Braunias on Brown

 Steve Braunias takes apart Len Brown in his usual style:


Most days I take the opportunity to grab a bit of precious me-time, and what I do is I turn off the computer, switch the phone to silent, leave the office without telling my personal assistant where I’m going, take the lift down to the car park, jump into my V6 Holden Commodore with the Holden-IQ Enhanced Bluetooth and leather-wrap premium multifunction steering wheel, drive to a pristine Auckland beach, take off my Giorgio Armani dark-brown leather loafers which cost 748 (about NZ$1200), kneel down and put my head in the sand.

If you thought that was bad check out Thursday:

Had dinner with Labour leader David Shearer. It was a bit awkward. Our ability to discern the quality of the food was severely limited by the fact that our hands were tied, and complicating things even further is that we were sitting on our hands.

“It’s all right,” he said. “I’m not very hungry.”

“Neither am I,” I said.

I listened to his stomach howling and he listened to mine. We sat there wasting away until we were just skin and bone, a couple of ragged scarecrows, two hollow men.

And Friday isn’t much better:

Had dinner with John Key.

He said, “So I hear you’ve lost the common touch.”

I said, “Well, I hope so.”

He said, “Yeah. It drags you down.”

I said, “Who needs it?”

He said, “Exactly. Hey. Can you do this?”

I watched as he unscrewed his head, and let it float up to the ceiling. He said, “Come on up, Len. You can do it!”

A second later, I looked down from the ceiling and said to him, “I love your moccasins. Are they Armani?”

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As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

To read Cam’s previous articles click on his name in blue.