Labour Party strategy is to annihilate the Greens

The man with the industrial strength stomach, David Farrar, has had the fortitude to read through the Labour Party’s policy remits to be debated at their national conference.

It seems the grass-roots Labour movement is so bereft of ideas, they’re having a go at the Greens:

  • Nationalisation of any partially sold assets
  • A financial transactions tax
  • Require all private boards to comply with a 50% gender quota within five years
  • A universal child benefit so millionaires get paid money for having kids
  • 52 weeks paid parental leave (why stop there – go for 18 years I say!)
  • Lower the voting age to 16
  • A gender quota for the House of Representatives (why not a race and sexual orientation quota also!)
  • Compulsory Te Reo Maori until age 15
  • End all funding of private schools (which ironically will force them all to be integrated and go from 25% funding to 100%)
  • Bring ban the food police to school tuckshops
  • Ban seabed mining for minerals oil and gas
  • Ban fracking
  • A tax on aquaculture
  • Ban all coal mining
  • A mineral exports tax
  • Ban plastic bags
  • Fund a brand new commercial free TV broadcaster
  • Fund a Pacific TV broadcaster
  • A Super Gold card for transport for under 21s
  • A rail link to the airport for Auckland (think how much taxes will be gong up to pay for all of this)
  • A petrol tax to fund rail
  • Set up a state owned insurance company to compete with private insurers
  • De facto compulsory unionism by forcing all employees to “contribute to the benefits of enterprise and multi-enterprise bargaining”
  • Turn contractors into employees
  • Reverse employment law changes and destroy NZ as a location for international film making
  • Ban companies that do not pay a “living wage” (which is much higher than the minimum wage) from winning government contracts
  • Compulsory worker representation on large company boards
  • Direct Kiwirail as to whom must win their tenders
  • restore the social obligation to the SOE Act (despite the fact they were never repealed!)
  • Insert the Treaty of Waitangi into the Constitution Act
  • Raise the age of Super to 67 – except for Maori!
  • That the Government should create state owned and managed retirement homes
  • That all single benefits be increased by $50 a week!!!
  • That any NGO receiving even minimal government funding be required to have a 50% gender quota on its governing board!
  • Bring back compulsory membership of student associations

As Farrar notes, none of these are official Labour Party policy yet, but you can see where they’re coming from and where they’re going.

All of it can be summed up as this strategy:

  1. Ban or tax
  2. Give money (we don’t have) away
  3. Use force because “it’s the right thing to do”.

The Labour Party really are rudderless.  Mind you, judging by the last few months, some of  their policies change weekly.


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  • maninblack

    those policy ideas must be a joke.. no one would ever propose those seriously??

    • Troy

      Seems the strategy folk in the Labour party are intent on imploding the entire organisation. As far as the leadership goes, Mark Mitchell stated it quite well today when in the general debate about Shearer said “it’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys”… that sums up the Labour Party, they will shoot down Shearer and replace him with a turkey… Labour— the gift that just keeps on giving.

  • Travis Poulson

    I didn’t get past the title before I started laughing.


    Does that mean they’re finally going to publicise their own ideas before the Greens do?

    • Macca

      LOL! Yeah Trav – they are obviously also making a play for the loopy vote!

  • Mediaan

    Scary stuff, those remits.

    And the Rainbow doing the decor and food design, so I hear beetroot salad is on the menu for Saturday lunch. Just to be sure everybody has a purple shirt on Saturday night.

  • Sooty

    They are going to be the next goverment. YEAH, RIGHT.

  • Gazzaw

    Aside from the taxation proposals I am struggling to find a remit that will actually contribute cash to the national coffers.

    • Macca

      Sort of like the same one they had during their 9 years of piggy backing off the world economy? Sorry Gazzaw but I reckon we’ll all be waiting a long time to see such a remit as that.

  • Sarrs

    Argh…it might grub a few votes here and there but not a single one of those policies address the economy or how to improve it.

    • Dave

      Does Labour realise we have an economy. or do they still believe we can just Print more money.

  • niggly

    What’s the bet the MSM will ignore the majority of loopy ideas and promote one or two of the so called “good ideas”?
    Contrast if this was a National Conference, with Nat activists proposing a few radical ideas in amongst a number of sensible ideas, the MSM would instead ignore the sensible ideas and shriek loudly about the radical ideas!

  • Tristanb

    When David Shearer was dodging bullets and rescuing children in the UN he faced many life threatening situations. One was worse than all the others. The land mines, armed militia, tropical disease? They were nothing.

    David’s worst fear, and the greatest threat to his life, was the plastic bag. Thousands of innocent people have their lives torn apart by plastic bags every day. He recalls visiting a hospital that contained a ward of 60 beds, all for plastic bag related injuries – some people never left that hospital alive.

    Since then, David has vowed to make plastic bags a thing of the past. That’s why he accepted the job as leader of Labour – he’d be in a position to get these dangerous hazards out of NZ, and make the world a better, a plastic-bagless, place to live in. He does this for the sake of us, our children and our children’s children.

    BAN PLASTIC BAGS! It’s going to be Labour’s new slogan for the election.

    For legal purposes, I have to write I have taken some artistic licence with a few facts in the above story. I write this as clarification:

    Shearer didn’t really do much when working for the UN, mostly some office time with lots of holidays and travel overseas. The only mine sweeping he did was when he was bored of Windows Solitaire. He stayed safe from disease by avoiding the locals, and staying in his air conditioned office, unless he was in the swimming pool. He does genuinely hate plastic bags though.)

  • Vlad

    Let it happen. A lurch to the left by Labour, votes siphoned from the Greens, the last moderate Labour voters run screaming to the National Party… absent the arrival of a vote-worthy partner for National, the best available scenario for the re-election of a Key government.

    • thor42

      Hopefully John Ansell’s anti-Treaty party (“Colourblind NZ” or whatever it’ll be called) will get up and running soon.

      It wouldn’t surprise me if that managed to get 5% of the vote. If you have (say) 1.2 million votes cast, then 5% of that is only 60,000. It’s a challenge, sure, but definitely possible. Heck, 36,000 have already signed the “equal rights” petition here –

      Those people (and I am one of them) would be prime
      potential “Colourblind NZ” voters.

      Ansell (or one of his mates) should look at standing in Epsom against John Banks. Epsom is right-leaning blue-ribbon territory and the locals are probably a bit peeved with Banksie, so the race is **wide open**in that electorate.

      • Vlad

        I kind of agree with you thor42, but the right needs to learn from Russel Norman, who is presenting himself as the leader of a thoughtful, don’t frighten the horses, left party, when reality he is a rabid socialist with policy ambitions that would destroy NZ. The motto is first get votes. Zealots are frightening and Ansell as well as Colin Craig present as zealots.

  • Phar Lap

    To really piss the RED/”greens” off the ratbag Lie-bour Party should have a remit,that any party who put up their list MPS, should have to have a NZ Passport ,for at least ten years.The RED/”greens” seem to get away with their list MPS,some of them wetbacks,with the ink not quite dry on their NZ Passports.Eg Norman,and the Yankee bucket mouth Venter providing they even hold a NZ Passport.After all the whole of NZ could be in the grip of Five year NZ Passport holders,all wetbacks.Just imagine they could hold the balance of power, for all the wrong self serving reasons.Here is Lie-bours opportunity,seems KEY AND CO ARE “ASLEEP” AT THE WHEEL.

  • thor42

    **Insane.** Absolutely insane.

    If Labour babble on about people leaving for Australia now, I can guarantee you that the numbers will at least DOUBLE under policies like this.

    They have learned absolutely **nothing** from the plunge of Greece into the debt abyss. These policies (if, perish the thought, Labour get in and implement them) will send New Zealand the same way.

    A reasonably intelligent 15-year-old would have more economic knowledge and sense than Labour’s MPs and voters combined.

  • sheppy

    Guess it makes a change from their usual “we didn’t think of it first so we don’t support it”

  • Pissedoffyouth

    Its not what New Zealand can do for you, its what you can do for New Zealand. I live by this saying and try as hard as I can to do right for godzone.

    I support taxation and government, to an extent. But where are the policies to give me an incentive to not fuck off to Oz and earn a crapload more?

    I’m exactly the type of person that they bleat on about leaving to Australia – young, with no children and skilled.

    It really feels like I’m unwanted in this country – almost spat on by the left.

    “Earning >$60,000? You are a rich prick! How dare you push yourself above everyone else – you are a 1%, white motherfucker. Why should you have more then me?”.

    On the other hand, “You didn’t want to learn at school, ignored all advice about contraception and youth drinking but your pregnant at 14? Poor bub, here, have some money. Whats that? you spent all your money on cigarettes and booze? Don’t worry, I’ll give your son a feed – its not your fault!. You don’t brush your teeth? Thats ok, We’ll give you some new ones – those rich pricks have money that gets printed off through a hole in the wall”.

    This entire list just makes me so angry.

  • A rail link to Auckland Airport would be a huge waste of money and resources! Let me count the ways:

    1)Unless there is a train going each way every hour on a single track that may be able to be squeezed into the current passage (which makes the link pointless for a start) there will need to be two train tracks for frequent service. This would mean either narrowing the road to the airport and/or acquiring land to fit two sets of tracks.

    2)The rail passage would have to link up to the Onehunga line….which is a single track…again land would have to be acquired or travellers would need to disembark and catch the Onehunga train.

    3) Trains only go to train stations, travellers will still need to either get picked up from the stations, have their car parked there, catch an additional taxi or take a bus…..the above 3 options sound like a lot of fun whilst lugging a suitcase or two around!

    4) People actually like to drive from point A to point B and not phaff around with swapping trains, busses, taxis etc.

    5)To actually recover the money on all the track development, trains etc the fare will need to be in the vicinity of $30-40 each way and after you have shelled out all that money you will still need to hop on and off various transports before you can get to your destination.

    Considering you can get taxi’s for $40-80 to take you anywhere in the central ismus door to door in a timely fashion with no fuss, or a door to door shuttle for $30-40 or the airport bus that takes you to the CBD for $15 why would you piss around with taking trains and busses and waste up to a couple of hours of your time?

    As I said, a huge waste of money!

    • stanman

      this list is indeed a joke.
      However, i cant agree with your rail theory. Every major city ive been to(overseas) has a rail link to downtown from the major airport-the vast majority of arrivals are heading that way (not citizens-travellers)-they don’t need a car awaiting them-they just want cheap fast efficient travel to and from the gateway. i agree it may not be financially viable- but on all other points i think you are dreaming,and possibly not utilised the fantastic rail loops throughout Europe ,Australia etc which pull up at the arrivals door.

  • cows4me

    Oh well better stock up the ammo locker and there are a few more firearms I must acquirer. Better do it before the idiots realise they should have banned these to.

  • it really is same ol same ol.

    same policies that got them removed, same policies that made us broke, same tactic of buying an election.

  • Steve (North Shore)

    Tell them they are dreaming, and long may they do so

  • GregM

    All of these remits will gain Labour votes. The sad thing is that probably none of those voters will be contributing to society or the economy.
    The once strong Labour movement has dwindled to a rag tag bunch of splinter groups with their hands out.
    Politics in this country ( on both sides ) needs a swift boot right up the arse, what we are getting is simply not good enough.

    • Middleagedwhiteguy

      All of the votes that these remits gain will be from the Green block, and it will move the center to the right.

  • LesleyNZ

    When I read through them I thought you were just having a bit of fun and having us on. Then I read David Farrar’s post. The Labour Party are serious?????? They are in cuckoo land.

  • toby_toby

    Oh Labour. Ban anything you’re ideologically opposed to, tax anything you’re sceptical of. Use that tax money to pay for the votes you had to buy. I don’t often go on a rant; please indulge me.

    Here are my favourites (ie, most idiotic)
    – Nationalisation of any partially sold assets
    Funded by the money printing fairy!

    – Compulsory Te Reo Maori until age 15
    If I had a child under 15 and they came home with a D- in Te Reo I’d say “Good on ya.” I don’t mind a few token words of Reo Maori being taught, eg kia ora; but the language is a dead language and serves no practical use.

    – Ban fracking
    Ignorant. I don’t believe there is conclusive evidence yet that fracking is detrimental.

    – Ban plastic bags
    – Bring ban the food police to school tuckshops
    Fucking idiotic nanny statism. Yeah, it sounds like a cliche, but these are nonetheless very nanny state policies.

    – Fund a brand new commercial free TV broadcaster
    – Fund a Pacific TV broadcasterClare Curran continually runs down the state broadcaster, which I find bizarre considering that she’ll end up alienating everyone at the company she could become minister of. Poor form. There is no need for a commercial free broadcaster funded by the tax payer. If Curran wants more docos about nose piercing and hemp skirts then she should use the dividend returned by TVNZ to fund commercial free blocks of niche programming on the channels that the govt already owns. Keep in mind that TVNZ does not receive any money from the govt but must return a dividend. That is the simple reason why TVNZ must operate as commercially as possibly and this is reflected in the content.
    As for a pacific tv broadcaster? What a fucking moronic waste of time and money for a niche audience.

    – Bring back compulsory membership of student associations
    – De facto compulsory unionism by forcing all employees to “contribute to
    the benefits of enterprise and multi-enterprise bargaining”
    Standard anti-democratic stuff from the party that doesn’t believe in the right to freedom of association. I work for a Crown Entity. I can’t imagine the sort of vile union I’d be made to belong to if Labour had its way.

    Vote buying:

    – A Super Gold card for transport for under 21s
    Fucking stupid. Most of people in this age bracket have not moved out of home and are in the prime money earning period of their lives. Honestly. They pay minimal board (if any), probably drive mum’s car and use her petrol, and don’t have any other costs like utility bills, insurance, mortgages etc. Their take-home income pretty much all translates to disposable income. Instead of giving handouts to kids, teach them that they have to work hard and pay their way in life.

    – Lower the voting age to 16
    What a fucking nutty idea. Like we need ignorant teens voting. What is the point of this? How about this: I’ll agree to the voting age to 16 only if school leavers who don’t do any tertiary education have to instead commit themselves to a year of national military service with the possibility of overseas deployments in a warzone.

    • Dave

      Well side!! Reccomend we keep TobyToby away from labour party policy, hate the labour party to realise he might be on to something.

  • Slater, it would be better if you and Farrar didn’t print identical posts, farrars is better , he asks which remit is the most ludicrous, heinous , Farrar is alway better, stop sucking

  • BR

    When I first read that list i thought someone was taking the piss.


  • blazer

    some great topics for discussion.Society is changing all the time.The privatise profits,socialise losses agenda favoured by the right ,the greedy and the environmental vandals needs to be addressed for future generations.

  • Middleagedwhiteguy


    Labour goes Greek, and the taxpayer takes it in the arse.