What a load of rubbish

Look at this crap from the Herald about a hunter who got lost in the Urewera Ranges:

Having been faced with the prospect of drinking his own urine to stay alive, a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs never tasted so good for Desmond Kuik.

The 42-year-old hunter was rescued yesterday afternoon having spending three freezing nights lost in the dense bush of Urewera National Park in the central North Island.

 …”Unfortunately the weather became nasty and the day was getting dark quickly and I couldn’t make my way back to the hut.”

It was freezing cold that night and the only shelter he could find was a pig hole, just large enough to fit him.

“That was the worst night because it was very cold – zero degrees – and there was a hail storm.”

To try and stay warm he urinated into a plastic packet he had in his backpack and used it like a hot water bottle.

His rations consisted of one chocolate bar a day and very limited water. He had contemplated drinking his urine if he didn’t find a water source soon.

“At the end of the day I had no choice and if I was short of water that would be my last drink,” he said.

Couldn’t find a water source? What! Is he blind as well as stupid? One thing the Ureweras is not ever short of, is water.

Finding water in the Ureweras is easy…head downhill until you hit the stream/river…then drink. What does he think the pigs drink?

According to one news report he was in Kouanui Hut in the Waimana valley at one stage…you know…where the Waimana River flows through.


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • conwaycaptain

    A candidate for the Darwin Awards

  • cows4me

    “what does he think pigs drink”, all sorts, you never been to a police bar?

  • Goldie

    Well, the headline is accurate: “Lost hunter: ‘I should have stayed where I was’.

  • trisha

    “blind…. stupid” and un experienced…..
    wonder what he really was doing there.

  • trisha

    ” He had contemplated drinking his urine if he didn’t find a water source soon.”

    thats the statement that did it for us nani’s ….one nani is still on the floor laughing her ars off.

  • Sir Cullen’s Sidekick

    Fit to be in Sheep’s 2014 cabinet……

  • Scanner

    Having finished off a good drink of his own piss it’s good thing he didn’t get hungry, it sort of make the mind boggle as to what he may have eaten, perhaps this bloke has some issues.

  • Name

    Just stop in to Tama iti’s, he would be more then happy to supply you with food and water. And the police would pick you up 10 minutes later, so its a win win!

  • anonymouse

    This guy’s bushcraft must really suck,

    He got lost twice, first after one hour, Then after a night outside he found a hut (with a great potbelly stove- http://www.naturespic.com/i/28219FS00_w.jpg) AND a MAP.

    He then proceeds to leave the hut on some quest to hook up with his mates and gets lost again,-

    After leaving Kouanui Hut, he should have just followed the track back to the roadend, where his car was….

    He says next time he will take an emergency locator beacon, (presumably so he can be rescued quicker, what a lazy sod) – what he should do is take a map compass and GPS and learn how to use them (so he can rescue himself)

  • thor42

    Complete bloody idiot!

  • Steve (North Shore)

    I suggest he reads “Harry Wakatipu” If a mad horse can live out there, anyone can

  • Steve (North Shore)

    Some people have a compass in their head, and some don’t. This guy should stay home with his mum

  • pukakidon

    Gave himself a blow job because he couldn’t find his partner. This guy is probably a sandle wearing metrosexual originating from Auckland.

  • Obviously he has been watching Bear Grylls, who seems every episode to say something like “a cloud has blocked the sun; time to drink my urine”.

  • Gazzaw

    Probably a graduate from the Tama Iti Training School.

  • Patrickm

    It is all a big publicity stunt, next he will have a 6 page spread in the Horrid, Womens Weekly, North & South, etc etc. The reality is he went home to bed every night. Don’t be fooled by this interloper or the stupid journalist falling over themselves to deliver the survival story to beat any Readers Digest “I shouldn’t be alive”. Utter Utter bullshit I say