Sledges of the Day

In the House

Trevor Mallard trotted down to the house today to ask Question 7. He had prepped his pals in the gallery…we know this because he kept looking up as he delivered his lines.

He asked 4 questions which when he wrote them he must have thought they were a slam dunk. Unfortunately he forgot that when you ask a question the person you are asking the question of gets to answer.

His little ambush ended up scoring massive own goals leaving the score 4-nil to John Banks and one roasted Duck sitting on the bench:


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  • Phar Lap

     Just brilliant from Banks,his answers to the guy from Heineken fame,a loud mouthed blouse named Mallard.Banks answers  indict the Lie-bour Party as a bunch of conniving thugs,crooks and tramps.Well done John Banks your replies to the loud mouth blouse Mallard,should be entered in the hall of fame for posterity. Seems it was more than an own goal for Mallard,the whole roof fell on his boofhead.

    • Troy

      Mallard is just a creep – looks it, talks like a creep, acts like a creep – but alas, the labour supporters love him – that’s even more creepier.  I wish Mallard would just shut the fuck up and seriously earn the money we pay him – but alas, the labour supporters seem to relate to how nasty he is – nasty vermin they are.

    • Guest

      Yeah, and Banks should have said 

      “Charter schools will teach values like self-control, so people don’t grow up to abuse privileged environments like Parliament by physically attacking their colleagues”


      “History will be taught in charter schools, where students will compare notes on which MPs have been in the dock to plead on charges, such as Mr Mallard for assault, or that other well known Labour MP Phillip Field, who treated immigrants like slaves”

  • pidge

    Ah, “Judge not lest thee be judged”

  • petal

    I know you think me a wet snotty tissue on this Cam, but I can’t help but think “How did that benefit New Zealand?”  We are paying for New Zealand’s puerile debating club?  Is this 7 Days – Parliament edition?  Oh well.  

    I honestly don’t know how Lockwood does that job sometimes.  

    • Blokeintakapuna

      Totally agree Petal.

      Fantastic job by Banks to have Mallard swap feet so many times in Parliament – great job.. BUT…

      Is this really the process NZ must go through to secure amendments and new laws? Seriously? How entirely embarrassing for NZ Inc!

      If so, the entire process must be changed – not only to get better, reasoned, quicker outcomes for NZ Inc – but also so the public can hold our MP’s to account for their results achieved in Parliament.

      This episode is like a grown-up version of kindergarten or as Petal says – like a 7 days show – except without the friendly banter… and credible participants.

      NZ wants and needs our MP’s to spend more time being effective and productive – Mallard attempting to fling bull shit and then having the bovine excrement blowback into his face and all over his comrades – whilst making them smell and look better perhaps, maybe even overpower the whiffy taint of corruption briefly – this kind of behaviour is not a great use of MP’s time – especially at over $100K + per person x 121 = plenty of room for improvement!

      Surely in today’s age of maximising productivity, it’s about time our Parliamentary processes and the productivity of MP’s were independantly examined for any improvements?

      Improvement committee could be made up by WO, Bob Jones and Mark Ellis – that would soon sort them out and help get NZ law making back on track.

    • beanyboy

      I agree. Good on John Banks for the response, but seriously what did that achieve? The questions where not even serious. Maybe we should bill Mallard for the wasted time..

    • Cremaster

      So who do you propose should decide what our elected representatives are allowed to discuss in the debating chamber?

    • Travis Poulson

      No you’re right, the time spent on shenanigans could be put to better use elsewhere. Half the time (or maybe more?) Dr Smith is the only one doing his job properly. 

  • Johnny T

    One of the best segments I’ve seen from parliament in a long time. Poor old Trev owned yet again.

  • Owl

    This is truly embarrassing

  • Rodger T

    These fuckwits are running the country,we are Fucked.

    • Fozzie

       Yes !

  • Pukakidon

    Mallard needs to learn that he is no good in a battle of wits. He is always totally unarmed.  

    • davewin

       The first four words of your answer are so correct. And he has learned nothing since I heard him speak the first time in Mangakino in 1983 when standing for the Labour nomination against Noel Scott. He lost the local vote in a landslide, but very nearly won because he had stitched up the voters of the apparatchiks. He was nasty the, nasty in Government, and is living proof the leopard never changes his spots.

  • Joe Bloggs

    Lovely stuff 

    Incidentally I see that our resident troll Le Haemorrhoid hasn’t received orders to ride to the defence of Mallard – signs perhaps that the coterie of invisible men at Willis Street are not prepared to support  Mallard, and are happy to hang him out to dry…

  • Phar Lap

    To think on tonights news the Lie-bour Party Channel TVNZ had the audacity to depict Clownhead Mallard as the good guy ,and John Banks as the not so good.Time to fire TVNZ board and get some truth in the Left of  Left TVNZ news reporting. To think that guy with the arse about name Corrin Dan gets paid for such dribble,even more than the Lie-bour   Party     bloodsuckers they always fly a flag for.

    • Gravedodger

      Don’t watch it Pha Lap, no viewers, no advertisers, no news,  the last has been operative  for years,

  • Notrotsky

    A pox on all their houses, fucktards and troughers all.

  • Mully

    God, it’s like a fricken playcentre

    • Lindsay Addie

      Take out the word ‘like’ from your statement……

  • Whafe

    A total circus, am embarrassment to all of us hard working individuals, don’t forget we pay these toddlers, they are sucking off of our robbed taxes. It makes me sick…

    Mallards smarmy grin, smile whatever needs to be removed….

  • Mediaan

    Mallard wastes parliamentary time with these attempted comedic shows too often. It’s years since he did any real work.

    It is said the institution of parliament costs more than $60,000 per minute. We pay.

    Six minutes of this, bill Mallard. Add exemplary damages for bringing our parliament into disrespect. Call it $460,000 and deduct it from his pension entitlements.

  • Dave

    Lets face the truth here.  Mallard is rooted.   Would you really send your brightest star to Invers ……..   Ah, NO.   You would ask them to buy a house in central Auckland, keep their head down, and settle down.  Oops, can someone tell Cindy to STFU about housing affordability.   The Labour party really are screwed aren’t they!!

  • Mrbadger

    For fucks sake, why are we, as tax payers fundinding those muppets to carry on like that. Stop wasting our time and do something useful.