Camel Farts will now destroy the planet

An Australian Government committee has reluctantly rejected a cunning plan that could have saved the planet and made some smart operators nice and rich:

“A proposal to earn millions of carbon credits by shooting camels from helicopters and trucks has been rejected by the Australian government, in part due to concerns over animal welfare.

Northwest Carbon, a company that invests in projects that cut emissions of greenhouse gases, had sought up to 1 million carbon offsets a year from killing hundreds of thousands of camels – and using the carcasses for human and pet food.

They were brought over by Indian settlers as a means of transport in the 1840s, but through excessive belching and flatulence they are expected to emit methane equivalent to 2 million tonnes of carbon dioxide a year by 2020, similar output to a small power plant.”

It looks increasingly like the carbon tax scheme was actually drawn up the Monty Python scriptwriters. 

But not to worry, Northwest Carbon is re-drafting its plan to blast camels from the face of the desert and is confident that a renewed application paying more attention to animal welfare will get the nod.

I suggest they give up the wimpy helicopters and deal to the camels with an A10 Warthog firing depleted uranium shells at 3,900 rounds per minute.

 


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  • Pete George

    I heard a report recently about camel problems in Australia but it was nothing to do with emissions, they make a mess of scarce water supplies.

    Animal emissions are one of the stupider aspects of the climate debates. Maybe dead camels won’t be so easily replaced, but if we shot all our cows and closed down our farms imagine how many possums would replace them.

    I’m going to pick some cherries – while I’m still allowed, they can produce some nasty emissions once consumed.

  • thor42

    OMG!!! Will our Wussel (who is an Aussie) now make an emergency carbon-spewing trip to Canberra to convince the MPs of their sins?

  • Rodger T

    I`m wondering how the Planet survived the (estimated)50million Bison and who knows how many Caribou,Big Horn sheep et al in Nth America ,and all the Herbivores on the African ,Asian, Sth American , Siberian and European continents .
    Imagine the tonnage of methane these species produced yet here , 6million sheep are the cause of the end of the world.

    • cows4me

      Rodger it is often claimed that methane is the worst of the green house gases, the Melons love this, gives them another excuse to hate on cows. In fact methane has a very short life span, a couple of lightning bolts soon evens the score, methane been a explosive gas.

      • Rodger T

        It is certainly the worst of the greenhouse gases in my house after I`ve had a plate of nachos. Explosive ,that`s a way of putting it politely ,LoL.

      • Tristanb

        Yeah, but when CH4 explodes in oxygen it produces H2O and CO2 – two other scary gases that the Greens want to ban.

        • cows4me

          Yes there’s no pleasing some is there Tristanb. The Meloms really just want to ban living, I wonder if mass sucide would be a pleasing concept for them

    • Patrick

      Kill all the animals on the African Savannah – that will bring the numbers down & will mean our food producing cows can continue farting – until the cows come home

  • Pissedoffyouth

    How about the fart’s of Greenies? Lets tax them.

    • Rodger T

      You are on to it, a Vegan Tax, fuck yeah!

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