Killer Cows still running rampant, now lighting fires

Readers will be familiar with the havoc these deranged beasts can commit from my earlier posts.

Now it is revealed that not only are they prone to assault any human that strays into range, they are also cunning arsonists:

Burning cowpats proved problematic at a large grass fire in Te Hauke, south of Hastings.

Three helicopters assisted Hastings District Council rural fire officers and Otane fire service to extinguish the blaze on Colin White Rd, near SH2, on Monday. 

The farmer moved his stock with the assistance of neighbours while the four-hour battle ensued.

Similar to a recent fire just two ridges away, sun-baked cowpats were a problem, he said.

“They just keep burning,” Mr Mitchell said. “They are like Little Lucifers (fire starters).”


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  • cows4me

    Where’s the poor, valuable source of fuel for the fire place in winter.

  • David Broome

    Don’t you know, Green revisionist historians have only just discovered some key historical factors proving Gareth Morgan is wrong about cats:

    1. Operation Barbarossa (Unternehmen Barbarossa), was launched because Adolph Hitler wanted to turn Russia into a kick-ass dairy farm.

    2. The crusades were not about religion. No sirree, it was about market access for European cheeses into the Middle East.

    3. The Black Death only came into Europe on an early shipment of PKE.

    4. As for JFK’s assasination, that was of course linked to the fake Moon landings (we all know Stanley Kubrick did this in Arizona in cahoots with the Soviets and the Chinese to not disclose where the signals really came from). The reason? JFK knew the Moon is really made out of cheese and opening up this unlimited source of it would have undermined the US and global dairy industry (the Green historians are certain it was a Kiwi sharemilker from Feilding on the grassy knoll that day).