Shearer & The Guitar Gimmick

Taking a leaf out of Labour Party Chief Strategist Trevor Mallard’s book in wearing lycra to get attention, David Cunliffe with the beard and Parekura Horomia eating pies, David Shearer is resorting to strumming a guitar. On the plus side when Shearer is on the guitar he is not ughmming and aghing through interviews. Another plus is unlike Mallard thankfully Shearer is fully clothed in looser fit pants while exercising the gimmick.

“When in doubt, the guitar comes out” is now the Shearer motto.

With Labour Party coffers still in tatters Shearer may next be busking down Lambton Quay at lunchtimes to raise funds.

Beware the gimmick, like Mallard and the cycling, Cunliffe and the beard and Parekura and the pies, Shearer may only be wanted in attendance if he shuts his mouth and strums. The guitar is over-shadowing his message because he has no message. He looks like the socially awkward guy who hides behinds the guitar at a party in an attempt to be popular because he cannot actually talk to the chicks.


Mallard will quit the cycling the same time Parekura quits the pies, but Cunliffe did shave off his beard as he realised it was becoming more strategically prominent than he was. All men with beards have something to hide.

Will Shearer put away the guitar?

We know he is serious about becoming Prime Minister when he does.



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  • nasska

    A few rounds of Kumbayah could do much to promote peace & togetherness in caucus.

  • Mr Sackunkrak

    Can’t quite see the hat on the ground, but being unable to pass retrospective validating legislation now-a-days, Labour fund-raising sinks to a new low.

  • Dr Wang

    David’s problem is that he appears to only know one tune – every single time he plays a guitar for these tortuous contrived media photo ops it’s always the same bloody song, “Classical Gas”.

    Shearer is the classical “one trick pony”.

  • David

    Is Shearer going for the Hippie guitar singing voters?

  • Cadwallader

    He looks like he fell out of Willie Nelson’s arse.

  • blazer

    well Sleepy McCully shaved off his mo…and Tony Ryall plays the blue veined flute ,doesn’t he?

    • starboard

      next up will be yet another tour of the provinces to ‘reconnect’ with the voters singing “take me home country road”…same ole same from the washed up has beens.

  • Jimmie

    Its quite apt really. The guitar analogy shows that Shearer is seriously out of tune and his message is really flat.

    Labour has no rhythm and they are sadly off key.

    The best thing Shearer could do with his guitar is take it to his caucus meeting and bash his front bench senseless with it for being a bunch of irrelevant morons – now that would be some serious guitar work

  • Lion_ess
  • Jester

    I understand they have now solved the irritating h-ummms occuring in Wellington. It was Shearer comtemplating which front bum to knife to get JT back into the fold.

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Whale Oil and the Tories – Laugh as much as you want. But my leader Sheep is not laughing with you. He is on to become the PM of NZ In 2014. The Rouge Morgan poll is out today and that is not good news for Emperor and his cronies. Unless John Key gets his act together, he is toast.

    Today’s New Zealand Roy Morgan Poll
    shows a fall in support for Prime Minister John Key’s National Party to
    41.5% (down 2% since September 10-23, 2012) — this is the lowest support
    for National since John Key won Government at the 2008 New Zealand
    Election. Support for Key’s Coalition partners has changed with the
    Maori Party 1.5% (down 1%), ACT NZ 0.5% (unchanged) and United Future
    0.5% (up 0.5%).

    Support for Labour is 33.5% (up 0.5%); Greens
    are 13.5% (up 2%), New Zealand First 6.5% (up 1.5%), Mana Party 0% (down
    1.5%), Conservative Party of NZ 2% (unchanged) and Others 0.5%

    a National Election were held today this New Zealand Roy Morgan Poll
    says a combined opposition of Labour/ Greens & New Zealand First
    would be favoured to form a new Government.

    R.I.P – Emperor and his brainless cronies who cannot get their act together.

    • parorchestia

      And I would be on the first plane to Aus. NZ would be stuffed.
      Hey, ShShShearer could put a tin at his feet and busk to help the shattered Liebour finances (or just print money).

    • ZOLTAN


  • toby_toby

    Shearer’s guitar gimmick just makes him look like a sad old man who is out of touch and desperate to look ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ to the ‘kids’.

  • Meg

    Sigh. I swear that you lot on the right bitch and moan about every single thing anyone on the left does be it a personal thing or a political thing.

    John Key dances like a clown and the right clap like seals, Trevor rides a bike and you lot act as if he is eating babies.

    Get a life. All you are doing is trying to divert attention away from the awful job Key has done in regards to Dotcom, the disaster that is National education policy, economic policy, social policy etc…

    • Lion_ess

      John Key takes the piss out of himself when captured in silly photo-ops, he doesn’t pretend this is his normal behaviour when he is not being Prime Minister.

      • Meg

        Any proof that Trev riding a bike for his personal enjoyment is not normal behavior for him?

        No, of cause not, because it is and the right are just being their usual nasty selves.

        • Lion_ess

          I was referring to dithering Dave as per the headline. By the way I find it funny that you answer your own questions.

        • starboard

          ” usual nasty selves “..pot meet kettle, remember liarbor are the nasty party, full of bile, bitterness, faggots and corruption.

    • Troy

      Difference is that Mallard is a fucking goat’s cock, nobody likes him, he wants everyone to like him, most don’t.

    • Anon

      You haven’t seen Trevor parading in a pair of bike shorts have you Meg?
      As a woman after seeing it once I would prefer he did eat babies instead.