Shearer & The Guitar Gimmick

Taking a leaf out of Labour Party Chief Strategist Trevor Mallard’s book in wearing lycra to get attention, David Cunliffe with the beard and Parekura Horomia eating pies, David Shearer is resorting to strumming a guitar. On the plus side when Shearer is on the guitar he is not ughmming and aghing through interviews. Another plus is unlike Mallard thankfully Shearer is fully clothed in looser fit pants while exercising the gimmick.

“When in doubt, the guitar comes out” is now the Shearer motto.

With Labour Party coffers still in tatters Shearer may next be busking down Lambton Quay at lunchtimes to raise funds.

Beware the gimmick, like Mallard and the cycling, Cunliffe and the beard and Parekura and the pies, Shearer may only be wanted in attendance if he shuts his mouth and strums. The guitar is over-shadowing his message because he has no message. He looks like the socially awkward guy who hides behinds the guitar at a party in an attempt to be popular because he cannot actually talk to the chicks.


Mallard will quit the cycling the same time Parekura quits the pies, but Cunliffe did shave off his beard as he realised it was becoming more strategically prominent than he was. All men with beards have something to hide.

Will Shearer put away the guitar?

We know he is serious about becoming Prime Minister when he does.