There is not much I enjoy about the Olympics and so here are seven techniques to use to change the topic whenever someone wants to bore you shitless talking about the Olympics.
Them: “So-and-so won a bronze medal!”
You: “That’s fascinating. Did you know bronze is composed of roughly 88 percent copper and 12 percent tin? Its melting point is about 1742 degrees Fahrenheit.”
Them: “I wonder how London’s dealing with the Olympics.”
You: “That’s fascinating. More fascinating is how London dealt with World War II aerial bombardment. Working people basically forced their way into the tube stations during the Blitz, where they slept on the platforms.”
Them: “Michael Phelps is amazing. I wonder how he’s gonna do this year.”
You: “That’s fascinating. Elizabeth Phelps, the NYU neuroscientist, has shown you can defuse and even erase fearful memories just by thinking about them in very specific ways.”
Them: “Danny Boyle is directing the Olympics opening ceremony!”
You: “That’s fascinating. He also once directed a short called Alien Love Triangle, which starred ‘Kenneth Branagh, Heather Graham, and Friends‘ Courtney Cox, who plays a male alien in a female body.’ It remains unreleased.”
Them: “In the medal race, I think China’s going to come out ahead.”
You: “That’s fascinating. Speaking of heads, the actress Hedy Lamarr also designed a secret communications system for the American war effort. It relied on frequency-hopping, which is now a key foundational technology for some cell phone networks like Sprint’s.”
Them: “Peter Sagan is a big underdog in the men’s road race. Still, I hope he wins the gold.”
You: “That’s fascinating. Carl Sagan put together a golden record for the Voyager spacecraft, which is about to become the first human made object to leave our frigging solar system. He included whale songs, Beethoven, Chuck Berry, thunder, greetings in a bunch of languages, and 116 images.”
Them: “Some athletes are wearing shoes that were 3D printed by Nike!”
You: “That’s fascinating. These guys 3D printed a gun.”
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