The Male Pill

I just do not think this is going to catch on somehow.

A version of ”the pill” for men is a step closer thanks to new research.

A compound called JQ1, which was originally developed as a cancer therapy, can also cause reversible infertility in male mice without apparent side effects for the rodents or their offspring, researchers have found.

While admirable for effort, can you imagine the feral breeders of South Auckland politely and voluntarily popping a male contraceptive pill each day before spraying their seed over the neighbourhood for more children they can never afford?

Imagine it, in the alley behind the pub…up against the dumpster.

“Bro, are you on da pill”


“Choooice, juss chuck it in bro

These ferals can hardly remember to pay make their payments on HP, their car, the rent even…much less remember to take a small insignificant pill every morning without ever forgetting.


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  • Scanner

    Great idea, lets get it delivered to NZ Brewery in the 200 litre drum straight away, they can mix it with Lion Red and it sould reach the group that it will do the most good pretty much instantly.

    • JohnO1234

      How about a sterilisation incentive – a year’s supply of DB? That would pay for itself many times over.

      • Scanner

        Based on the performance and track record in dealing with the Treaty process do you think they would uphold their end of the deal, somehow I think they would just drink the beer and carry on the rooting as before and claim it was just another trick by whitey to steal their birthright.

        • John1234

          Evidence of sterilisation required before qualifying for DB allocation.

          • Scanner

            Sir, I like your style, have you considered a career in politics.

  • Callum

    Forget the pregnancies, what about the diseases?

    • maninblack

      that only effects the careless individual..
      how ever having a baby effects the greater society..

      • Jimmie

        Really? So who pays for their health treatments etc.?

    • Scanner

      The disease is good it’s serving as backup to the ones that miss on the first round of treatment administered via their beer.


    This is every bad scifi movie rolled up into one pill.

  • Random66

    No female with any commonsense would ever rely on a male to remember to take the pill everyday (at the same time), unless he was going to have to carry the consequence for 9 months and then give birth. Nope, never, not gonna happen.

    • Callum

      I would never trust a female to remember either, plus with disease risk your an idiot not to use condoms.
      I found the comments on stuff the other day amusing, had some women saying guys would lie about it when picking up girls in Courtney Place on a Friday night. Why the hell would you touch anything you pick up on Courtney Place without double wrapping????

      • Sarrs

        Totally right, wrap it before you tap it boys, chlamydia isn’t sexy. I see it as a team effort – I take the pill to stop accidental babies and he wears a condom to stop accidental chlamydia. We’re like sex Planeteers, whose powers combine to maximise disposable income.

      • Random66

        Agree that if everyone took personal
        responsibility then any unwanted surprises are less likely. We had a friend recently who when a
        relationship was over had the female party say she was pregnant. Everyone used contraception so it was an
        unwanted surprise for him and he had his suspicions that she was telling the
        truth. He couldn’t believe that he
        wasn’t entitled to know the pregnancy lab result unless she gave him permission
        and how he really had no say in anything.
        Thankfully she wasn’t pregnant but it certainly showed us how vulnerable
        a male can be as well.

  • Bonanza

    I think a valid use is to protect the male. There is a small failure rate when using protection, even if you assume the woman is particular about taking the pill. When there is a pregnancy, the woman has the final say on whether to go ahead. The man then has to pay for a choice he has little say in. (Apart from the initial act of course). The male pill in conjunction with other forms of protection would reduce the failure rate further.
    Anyway a large population of muppets makes it easier for our children to complete. And who would KFC sell their fatty chicken to?

  • Ratchet

    The sad truth is that the people who most need to use contraception are the ones least likely to do so…..

  • Neil

    I’m sure the ladies are going to trust a guy with this……”Don’t worry dear I’m on the pill…..” Tui moment….!!

  • Mark

    I agree,will never catch on.Men & society need to protect themselves,men by using condoms & as soon as they are sure they do not want children by getting a vasectomy.Society needs to protect itself by offering incentives to use birth control to both males & females.Make those incentives as good as needed to stop people having kids they cannot afford,want or care for.Children are too important to be treated the way we treat them now.

  • Dr Wang

    Smart guys will be taking it anyway (whether they let on or not) – unless they don’t mind financing any surprise sprogs.