on Kosh103 agreeing with anything Whale says on Charter Schools or even a post where he doesn’t call anyone deluded, a liar or a fool

    • Gazzaw


      • bb



    Picture of Auckland mayor getting into his limo from the train station?


    Oh just thought, photograph of any contributor

  • a photo of key outside his local legal-pot-shop in hawaii..

    ..(preferably coming out or going in the door..)

    [email protected]

    • Agent BallSack

      Any idiot could Photoshop that.

    • Pharmachick

      Actually, medicinal marijuana is legal in Hawaii and has been since 2000 … there are just no pot shops to buy it from.  

      •  pharmachick..if you google marijuana in hawaai.. get a how to/where from-link..

        ..what on earth are you on about..?

        ..and you a ‘pharmachick’…

        [email protected]

      • Pharmachick

        What are you talking about Phil, follow those links and you get a short-course in “how to find illegal bud”. Many Kiwis could write a similar stupid “primer”/ 

        Apologies, I should have been more careful with my statement …

        I said “… there are just no pot shops to buy it from” 

        I should have said 

        “… there are just no legalized, clean, safe, easy to find, not-ripping-you-off post shops to buy it from, so even though medicinal pot is legal (unlike NZ) you cannot just trot down and buy it at the local Post Dispensary the same way you can in Berkeley California.”


    • bb

      you can legally grow your hawaii. no big deal.

  • Agent BallSack

    $5 Bounty on hacking The Stranded and turning it into a site where frustrated old men take out their self hatred on others? Oh wait…..

  • Blam

    Cant you just hack their phones like any other guttersnipe ?

  • a photo of bill english….actually in dipton…

    (from anytime over the last 12 years…)

    [email protected]

    • Greg

      A photo of Phool with a job

      •  you could have that any day..

        starting at between 5.00 am and 5.30 am..

        when i start searching for/compiling about 30+ stories/links for the news-aggregation site i

        ..or you could get it of me doing a commentary on every questiontime…

        ..the opportunities are many..

        ..(i’m just

        [email protected]

      • Roger


        One handed typing is not a job

      • Boss Hogg

        Phil, Any advertising revenue from your web site yet?  I would pay a $50 bounty on seeing your tax return showing net payment to IRD after deducting welfare income.

    • Anonymous

      Bill is in Dipton all the time actually, used to live down the road from him. But what he does in his personal life is irrelevant to you.

  • gerry brownlees’ and parekura horomias’ food-diaries…

    [email protected]

  • metiria turei with her mouth full of her favourite hamburger.. (side-fries optional..)

    [email protected]

  • vid of david shearer actually singing kum-bay-a…

    [email protected]

  • video of the time russel norman promised sue bradford that if she helped him knock tanczos out of the green party leadership-race..

    ..that he would in turn back her when the female co-leadership came up…

    [email protected]

  • recordings of the conversations between key and that lord ashcroft…..

    ..from any one of those regular ‘briefings’ he gives key…

    [email protected]

  • Grandstream

    Photo of Hone Harawira (John Hatdfield) actyually making a differnce to the lives of the underclass in NZ

    •  you need to go to kaitaia and talk to the locals on the ground..

      ..they could take you on a walking-tour of just such ‘differences’ he has made..

      ..the list is quite impressive..

      ..and i doubt any other mp could top/better

      [email protected]

      • Misanthropic Curmudgeon

        Like what?

  • doormouse

    Could be Brendan Horan

  • I know this is a National Party dream site – but come on – what about some bounty for unbecoming behaviour by National party members? I have some already……waiting…!!

    • Send them to the tipline then

    • DONKEY

      his boyfriend is Bob – Neil and Bob – thats what they do

  • Thorn

    A $50 dollar bounty on Jay Cee supporting his claim he is a Justice of the Peace.

    • jay cee

      look me up in the yellow pages! but then i suppose i’ll start getting anonymous letters written in block capitals threatening me and mine again, eh thorn? $50.00 would come in handy. 

      • Thorn

        No anonymous letters. I intend to lodge a formal complaint about your inappropriate conduct, with cc to you (plus $50.00). prove you are a JP as you claim. What’s your name, coward.

        Wishing HRM dead to advance your personal ambitions suggests you are unfit to hold any position of responsibility.

  • Agent BallSack

    A picture of Winston paying back the money he owes us; Priceless

  • Michael

    Compromising picture of Winston and a blonde other than Ms T – $2 each. We can’t bankrupt the Whale.

  • Kthxbai

    A video of David shearer producing a grammatical and intelligent sentence.

    • Steve (North Shore)

      Video of Phool producing a grammatical and intelligent sentence.
      Hang about, that’s two things

      • Anonymous

        Be realistic Steve

  • Ppttpe

    I would kick in $100 toward the video of Andrew Williams “watering” Wiston Peters in Courtenay Place.

  • Anonymous

    A screenshot of a kosh post in which he says –
    “OMG – leftwingers are morons. The rightwingers were correct all along. I was wrong. John Key is God. I support charter schools – the more, the better.”   

  • jay cee

    is “thorn” his/her real name? just while we are on the subject of cowards.

  • Anonymous

    A copy of phillip ure’s payslip showing tax paid

  • Anonymous

    LOL shame I don’t live in Wellys anymore. Saw Winnie out of the piss a good few times back in the day, could have made it a full time job!

  • bb

    how about any of them listed photo if them drunk anywhere? 

  • Greg M

    No bounty required here, if I could deliver any of the above I would do it FOR FREE just to piss them off.

  • Caro Druce

    Don’t have the photographic evidence of Brendan Horan being slapped…. But he was certainly trying out his charms on several woman at “The Elephant Wrestler” on Friday 24 February 2012!! Was so good to see him in such fine form whilst his wife was home in tauranga??
    He was certainly working within a pack of fine men!