Desecrating an Aria?

NZ Herald

Some people are outraged over the silliest things:

A Mozart aficionado who claimed an ad for a Durex sex product was “desecrating a beautiful aria” has had their complaint dismissed by the Advertising Standards Authority.

The television ad for Durex’s two-in-one sexual lubricant and Play Vibrations sex toy featured a montage of women experiencing sexual pleasure with partners and on their own, set to the Queen of the Night aria from Mozart’s opera The Magic Flute.

The products were shown as a voiceover said: “Durex two-in-one lubricant and Play Vibrations. You’ll hit the right note.”

The ad screened after 9.30pm in the month before Valentine’s Day.

The authority received a number of complaints about the ad, including that it was “verging on pornography”, encouraged sex among young girls, over-emphasised the thrill of sex, and was “desecrating a beautiful aria”.

If you are wanting desecration of Mozart them you can’t go past Lady Gaga and Bad Romance:


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  • Agent BallSack

    Since Mozart was a notorious philanderer and allegedly a syphilitic wreck, I’m sure he would be happy to provide the music for sex products.

    • Your analysis is very wishy-washy and doesn’t stand up to close scrutiny. There have been any number of theories of what killed him and I seriously doubt If any medical expert will ever establish what actually happend to him beyond a reasonable doubt.

      • Agent BallSack

        Of course this conjecture, unless his corpse is disinterred and biopsies performed we will probably never know the true cause of death but:

        Mozart probably died from an infectious illness, having been weakened for months from alcoholism and syphilis.


        Mozart was an immature, sex-crazed, drunken maniac, as depicted by Tom Hulce in the movieAmadeusWell actually, this myth has some basis in fact. Most of us, especially classical music buffs like to think of composers as greater than mere mortals. We put them on a pedestal and idolise them and feel uncomfortable with the thought that they had human faults. It is quite likely that Mozart was quite childlike in many ways, as are many prodigies. A contemporary described him celebrating a performance of an aria from Figaro by “leaping over tables and chairs, meowing like a cat, and turning somersaults like an unruly boy, as he often did in one of his foolish moods”.  


        When Mozart wasn’t writing one of his 600 masterpieces he was writing letters  to his female cousin, the contents of which were usually in a basic rhyme scheme and seriously screwed up. There are tons of snippets to choose from out there, but nothing quite sums up Mozart’s dirtiness as well as when he told his cousin that he wanted to “shit on her nose” and watch it “drip down her chin.”

        The same genius that wrote “Piano Concerto No 24 in C Minor” also wrote a gem called “Lick My Ass,”  a classical party ballad meant to be sung by six people at a time, and followed it up with a sequel called “Lick My Ass Nice and Clean,” the lyrics of which we have included below:Lick my ass nicely,lick it nice and clean,nice and clean, lick my ass.That’s a greasy desire,nicely buttered,like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity.Three will lick more than two,come on, just try it,and lick, lick, lick.Everybody lick his own ass himself. 

      • Agent BallSack

        No need to thank me, just ask if you need any more proof.

    • As someone who does academic research full time (not musc history) I’ve got no intention for thanking you for posting some url’s to article’s that don’t provide academic references to where they got their information. As opposed to this article on Mozart’s medical history which does at least provide references to the sources of the information he uses.

      Re Mozart’s use of coarse language and his sense of humour that has have been common knowledge for 200+ years.

      • Mr_Blobby

        Loosen the belt, watch the clip below and get a life.

  • Petal

    My favourite:  

    Took some training to make it look that easy.

  • Please don’t insult my Mother Monster by including her in a dis on condoms!!! LOL she’d love it!!