I figured out what’s wrong with the NZ Herald

They are morons.

No, hear me out.  I have a case to make.

The NZ Herald is a news organisation.  With me so far?   Right.

What should they be doing, when at work?  Reporting on news?  Right.

What is news?

No, bare with me.  What is news?  


Here comes the important part.

Lance Armstrong (who is only a cyclist, by the way), was announced to be going on Oprah to admit to drug taking days before he met her for the taping of the show.

Lance Armstrong (who isn’t a world leader, or opinion maker), was announced to have gone on Oprah and admitted drug taking days before the broadcast of the show.

I’m sorry to insult your intelligence, but hang in there a little longer, OK?

Is the broadcast of the Oprah/Armstrong interview news?  (Please refer to the definition – “Newly received”, and “important events”).

It may be noteworthy.  It may still be entertaining.  It may even appeal to some who are avid Oprah fans or Armstrong haters.

But what would you expect to happen in the NZ Herald Newsroom, during working hours, when the Oprah taped interview was being played?

Remember:  We all knew what was going to be said up to a week in advance.

Care of David Fisher (@Fish_NZ, @FishNZH, @FisherJourno, @DFisherJourno – who can keep track?), we have this photograph of paid, professional journalists spending the company’s money “gathering news”.


This isn’t the Melbourne Cup office sweepstakes.  It isn’t Team New Zealand taking the cup off that evil Conner.

Why the hell are these people not working?

Note to APN News & Media Limited:  Plenty of fat in that newsroom yet.  Trimming time.

Morons.  QED.


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  • Dumrse

    A well refined definition, make sure it dosn’t come back and bite TRUTH’s arse. That said, the inclusion of the subjective word “noteworthy”, will provide an appropriate escape clause.

    • Doesn’t justify all those people standing there watching a sports cheat tell a waning talkshow host in need of a ratings lift what we all suspected for years and knew for days. Had I been in that newsroom I would have considered it a point of pride not to be seen watching that crap.

      • Dumrse

        Mmmmm, hour many hours does WOBH trawl thru other forms of media looking at yesterdays news for a tasty morsel that might wet the appetite of bloggers ? Im not convinced there is a large gap in the MO used in this example.

        • You made my brain hurt. How can you possibly think an unpaid hobby blogger looking for blog fodder is the same as a herd of salaried staff gawking at a talkshow revealing information already known to them BEFORE they started watching it?

          • Dave

            Pete – im going to add to that. One Blogger, unpaid, who has a Full Time job, a family, a radio gig, and other interests, manage to pull them up almost daily. Seems to me their offshore QC, sub editing and editing need to work far better. Perhaps its time for them to look at their business model again and once the offshore team are up to speed, close 95% of their NZ operations, go to Contract Journo’s and just a local sales operation with a contract printing and distribution network. It would serve them far better at a fraction of the cost. All those hungry independent Journos finding and writing good stories.

            An Example, why wasn’t the Herald or even Stuff Up looking at the REAL issues, investigated Michael and Adele and looked to Report HONESTLY what is going on. Yunno, dig, uncover and then Actually report a balanced and factual view, not their own bent views. Why isint the Herald reporting this, and that Mr Williams covered it up, did not tell Len etc. Why.

  • peterwn

    Whale’s next career move – editor of Granny Herald? Watch out EPMU.

  • unitedtribes

    Its not that good a strategy to continually slag off a competitor when you’re the new boy on the block. Even if they do deserve it.

  • meow

    Can you please get your grammar right – it isn’t “bare with me”, it is “bear with me”. There is no way I would get bare with you unless you are blonde and have big tits. It’s about the third time this week I have seen this specific mistake, I would expect more especially when you are dissing the competition.


    • The Herald is a blog now? Pleased to know you think a single man blog is competition for the MSM

  • Patrick

    NZ Herald – insignificant producer of fish & chips wrappers

  • parorchestia

    The print media industry is declining due to all you iPad users out there. They cannot afford enough reporters to provide a decent paper, so they fill it up with froth and frolics, opinion and nonsense.
    It’s happening the world over.