Braunias on Shearer…again

Timaru Herald

Steve Braunias again takes a peek at David Shearer’s diary:

MONDAY

There’s a story I’d like to share with you.

It’s the story of a man.

He wasn’t an old man. But neither was he a new man. He was a new, new man.

A new, new man with vision and purpose and focus and things like that! A new, new man who wants to take New Zealand to a new, new place! I’m thinking Finland.

Let’s all go to Finland.

There’s only four million of us. No-one will notice.

The “New New Zealand” theme is ridiculous.

WEDNESDAY

Where was I?

Oh yes.

Sierra Leone, or was it Sri Lanka?

Whatever. The point is that I was given a job of taking exam papers across the front line from the government side to the rebel side.

It meant travelling down a single road that was mined on either side.

Eventually we got the exam papers around the various schools.

I stopped to talk at one place to community leaders about why exam papers – of all things – were so important to them.

I asked them: why hadn’t we brought them medicine, or food, that were critically in short supply?

I still remember their answer.

They told me that we were all players in an anecdote that I would one day use to stunning effect as leader of the Labour Party.

I’m not sure an exam paper delivery man qualifies anyone for being a political leader.

FRIDAY

The devil is in the details.

So let’s not go there. What I’m getting at is that it’s time for me to wrap things up with a resounding message of hope.

So let’s all put our best foot forward, straighten our backs, swing our arms, whistle a merry tune, and I’ll see you all in Helsinki. Cheers!

Apart from the lone fan bois at The Standard not a single person has praised David Shearer’s speech, now he is being openly mocked.


Do you want:

  • Ad-free access?
  • Access to our very popular daily crossword?
  • Access to daily sudoku?
  • Access to Incite Politics magazine articles?
  • Access to podcasts?
  • Access to political polls?

Our subscribers’ financial support is the reason why we have been able to offer our latest service; Audio blogs. 

Click Here  to support us and watch the number of services grow.

As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news, he tends to be in it, with protagonists using the courts, media and social media to deliver financial as well as death threats.

They say that news is something that someone, somewhere, wants kept quiet. Cam Slater doesn’t do quiet and, as a result, he is a polarising, controversial but highly effective journalist who takes no prisoners.

He is fearless in his pursuit of a story.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t ignore him.

39%