Never let the truth get in the way of a good story

Eddie/Mallard at The Standard is writing up a storm about a civil war that simply doesn’t exist and dreaming up factions that are a figment of Eddie’s fevered imagination…or is it Trevor Mallard’s fevered imagination.

Eddie/Mallard believe that the factions are:

  • the Collins faction – socially conservative, the party’s Christian wing, economically pure (ie neoliberal) but not overly strong economically apart from on decreasing government spending;
  • the Brat Pack – socially conservative but also more economically conservative, incrementalists who see the object of politics as being in power, transforming the country gradually, as a glacier carves a valley;
  • the Boag/Key faction – socially liberal, economically neoliberal, old guard, who also want power for the long-run – their next star after Key is Hekia Parata;
  • the Joyce faction – socially liberal, small business mentality that the rules should be bent or discarded when they get in the way, not really ideological economically but probably tending to the libertarian way.

Where to start…The Brat Pack ceased to exist a long time ago. Tony Ryall does his own thing these days, Nick Smith is damaged goods, Roger Sowry left parliament three elections ago leaving Bill English as the last man standing. The Brat Pack was also a creature of Michelle Boag’s but she is about as popular as herpes right now. Bill English fell out with her a long time ago.

Bizarrely Eddie/Mallard suggest that there is a Boag/Key faction…this is specious. John KEy is his own man and not one to fall for the machination of Michelle Boag, even if she continues to claim that it was she and not my old man that recruited John Key to National. There simply isn’t a Boag/Key faction as Eddie/Mallard presumes. If there was then Bill Birch wouldn’t have been dispatched with a message for Boag telling her to wither and die, and to do it quietly, which was delivered last week.

There isn’t even a Collins or a Joyce faction. Again these are largely a figment of Eddies/Mallards imagination.

Anyway the post suggests that Stephen Joyce and Hekia Parata are the dream team to take over from John Key.

There is are several major flaws in that thinking.

Neither is liked by their peers which is more important than the wishes and dreams of Eddie/Mallard. Also both are List MPs. Stephen Joyce won’t stand in an electorate due to his campaign manager duties and Hekia Parata has tried and failed twice to win a seat.

hard working electorate MPs won’t countenance a duopoly of List MPs leading the party. If they can’t win seats then they shouldn’t be leaders.

Like Trevor Mallard, The Standard never lets the truth get in the way of a good story. Basically The Standard exists in a parallel universe inhabited by few others beyond the deluded Trevor Mallard.


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  • Super_Guest

    It sure is cosy under the tinfoil hat.

  • Blubberisaliar

    You and your silent hunting blogging partner forgot.Crusher is screwed.Joyce n Parata is more popular then Crusher n nobody trusts her.

    • Dave

      Blubber   go cry in your own corner whimp.   I have met Parata on several occasions, she is a busy and nice person.   Thats a full stop, nothing more, nothing else.   No real nous or clout, but a nice person.  She will rise slightly up the ranks, and do a great job, but she will not lead the party, national have plenty of true leaders, where credibility is key.

      At least Crusher has the balls to stand up and put her credibility on the line, when has any labour polly had the balls to do that this year.

      Now, back to the distraction and smoke screen you are trying to create.   Where the F..k is any leadership from anyone in the labour party, yup, anyone.  When did anyone from the LP stand up and give a clear credible direction, not just trash others policy/statements and then walk away.

      • Blubberisaliar

        Gnats are divided into four factions, blubberboy and silent blogging hunting parnter are a faction of 2.

      • Super_Guest

        Why do they let mental patients use the computers?

      • Gazzaw

        “she is a busy & nice person”.

        Spot on Dave & there is already recognition of that by a growing number of teachers. She’s smart too & has a genuine empathy for her education portfolio.

        Where does Blubber get the idea that no one trusts her? She has tremendous credibility within the ranks & is liked throughout the House.
        What Blubber doesnt know which appears to be fuck all he makes up.


    •  I hate the school holidays…

  • Pete George

    There could be a reason for this talking up of a National civil war and leadership battle – to distract attention from the real battle that’s simmering?

    Greg Presland is also busy talking it up, and promising that all will be revealed over the next couple of weeks, implying that he and “Eddie” know the “background” to back up their claims.

    Presland is usually one of first to troll me when I post at TS, but he shuts up when I ask a question in return – does he support and have confidence in Labour leadership and David Shearer.

    •  It might also be intended to deflect from the likely service of legal documents on Trevor Mallard, Andrew Little and RNZ any time soon. Mallard’s only defence is to persist in his lies enough that some poor sucker other than Greg Presland might believe him.

  • Blokeintakapuna

    Yep – diversionary tactics to divert attention away from Chicken Little’s & Lame Duck’s legal spanking about to be handed out by Crusher – and to deflect attention away from Labour’s impending leadership coup – it’s only a matter of when, not if…

  • Guest

    Even if any of that was true, at least National has something.  Labour has …. ummm, err, fuck, whatshisname …. you know the grey one …. ah don’t worry, its not important.

  • johnbronkhorst

    Funny…change the names and you actually talking about the Labour party. This is most definately the way they work!..Union factions, gay rights factions, ultra socialist factions and then there is the biggest group (hipkins being one member)…those to stupid to understand even the most basic of governance functions….So please Eddie/Mallard, don’t measure your betters with your own yard stick, else you will continue to come up SHORT.

    •  Ha ha – you’re so right – and besides creating factions is what we all want. Look at them they fit in that box therefore they are…well maybe this week or on this topic.

  • johnbronkhorst

    Has Eddie/Mallard found that american bag man yet???? Statute of limitations must be nearly up by now!!!

  • BJ

    It couldn’t be more untrue. The National Party are the best team players we’ve had in a long time.  
    They all have their own personalities that mixes it up but they’re on the same page.

    • Peter Wilson

      Agreed. Almost like the team on here. There may be differences now and again, but there seems to be the one focus, center right politics is the only way forward – and that’s pretty much unanimous.

  • In Vino Veritas

    The whole post by Eddie is laughable. I think reaonably intelligent readers will understand that the main writers on the Standard are Jim Jones types. And those commenters that don’t post on the Standard for a laugh are the followers. You all know the type: “the FBI are coming, drink the potion everyone”, and they do.

    The funny thing is, if these people did get their socialist nirvana, they’d be the first to be bulldozed into a mass grave by their commissars.

  • Cullen’s Sidekick

    The real question to be answered here is when is my uncle – “David The Sheep Shearer” going to be rolled over? I guess few more opinion polls and if the Labourers don’t get a 5%-7% jump, uncle is history

  • Cullen’s Sidekick

    Whale Oil – Any idea when the 3 News opinion poll will be published? I am very eager to see whether the toxic Greens go up as the Rouge Morgan poll has suggested.

  • Zanzibarthewizard

     Is it true that you are a Dole bludging alleged sickness beneficiary who
    still lives with his mum? Would explain why you have the time to pump
    all this crap out.
    Get a life, a girlfriend and move out of your parents house – oh and a job.

    • Dave

      to whom are you referring Fuckwizard, if you are going t make a point, make it clearly.