West Auckland Give Way Rules From This Weekend


I understand that there may be special Give Way rules for West Auckland:

From 5am on 25 March 2012 the Give Way Rules are changing.

From then, the red Mk IV Cortina will give way to the green Mk IV Cortina.

Until that time the Purple Holden Ute has right of way over the Blue Holden Ute.

Real cars will continue to have right of way over Japanese cars.

Holden will never give way to Ford, and vice versa, leading to collisions whenever they meet.

Trucks will continue to have right of “weigh” because they weigh more.

With some exceptions. Here the rubbish truck is heavier, but must be overtaken or it will hold up traffic which is a crime against god and nature.

Buses weigh a lot, but, being a form of public transport of course never get right of way.

Note how all these drivers cooperate to ensure there is no gap the bus can push into.

Classic cars have right of way, so the Holden gives way to the Jag XK120, with some exceptions.

Ford Capri claims classic status but Holden Ute gains right of way because the Capri has been painted pink….and it’s a Ford.

Holden HZ gains right of way over Holden SS V not because it is a classic but because the SS driver is more worried about scratching his paint work.

Citroen DS claims right of way as a classic, but no one ever gives way to the French.

Real classics claim right of way over not really classics like this 1980s Rover 3500

Time machine gets right of way over everything, except…

Magnum PI, because nothing holds up that moustache [See Ferrari refutes the Decline of the West, in Republican Party Reptile, P J O’Rourke].

Ordinary cars give way to a police car.

‘Traffic safety service’ police will continue to give way to real police trying to catch Sheryl West.

Police cars still give way to ambulances.

I guess if two ambulances meet they both have right of way and collide. Cool…

Then you’d have to send a really BIG ambulance!

So in summary the green piece of tinfoil and glad wrap origami on the left gives way to the green Japanese piece of tinf…oh who cares, Westies never admit to driving Japanese.


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  • Agent BallSack

    Ohhh this is so much clearer now. Thanks Whale!

  • politically unstable

    I wouldn’t want to be on a motorbike while everyone adjusts to the new rules…


      bad enough with the present ones

  • thor42

    Very good!  

  • John Q Public

    Nice. The “top of the T” rule I always thought was like that already until a year or two ago. That would have to be the most ignored road rule, so nothing’s really going to change there, after Sunday.

    • Petal

      Same here.  I was once loudly admonished by a lady after not giving way to her at the top of the T as I turned into it.  “You &*(&$( locals don’t know the bloody rules!!!”  I told her I though she may be wrong because we all drive like that here.  “I KNOW!!!!!!” she says,… “LOOK IT UP! ARSEHOLE!”..

      So I did.

      Oops.  She was right.


  • Richard B.

    Very nice selection of cars there.

    Well done.

  • jay cee

    out west and pretty much everywhere might is right i.e if hes bigger and looks meaner,he goes first and nobody gets hurt. just kidding,not looking forward to sunday

  • Agent BallSack

    No one knows the T rule. Well with the exception of truckies because its one of the ones you have to know for you licence. As for the left hand rule, I won’t be indicating left for a couple of months til everyone has it down but am damn glad to see that stupid give way to traffic unless theres traffic behind you rule gone!

  • A Fireman

    No fire engines? What do to in this case? So confusing these new ‘road rules’ are!

  • greenmuppet

    There is no such thing as give way rule on NZ roads. The rule that’s always been in effect is “first in, first served” regardless of where you are on intersection. Truckies can be ignored because they have pretty damn good brakes anyway :-)

  • Lcmortensen

    In one sentence – from 5am on 25 March, non-Westies must not proceed further than the Great South Road exit on the Northwestern Motorway!

    • Travdog

      Great South Rd Exit on the North Western? it’s a wonder you can even find your way to the local dairy. At least we don’t have to worry about you finding your way ‘out here’.

      • Lcmortensen

        Great NORth Road on the Northwestern – forgot to proof-read. Better still, don’t drive in Auckland full stop.

      • Lcmortensen

        Great NORth Road on the Northwestern – forgot to proof-read. Better still, don’t drive in Auckland full stop.

  • Beth

    At the infamous Warkworth Hill St intersection us locals have our own rule: “You snooze, you lose – bloody tourists!!”

    • Richard B.

      Yes. Will be avoiding that intersection if I can on Monday morning.

      Worst intersection in the country?
      It gets my vote.

  • Kosh103

    Someone has waaaayyyy too much time on their hands to have put that all together. ;0D

    • Steve (North Shore)

      Prob done by a Teacher, nobody in the private sector has that amount of spare time

      • Paulajbarrington

        Actually it was done by an air force medic :-)

      • Kosh103

        Only an idiot thinks teachers have large amounts of free time.

        Oh look it was an idiot who said it, steve.

      • Chrish4

        I just went to a parent teacher interview evening.

        Only two teachers had problems with my son not focusing in class, and having excuses for not doing his homework – one had even recognised/diagnosed that he has ADHD and even what medication he was on… One other teacher was seriously unhappy about his level of aplication.

        4 others were very wishy washy and didn’t have any problem with him and thought he was fine…

        Which ones do you think had my complete attention and interest in what they were saying??

        His mother and I had already identified how the ones who maked him as being perfectly adequate would be before we met them – we were spot on with our judgements.

        It was a perfect example, in a microcosm, of why teachers don’t want performance pay – those two EXCELLENT teachers are probably paid no more (or more likely less) than the other 4 sheep who were “phoning in” their performance and not making an effort.

        I know which ones I’d be paying the better money too!!!

  • KB

    … before Kosh 103 makes any more rude comments about public servants, it took one hour to photograph, and I did it while on leave after working 4 weeks straight without a day off, and yes I could get more money in the private sector.   Apologies to ‘A Fireman’,  I did consider adding a fire truck (and bicycle, and US vs UK vs Aust), it was too long already. 

    • Steve (North Shore)

      Wasn’t Kosh making rude comments about public servants, it was me. Teachers piss me off because their job is to brainwash pupils and make them vote Labour

      • Kosh103

        Which is an outright lie Steve, but I understand that your tinfoil hat sometimes crushes your tiny brain because it is on so tight.

      • Mully

         Nicely stirred, Steve… Twice just in this comment thread you wound Kosh up…

    • Soettli

      Not to long, was just getting the hang of it….

  • KB

     Apologies Kosh for confusing you with Steve.  Steve, when I had a psychologist assess me during for a job interview, I coated my hat with tin foil.  Don’t know that she appreciated the joke though…

    • Travdog

      But did you get the job?

  • KB


  • LWest

    Am I the only one who thinks that Titirangi might not be a part of West Auckland?  They have their own set of rules for everything and I have personally witnessed two people shudder at the thought of Titirangi being part of West Auckland.  These rules definitely apply as you leave Titirangi but once you hit the village you pretty much give way to Kindy mums and Boy Racers in Celicas and Skylines.  Oh and buses, or they will crush you.  Rubbish trucks however are very friendly around these parts.  Although my neighbours don’t like being called Westies when I got married to someone with West in their name and moved here I instantly started wearing an all black westy ensemble.  True magic of the west.

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  • Soettli

    I’m surprised they didn’t use this for the awareness compaign! Exceptionally clear view of the new rules based on the laws of nature! Love it.

  • Sloanca

    Thanks to Kit Boyes for sharing this, great work!

  • Noodle

    So Whale Oil, do you plan on crediting the person you “borrowed” this post from?