It’s Not OK, ever

Domestic violence must be stamped out at all levels, including leafy suburbs where suppression orders to protect those in high political office who like to show their women the back of their hand.

An anti-violence campaigner has called on Northland men to “man up” and lead the way against domestic violence by speaking up if they see others abusing loved ones.

Hundreds marched through central Whangarei yesterday to protest against domestic violence following the violent death of mother of two Patricia Ann Mcgrath.

The mother of two, nicknamed Wowo, died on January 8 in Whangarei Hospital after she was taken off life support following an assault four days earlier in her Kamo home. 

Whangarei ex-gang member Phil Paikea, who turned his own violent past around and was one of the initiators of the White Ribbon anti-violence motorcycle ride, told those gathered at the end of the march it was time to “man up”.

“Year after year, it has been the nannies and the aunties leading the charge. We have to man up and take the lead. We don’t need money to do it. Take a look around … all we need is each other. The time for debating family violence is gone. It’s time for action. Family violence is here, it’s real.”

The comments drew a round of applause.


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  • Mr_Blobby

    The fool will have to hand in his Maori card. “We don’t need money to do it. Take a look around … all we need is each other.” Everybody knows that the answer is to throw more money at the Maori elite.

    • Steve R

      I think he should be praised and acknowledged as the first Maori to admit they are able to help themselves

      • Mr_Blobby

        Yes. It was more of a poke at Mana, Maori party and the Maori elite.Who are very conspicuous by there absence on this subject unless it to beg for money to solve the problem.

        • Steve R

          haha good point ….. They must hate the guy lol

  • cows4me

    I guess they feel like they are doing something but I fail to see how a march will curb domestic violence. Who is their targeted audience. I do hope theyare not saying something silly like we should, “all take responsibility”. I’m tied of that bullshit. I don’t bash my family and no one else I know does either. The responsibility lies with the abusers, I think Phil may be on the right track. Throwing bucket loads of money at this will only create another welfare institution and the problem will only get worst. I would go even further and say welfare is the disease not the curer.

  • tarkwin

    Have a look at the pictures on the Northern Advocate site, looks like a Mana Part rally. Then again it was a Monday in Northland and most of them aren’t interested in working. I don’t disagree with what they are trying to do and I know Phil, but hi-jacking a cause is as common as pot smoking up this way.

  • Andrei

    Lol more lefty whizzling

    Of course I was bought up that a man under no circumstances ever hiot a woman – it was both unmanly and cowardly.

    And I recall as a young child a guy who broke that rule and gave his wive a bop got dealt too very severely by his peers – indeed his jaw was wired for months after. It made a lasting impression upon me.

    You don’t hit girls!

    But the loudest whiners about domestic violence are the gender is a social construct crowd who want to be treated as men and when it comes down it it are pretty ghastly examples of women – not something you’ld ever want to cuddle up to or cherish – screeching harridans ugly in both mind and body. Who suddenly play the female card over this issue.

    Scorn is called for

  • Cam, half the relationship aggression is done… by the girls. From Magdol, J Consult Clin Violence, 1997, and among (then) 21 yo in the Dunedin Multidisciplinary study (each heading as a sum of people admitting to an event and then a breakdown by type)

    Partner Violence Among 21-Year-Old Women and Men: Perpetration Rates
    Subscale and item Women Men
    (n = 425) (n = 436)
    Verbal aggression 94.6% 85.8%
    d. Insult or swear 66.8 53.2
    e. Sulk or refuse to talk 59.5 52.0
    f. Stomp out 52.9 42.3
    g. Cry 87.8 48.3
    h. Do or say something to spite 46.6 43.9
    I. Threaten to hit or throw 24.0 10.3
    j. Throw-smash-hit object 14.4 18.4
    Minor physical violence 35.8% 21.8%
    k. Throw object at partner 10.8 3.9
    1. Push-grab-shove partner 28.5 20.7
    m. Slap partner 19.1 6.0
    Severe physical violence 18.6% 5.7%
    n. Kick-bite-hit with fist 14.4 4.4
    o. Hit with object 8.3 1.1
    p. Beat up 0.9 1.l
    q. Choke-strangle 0.0 1.4
    r. Threaten with knife-gun 0.5 0.0
    s. Use knife-gun 0.2 0.0

    I have simplified the table from the paper, which is here, and removed the confidence intervals — those differences are, as you would expect, statistically significant.

    Violence is a human problem. It is a problem for men, It is equally a problem for women. We need to stop the political discourse on this long enough to read the research — done in this country — which does not support the current idea that it is a male problem

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  • Better version of the same comment with the relevant tables @ (Cannot put images into disqus comments)

    • Hazards001

      Why not just put the link up from where you got the table? Not that it seems to be saying anything new. It’s been common knowledge for years that domestic violence is pretty much 50/50, not that that excuses men from belting the paste out of women. I took my Dads example to heart when being intimidated or harassed by my ex wife and simply left the house. (of course I went to the pub which only pissed her off more…lol hence the ex part!)

      • Lopsy

        I believe Kiwi men are pretty easy going for the most part and would rather walk away from a violent and abusive woman than physically abuse her whatever she does. That said there are some bad bastards out there.

        • Hazards001


      • Link in the original post, but the table did not work. So put a better version on my blog.

  • JC

    Beware the lefty/Obama approach to social problems. Simply get emotional and march or talk about it to show how much we care.. and then demand that rich old White men fix it.