Guest Post – Skinner Normanton

In reply to David Garrett, or an essay on why Garrett should not approach his computer when pissed.

Greetings Brothers.

There are a number of reasons why Garrett’s seperate nation wet dream will never happen which I am going to print below. But before I do I am going to share with you the miracle cure to fix Northland and the rest of the country.

Despite the screeching and forced lamentation of the (largely employed by you and I) left wing in this country there are plenty of jobs for almost every able bodied man and woman currently not working.

In the main they will be jobs that they do not want, low paid, mundane, sometimes hard physically but paid employment all the same.

The number one excuse used by the indolent class is that these jobs are predominantly seasonal or temporary and the government has for many years imposed a stand down period which means that whilst you might be offered a three month contract that gets you off the bene, but once the temp contract is over you have to wait three months to get back on the bene.

So. The miracle cure.

Remove the stand down period, allow these citizens to do temp or seasonal work and then get back on the rock n roll straight away.
What about the cost I hear the smarter readers say. And yes, it will cost us more. But, if you can get a full time all year round scrounger into 3 or 4 or 6 months work through the year then that is a period where we might otherwise be paying them to not work.\

The other excuse used is that it is not enough to live on.

Working for families should have made that argument redundant and for those that have not yet knocked up or squeezed out a brat the benefit is pretty skinny anyway so any kind of work will be more than the dole.

Building a work habit is the single most important challenge facing all of us in Little England. Everything else is just bollocks.

Now then brothers, Northland.

A dirtly little secret in NZ is the number of men of  Kiwi Dalmatian descent that spent time “helping” in the Balkans a few years ago during the unpleasantness.
Huge swathes of the Far North were settled by and are still inhabited by people with names ending in ICH. Agreed many of them blended with locals but they are still Dalmatian by temperament and armed to the teeth. They are not blighted by laziness either. Add that to the legions of ex-British special forces nutters in the Bay of Islands and I suspect any attempts to breakaway (bearing in mind I am replying to a nutter and do not for a minute believe the possibility is ever likely to happen) from the rest of the country would end in anything less than a three day bloodbath.

Mr Garrett, I humbly suggest you stick to inciting flame wars on that travel blog you frequent and leave the North alone.

Right now I have put the wee nutter in his place, fixed the unemployment problem and let slip the fact that many kiwis were slaughtering Muslims in the 90’s why don’t we have a go at fixing the degree trained barista problem.

Or not. Maybe tomorrow I will share with you the Skinner Normanton plan to fix the student debt problem.


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  • Johno1234

    That’s a very good case for the relaxation of the stand down period.

    You are both correct that work is available in the highest unemployment catchments of Northland – in forestry as I think Garrett mentioned. Not bad money and good hard healthy outdoor work. 

  • Brian Smaller

    I think you got the wrong end of the stick. The separate nation wet dream was Hone Harawira’s, not Garrett’s. Garrett just gave his vision of what Hone’s reality might look like.

    • David Garrett

       Yes, thanks Brian. It would seem that Mr Normanton is unfamiliar with the notion of “satire”. May I heartily recommend to him the definition of same on p.930 of the Concise Oxford. If he has one.

    • Travdog

      And Skinner didn’t pick up on that at all. Missed the point completely. Funny though.

  • Mark

    The Dalmations up here (yes I am a whitey in Kaitaia) hate the Serbs and did not “slaughter” any Musims in the 90s. However, you are correct that all the “ich”s up here are stroppy buggers who would deal to any Maori who pisses them off.

  • Mark


    • AzaleaB

      can I conclude they neither slaughtered Musims nor Muslims?

      Of interest Musims were identified by David Attenborough to be endangered due to global warming. These creatures look similar to Shearer, another endangered species, and are also known to make strange waffling noises…but can be easily sub classified by the presence of a spine.

  • David Garrett

    And I do thank you for your “humble suggestion” that I save my talents for another blog Mr Normanton. Judging by your writing, I suspect you have much to humble about.

  • Normanton.S Esq

    Satire, you wouldn’t know satire if it was defined on a baby’s birth certificate, wrapped around a brick and forced into yer chocolate start fish

    • Travdog

      You’re not funny Skinner. You just didn’t get it.You took it literally, and made a waste of time “guest post” in response to something you misunderstood to start with. It’s not that he can’t do satire, it’s more the fact that you failed to understand it. That was particularly evident in your need to make it personal. Play the ball, not the man. 

  • Normanton.S Esq

    Travdog, you clearly have no idea who Skinner Normanton is, not a problem. Just try to be less stupid next time.

    • Travdog

      Davids using his real name here, how about you? I’m not either, but then again I’m not making a guest post….. 

  • Mr_Blobby

    1.       Who the fuck is Normanton and why should I care
    2.       You don’t need to deal to all of them just one Family. Chop the head off etc.
    3.       They bread like flies now so don’t give them any more encouragement.

    • Unimpressed

      Skinner Normanton is dead. Some nob who thinks he’s hot shit is using his name to write guest posts here. 

  • Pharmachick

    As far as I’m concerned “Skinner Normanton” or whatever his real name is should just trot off into the wilderness and be quiet.  Even if for no other reason than his bullshit way of addressing this audience… 

    “Greetings brothers”.. 


    pfft sounds a lot like the misogynist bullshit from MUNZ that many of us have been so derisive of lately. Remember “Normanton” half the people on this planet are women, but, uhhh you know, we’re probably too busy being pretty airheads to understand your deep thinking (/sarc).

    • Travdog


      Greetings sister

      I don’t know why Whaleoil even bothered posting this shit. the only person taking this guy seriously is…..himself. 

      Oddly, he displays as much arrogant self importance as Redbaiter, but the direct personality attacking style of ‘those other people’.

      • Pharmachick

        Hey Travdog, 
        okay I was being a bit sanctimonious about the “brothers” thing – wouldn’t want to fall into the realms of a raving feminazi. Still, I’m glad to see I’m not the only one that found this guest post condescending and odd. W/O is probably having a quiet chuckle while rarking up the readers.