Lucky it wasn’t electric

I hope eel be alright:

A man sought emergency treatment at hospital in Auckland this week with an eel stuck up his bottom.

The unnamed individual presented himself at the A&E department at Auckland City Hospital to explain his embarrassing problem.

It is believed the patient was sent for X-rays and a scan, which showed there was an eel lodged inside him.

“The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place,” a hospital source said. “Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that have got stuck where they shouldn’t be before, but an eel has to be a first.”

It is unclear how the eel managed to be trapped inside the man. It is believed medics successfully removed it and the man was later discharged.

A hospital spokesman last night confirmed the bizarre incident had taken place.

“In response to a direct query from the Herald on Sunday, we can confirm that an adult male presented at Auckland City Hospital this week with an eel inside him,” Matt Rogers, spokesman for Auckland District Health Board, said.

Pity there isn’t a photo we can caption…oh well nevermind, we can pretend there is:

“I was taking a crap in my fishtank, and all of a sudden…”

NZ unanimously declares EelMan to be an Australian forthwith

One man and his eel means months of carefully planned 100% Middle Earth advertising for NZ is wrecked. On the bonus side, hordes of German and Dutch men book tickets to NZ to explore eeling.

NZ’s entrant in the global arse-fishing contest has been found

Matt Watson from ITM Fishing declares “game over, you win”

“Rectum? Damn near killed him”


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  • Travis Poulson

    I bet someone told him (who is probably still pissing themselves laughing right now) that it would produce an erotic sensation to shove a live eel up his arse.

    A huge high-five to whoever told him that (if that was the case). Stupid people like this were put on earth to entertain the rest of us.

  • Guest

    Colin Craig issues press release on the evils of eel fishing.

    Time to break out that Elton John love song – “Can you eel the love tonight?”
    Famous NZ blog commentator Redbaiter wanted to know if it was a male or female eel, because, you know, he can’t stand homosexual depravity.

  • Mitch82

    I spat coffee all over my keyboard laughing at this – bastards.

  • Pink Samurai

    Uncivil union . Certainly not a man/woman scenario . Can these guy’s be TRUSTED to bring up children ?

  • Bob

    Should be reported to the SPCA. If that’s not cruelty to an animal, what is?

  • Bob

    The pet shop boys are now cruisin’ the stream scene.

  • BR

    What a man and his eel get up to in the privacy of their own home is none of anybody’s business.

    He should have to pay his own medical costs though.


  • Mike

    Went to Kelly Tarlton’s…..nek minnit

  • Pita

    A new slant on felching…I guess it beats a gerbil for comfort…

  • Patrick

    The man should be given a medal – how the hell do you convince an eel that your “hershey highway” is an attractive place to while away the hours?

    • Travis Poulson

      The eel should be given a medal. Forced against it’s will up an arse hole.

  • Steve (North Shore)

    It’s a ‘Taniwha’

  • Bunswalla

    This is the inevitable consequence of WO’s championing of the rights of gays to marry. It was only a matter of time.

  • Hagues

    Smells like fish, tastes like crap.