And the Clap Capital of New Zealand is…


ESR has released the latest clap figures and the winner…if you want a good hard dose of chlamydia gonorrhea, is Gisborne!

The figures for Chlamydia are a real stand out too for the region at more than double Auckland’s rate.

For gonorrhea they really are the hands down winner…or should that be pants down? It is 356 cases per 100 000 population, over 5-times the estimated national rate.

Hamilton will be pleased with these results too as they have a much lower rate than the slappers of Auckland.

About the only figures where Gisborne can hold its head high is the rates for Genital Warts and Herpes. Auckland cleans out those awards.


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  • Scanner

    Guess that makes Gisborne  the “Clapital” of NZ.

  • Le Sphincter

    I see a connection  with the numbers of young people in an area.

    places full of oldies  are way down the list,  BoP , southern

    • johnopkb

      well duh!

    • johnopkb

      Urban dictionary – 

      1.Sphincter Factor8 thumbs upnoun (slang); An allusion to the Richter Scale which, instead of measuring seismic activity, quantifies the magnitude of undesirable aspects. One of many colloquialisms used to define this magnitude (synonyms: suck-o-meter, dick meter, fail scale, et al).”I give this whole thing a Sphincter Factor of about 9.5!” — ‘Hippy’ (Todd Graff) in The Abyss (film, 1989, dir. James Cameron). Possible origin.

      • Richard B.

        Post of the day already!!!!!

      • Le Sphincter

        Mes amis ….. you are probing too deeply

      • Scanner


        Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport.  

        asks the immigration officer. 

        “German,” she replies.



        “No, just here for a few days.”

      • Rodger T

         Mes amis ….. you are probing too deeply

        I bet you have never said that before  Sphinc.  :  )

  • Blokeintakapuna

    You sure they weren’t refering to the Labour Party’s office in the Capital? It’s certinly filled with pox-riddled obnoxious cunts down there!

  • abjv

    “Hamilton will be pleased with these results too as they have a much lower rate than the slappers of Auckland”  That’s because you don’t catch it off farm animals


    i got the clap – a song by Aldos Snow


    First the V8s,now the Chlymydia title.FFS,Hamilton,how BORING.