Whale Week What Was

David Shearer – via The Listener

Grab a coffee. ?This is going to take a while.

On Saturday we woke up to the business-as-usual hypocrisy from the Greens as they continue their “do as we say, not as we do” lectures, resulting in Federated Farmers giving Gareth Hughes a smack down all the while remaining perfect gentlemen. ?Classic. We then report on marriage equality in Washington State with a photo of a lovely couple getting permission to wed on the 9th. ?Next (Inception?warning!)?WOBH launched its weekly post summary Whale Week What Was, which isn’t only useful for feeding search engines, it’s also appreciated by busy readers catching up after a hectic week. ?The Saturday General debate asked readers why David Shearer can work overseas, but he’s trying to keep Kiwis in New Zealand, and our readers contributed their own topics as well. ?Next Whale posts a video showing the ugly side of Christchurch where a “Freedom Rally” shouts down and abuses an ACT candidate. ?We then have a laugh at the expense of a blind drunk idiot in Gore that decided to hug the road for warmth, and speaking of blind, after a few years of Labour accusing John Key of being an empty “Smile and Wave” shell, Shearer suddenly decides he’s no longer doing “Photo ops” himself. ?How long before Jacinda catches on? ?A sad outcome to an Aussie DJs’ prank resulting in the suicide of the person they?embarrassed. ?An eyebrow raising report on a 13 year old going for a 160 km/h joyride in?atrocious?conditions and surviving is followed by a post on a repeat burglar who doesn’t want to be in prison because he gets picked on for having ginger hair. ?(Awwwww). ?And to keep this run of “hard news” posts going (hey, it’s a Saturday, and close to Xmas!), we question the real reasons behind the Case Of The Exploding Fridge. ?Once more we indulge ourselves at the expense of Stuff as Tracy Watkins stuffs her percentages, but we quickly move on to admire Sean Plunket’s David Cunliffe sledge. ?Next a look at the RC vehicles that the Israeli women of the IDF use, but then a gentle slide to the end of the day with another look a stupid people. ?This time: ?a?drunk driver who crashed his car while eating a plate of pork chops. ?Yeah. ?A quick reminder how handy your smart phone really is, before closing the day with a video showing the infamous Bill Murray make an entrance at the David Letterman show.

Barry Soper – via Imgur

Some good “Face of the Day” photos of late, and Sunday‘s one had people going right out of the gate. ?Then a vid about a US Mall Santa being fired because he wouldn’t let a kid sit on his knee and he misheard what the child asked for. ?Tough job. ?A report on glaciers doing just fine in India won’t suit Russell Norman and the Green Agenda. ?This is followed by a post where the Economist exposes New Zealand as the only country that has a reducing amount of tertiary qualified “indigenous?people”. ?We quickly share a pearl of wisdom for loser?lost losing politicians from?E.J. Dionne at RealClearPolitics before heading into Sunday’s General Debate where a cop being baited by a scrote got some air time. ?Greenpeace are caught playing politics again, perhaps risking their Charity status. ?Then an “only in France” post where a man can’t seem to take on his wife’s surname. ?Whale suggests we should all get Fracking based on the results from Great Britain. And in the next posts he calls for teachers to get paid what they’re worth. ?Then we collectively feel our stomachs turn as Hamas “celebrates” their 25th year of terrorism against Israeli civilians. ?Whale reviews the Green movement marching on like a religion, but preferring to call it the Green Taliban. ?A post on a Mormon web site calling for tolerance towards gay people raises the question if Mormons may have left the stone age after all. ?Russell Brand interviews two men from the ?Westboro Baptist Church, and the readers just remarked on how?unpalatable?Russell Brand is. ?Then a chuckle at another idiot that phoned police because the person he was trying to burgle was holding a gun on him. ?Another flawed NZ Herald piece, this time on drink-drive limits leads us to more bullshit in the form of a Citigroup press release overflowing with pr-speak. ?Whale then encourages the use of carnage in politics and admonishes those that think it should be a civil?pursuit. ?To close the day, a post highlighting the lowlife scum that live amongs us: ?some people have been looting the tornado-damaged homes in Auckland.

Social Media Gag – via crankitmedia.com

Back at work to recover from the weekend? Welcome to Monday, where we were greeted by a big grin from a kid that beat cancer?before admiring NZ Herald’s over-use of stock photos in our usual Herald Bombs section. ?We visit the French again, this time to take note of their dwindling sperm. ?Whale then posts a good editorial on the DJ “Prank Saga”, and taking responsibility for your own actions. ?If you take joy from Labour self destructing, the Carnage In Politics post pulverises what remained of Claire Curran’s credibility. ?Cam then asks us to look at hunting as an ethical choice, with commenters confirming hunters quickly becoming keen conservators of their hunting grounds. ? This is followed by a post where the Australian Liberal Party have been gagged and are under pressure to disengage from social media. ?Australian??independent MP Craig Thomson is probably losing sleep after brothels and escort agencies have been?subpoenaed as Fair Work Australia looks for dirt on his company credit card use. ?The UK’s self-appointed do-gooders now have gourmet burgers with partially-cooked patties in their legislative sights, and Whale fears a ban on raw steak will be next. ?This is followed by a post where it is reported that some Indian villages are banning cellphone use for women as these are feared to be tools for plotting escape from current husbands or pending arranged marriages. ?Coffee snobs then get to learn their US$50 cup of coffee needs to pass through an elephant first. ?We take a moment to consider Labour’s problems where the absence of democracy internally is somehow going to translate in a cohesive partnership with Greens that just take extreme positions on issues and don’t budge? ?Good luck with that. ?Always a fan of plain speaking, Whale highlights Boris Johnson’s piece where he rips the Green Taliban to pieces for trying to stop the UK from fixing its own economy through natural resource extraction (don’t we have a similar problem?). ? Lynn Prentice the uber-sysop of The Standard is then force-fed some reality by the Whale regarding the use of The Standard IP numbers to track down dissenters in the rank. ?The series on Dotcon is still baffling our readers who can’t understand why we’re doing it. ?It’s because we can’t understand the MSM are fawning over Dotcom. ?Geddit now? ?Cam chimes back in calling for more rudeness in the world by highlighting a Cactus Kate post on Paul Little not coping with rudeness. ?Then he turns his attention on Labour’s calls for food labeling on alcohol by showing them what that would look like. ?Hint: lots of zeroes there. ?And before anyone heads off early, we drive another knife into Shearer’s media performance as we analyse Stuff’s End of Year Interview with David Shearer. ?Um…

Art by Master Slater, Esq.

On Tuesday we got to appreciate Master Whaleoil’s art he completed at school. ?Here it is again on the right. ?Monday night’s audio of Cameron’s appearance on the Huddle was posted (DJ Phone Prank, reduced Telecom roaming charges and the CTV Building debacle). ?You can set your clock by another Herald Bombs, this time with the wrong picture for the article. ?Cam then had a pinko moment when he asks if there are any Good Socialists out there. ?Still not completely to his senses, he follows it up with a post about a good Pommy Bastard, UK Food Minister Owen Paterson. ?Don’t worry, we had him have a sit down and drink some water. ?NZ First announced they accepted Brendan Horan’s resignation, except Horan never actually offered it. ?Plain speaking Peter FitzSimons offers some sense in the never-ending DJ “Prank” saga. Judith Collins announces she has concerns about Justice Binnie’s report and is seeking the opinion of Robert Fisher QC on it. ?Labour MP and self-declared communications expert Clare Curran admits to having used private data captured by Labour affiliated blogs to hunt down dissenters in the ranks. ?Certain Unions are not having the best year as the Owl instigated attention is forcing errant unions to bring their books up to date. ?Large variances are now being declared by MUNZ. ?Cam is happy to be able to report a Catholic Priest for crimes that do not involve altar boys, before asking the question “When is a Union not a Union?”. ?He highlights the PPTA’s press release where they state “[The] PPTA will now be able to focus its energies on fighting the government…”. ?Sounds like a union, right? ?We then report back on the guy who smacked a pedophile and we call for him to receive a medal instead of the $175 fine. ? An early Christmas Present for the Government as the High Court rules in favour of the Crown over the water rights action taken by the Maori Council. ?And we closed the day with a twist of irony as we discover that the Australian Government is ?unhappy with the amount of Australians coming to live in New Zealand.

Wednesday, the day some people thought the world would end, happily continued past 12/12/12 12:12:12 and yet there were enough people excited that this date would not happen again in our life times. (wot!?). ?The first post of the day was about the Israeli IDF warning people they are about to bomb the building by “knocking on the roof” with a low explosive “teaser bomb”. ?A delightful blast of the past with an Eating Media Lunch segment with Sir Bob Jones. ?If you haven’t seen it yet, watch it now. ?Next Cam successfully baits the commenters into a gay marriage bash/defend frenzy with a piece suggesting economic reasons why Gay Marriage shouldn’t proceeed. ?Next we get to enjoy Winston Peters grappling with the soap as John Key deals to a silly question with wit, something Peters is desperately short of this time ’round. ?We turn our attention to Pakistan where another Al Qaeda commander gets the wrong end of a drone strike. ?Cameron highlights that Third World countries are using the Carbon Credit system to bilk billions out of the developed world. ?Next a piece where a cynical DraftFCB uses the SPCA to sell cars. ?Most bloggers have been smart enough not to fall for this caper and are rightfully holding their hand out when being asked to make someone else money. ?The day after Telecom released their great roaming rates, the Broadband division took the attention away for all the wrong reasons: multiple and very long Telecom broadband outages for 100,000 to 200,000 customers at a time. ?Why do we accept these at all? ?Nelson’s Troughing Mayor Aldo Miccio is then ratted out by one of our readers who attended a council meeting. ?(link to Nelson Mail article here). ?The Goverment accepts it isn’t doing well enough in educating children when it comes to reading, math and science, and Cameron asks if the NZEI/PPTA are still going to “fight the government” for the status quo instead of acknowledging the current system isn’t working. ?Sensational and gruesome court evidence of a murder where the victim’s ears were sliced off and one placed in her mouth was NZ’s media export for the day to the rest of the world. ? THen a post that appeared on both Kiwiblog and WOBH calling for an In House Counsel in Hawkes Bay. ?Can’t be good news for someone… Readers are probably no longer surprised that yet another union owes the IRD big bucks. ?The Maritime Union is to pay the IRD $340k in settlement for undisclosed reasons, and there is bound to be more to come. ?Andrew Little misjudges the mood of parliament and actually does the Gangnam Style dance during a debate. ?Another update on the Binnie Report as the public comes to terms with $400k having been wasted and more money needing to be spent. ?We then take a quick look at Stephen Franks losing his composure about the preferential treatment the Court gave to a Anita Maria Killeen who stands accused to forging court documents. ?A quick tongue in cheek question: ?Is Hekia Parata a real-life Nicola Murray? ?”Inexperienced and naive, she begins her tenure poorly with a number of public embarrassments…”. ? We get to listen to David Shearer on BFM explaining what greens jobs are and how Labour are adoping Green Party policy as their own. ?As you know WOBH prefers idiots out in the open instead of censure, so we all get to see an ?illiterate attempt at admonishing Cameron Slater via the Tipline. ?And to close the day, Cam posted a teaser front page of Thursday’s Truth?with the headline “HORAN’S WILD SEX ROMPS“. In spite of it being late in the day, it triggered some lively debate.

Judith Collins – via community.scoop.co.nz

We woke to Thursday morning with the realisation 12/12/12 12:12:12 really wasn’t the end of the world, unless of course you think two old men with epic beards getting married is the next best thing. ?We have a laugh at Brian Rudman not understanding the purpose behind the Waka Jumping legislation. ?Stick to what you know Brian. ?A look overseas where Union action degrades into naked violence. ?But then, unions are militant, aren’t they? ?Before the bile could settle, the next post covers Helen Kelly and the pathetic Together Union. ?The Owl exposes the Together Union is just a hole that money disappears into. ?We make a visit to Paepae covering the hypocrisy of the Standard. ?Not something new to us, but it’s unusual for WOBH and Paepae to agree on something. ?In a response to Labour, could National’s Affordable Housing plan use 3D printer technology? ?As the High Court hands Hekia Parata her marching orders on yet another mistake, the Whale Army joins the Greens and Labour for asking for Parata to go. ?Still a lot of talk about Bain and Binnie, but the Whale reminds us that there is no upside to any choice before Judith Collins. ?She just has to get this done properly. ?A quick look at two inmates that have taken to the roof of the Manawatu prison and a call to just wait until they are hungry and thirsty is followed by a truly bizarre story about an adopted son who was accused of raping his biological mother after turning her into a sex slave. ?Yeah. ?Then a tweet from Kris Faafoi Mana about a BBQ at David’s place. ?Seems a little early for it. ?Cam then admires the Australians for proper bloody politics, before offering SPADS some advice before entering the ring. ? We then highlight a post by Charles Krauthammer explaining that unions kill jobs. ?We take the shine off MUNZ’s shallow victory in getting the POAL fined $40k by asking howcome MUNZ is reserving a cool $340,000 for an IRD “settlement”. ?Why, Garry? ?If you’re not quite over the Gangnam Style craze, have a look at this Cunliffe Spoof via JibJab. ?We continue the laughs with the Dan News 2012 blooper reel. ?And then we kill the laughter with a look at ?the MUNZ web site where they declare that they have a proud “Militant Tradition”. ?A late post for the day was made to link to Justice Binnie’s report as well as the Fisher Report as they were released by Judith Collins today. ?Cam has highlighted a useful summary. ?Conclusion? ?Give Bain Nothing.

Cam Slater - Media Guy of the Year

Cam Slater – Media Guy of the Year

On Friday, Cam wakes up happy to see the Department of Corrections are taking his advice and not providing water or food to the inmates having a roof party. ?He goes on to wonder if the man that shot himself in the foot might be a perfect Labour MP?candidate. ?Massey Uni are having a vote on the best Quote for 2012, and the Army is called to put its weight behind Zip it, Sweetie. Next we have a look at the latest Roy Morgan Poll and “it is all over the place like a mad woman’s poo“. ?We consider Brendan Horan’s mental?acuity?when we see him re-Tweeting information that mocks him. ?Huh? ?Based on the “whatever happens overseas, eventually happens here” idea, WOBH warns our unions that the writing is on the wall. ?We return to Stephen Franks who has another go at the mistakes surrounding Anita Killeen?before highlighting ?another bit of Green Taliban?hypocrisy. ?Greenpeace is not a charity. ?So says Patrick Moore the former Director of Greenpeace. ?Always good to see some reader contributions, this time a report on Helen Kelly’s behaviour while on a flight to Auckland ex Wellington. ?The Owl is salivating at the idea of Helen Kelly’s foreign bank account… ?A post on the way the Green Taliban wastes money hand over fist as long as it is on their shitty green ideas follows an odd one highlighting Colin Hogg recommending Palmerston North for it’s museum and city centre. ?Always fun to see how other countries run their parliament, and Cam suggests we can do with some Ukrainian excitement. ?Don’t miss the Cartoon of the Day. A bit more vicarious laughter from our regular People Are Stupid posts, this time featuring the brainbox that siphoned petrol from a police vehicle and posting a photo of it on Facebook. ?The Dominion Post Editorial falls in behind Judith Collins and joins the chorus that Binnie is a Ninnie and Bain shouldn’t Gain [I take full responsibility for that one – Pete]. ?Truth Editor Cameron Slater goes all gooey next when he discovers David Cohen likes the cut of his jib in the NBR by calling for Cam to be Media Guy of the Year. ?Do we need to drive another nail into the Global Warming coffin? ?The Telegraph’s James Delingpole obliges. ?We close the week with a video that will get a reaction from you. ?And Whale suggests that it’s a sunrise opportunity for Andrew Little to be a trend setter for a change.

And that’s it! ?Thanks to all our readers and supporters for another great week at WOBH.