Busting your Balls

The Telegraph

Blokes…take care of your testicles…apart from being revolting  those skinny hipster style jeans are hurting your nads:

Medical experts, including Dr Hilary Jones, have reported an increase in injuries being caused by the jeans, which are favoured by celebs such as Russell Brand, Jude Law and Joey Essex.

The trendy denims are causing twisted testicles, bladder weakness and even urinary tract infections.

Low sperm count and fungal infections are also being put down to the tight-fitting jeans.

Yesterday Dr Jones, who is working with TENA on a project to highlight the dangers, said: ”I have seen several cases of men who have twisted their testicles due to wearing jeans that are far too tight.

”My advice would be to make sure you leave plenty of room around the groin area and that your pants and trousers feel comfortable so you’re not being restricted in any way.

”Men who wear tight or ill-fitting trousers, or underwear which is restrictive around the groin area could be damaging their health.

”Wearing tight-fitting clothing over a prolonged period of time can lead to urinary tract infections leading to over-activity of the bladder – a type of bladder weakness as well as a low sperm count and fungal infections.

”Please don’t put style before health.”


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  • Redneck

    If there was anyone on this Earth who could personify the crass, boorish hedonistic junk-culture that has overwhelmed Britain, Russell Brand would be it.

    • Vlad

      This is the miserable tool who, live on radio,  left a deeply insulting message on aged actor Andrew Sach’s phone claiming he had screwed his grand-daughter.  And thought it was funny.  As well as being a spiteful, ugly, excuse of a human being he is a useless actor and a one-joke comedian.  On the off-chance he has balls inside those jeans, it would be a triumph of Darwinism if the crush prevented him from reproducing.  In other words, I agree with Redneck.

  • TravisPoulson

    You only need to go as far as an Auckland cafe to see one of these poofs. Even the straight guys dress like homo’s these days. Sigh. 

    • Pokerface

      I think you’re right. My first thought was -“those are girls jeans”. No wonder he looks so pissed off, his girlfriend got up first and took HIS clothes.

      • Pukakidon

         Those boots he is wearing look like woman’s as well. The guy is a poor excuse for a man.

  • Rodger T

    Probably a blessing in disguise if these fuckwits are unable to breed.

    • Mully

       Exactly my thought – it’s almost Darwinian…

  • Razorlips81

    I sometimes wonder if “men” have any bloody balls these days.

  • Steve (North Shore)

    I guess this applies to Women with balls as well?

  • stevador

    just imagine WO in a pair of those ultra-skinny jeans with his new boots :swoon:

  • farmboy

    i fer 1 think russel brands a good laugh by the way he’s been with twice as many woman as all of us put together plus some

    • TravisPoulson

      I’m happy with pulling not near as many women and not looking like a poofter in girls jeans.

  • farmboy

    dont lie dude you would trade it all in to be rich and famous and if that meant chucking on a pair of tightass jeans you would

    • TravisPoulson


      • stevador


      • TravisPoulson

        Cheers for the offer stevador, but I’ve got a mrs. 

        The right man will be out there, keep looking.

  • No one bar teenagers suits the skinny jean – men look pathetic & in need of a good kick up their no arse & for women it merely shows their flaws (no arse) or makes a mockery of their assets(j-lo butt does not look good).

    The other side of this equation is that fact that too many adults are wearing teenage fashions – and I just don’t get why. Why on earth would an adult want to be seen in teenage get-up? Why would a parent not want to distinguish their wardrobe from that of their child’s?

    Perhaps it is all explained by the rapid growth that is generation me which seems determined to push maturity back a decade.

  • Dr Wang

    Yeah we all know Russell Brand has weak bladder, twisted testicles, urinary tract infections, low sperm count and fungal infections..all in some part due to his wearing girls’ jeans, but (the elephant in the room) they also make his stupid squeaky voice 2 octaves higher that it would be otherwise be, in fact higher pitched than any other post-pubescent male on the planet.

  • GregM

    What the fuck is wrong with men nowadays? Look at the state of him, with those moobs if he had a shave he’d look like a chick.

    • TravisPoulson

      That’s no man Greg. 

    • SteveOves

      Greg you know as well as I do that unfortunately that’s the way things are with men now a day’s. I remember doing bar duty with you at the “Wets” and all the young sailors where their, no wrens, and a they had horrible jeans on, with tight pastel shirts on, gave the puss a bad name! 

      • GregM

         Yep, that’s true Oves, but because we were senior to them at least we could tell them that they looked like a front bum. Heh! happy days.