Perhaps shaking the baby would have helped?

Jodi Noyce reports:

A few Sunday mornings ago, when the summer had started to kick in, my partner and I headed to our local cafe for breakfast. It was hot and we were hungry – we’d just spent the morning at the christening of a good friend’s first born.

Never go to a Christening on an empty stomach.

“Is that a child crying?” my partner asked me with a concerned look on his face. I replied yes but thought to myself, this wasn’t normal crying. This was a piercing, shrill cry and sounded like the child was in pain. I glanced around and everyone in the cafe looked disturbed.

A couple sat down at the empty table beside us but after hearing the crying, left and went to the cafe across the road. I asked my partner if we should do the same – and just as I did, the crying let up.


After around 10 minutes of continuous crying, my partner had clearly had enough. “It’s one thing for a baby to cry but this is ridiculous.” Thinking that he wanted to leave without eating, I began to gather my things. But he had other ideas. “No one has said anything to them, so I am.”

He was too upset to listen to my suggestion to leave – and instead walked over to the parents of the toddler. “I’m sorry, but your child has not stopped crying since we got here,” he said. “Everyone in the café is upset by it. Can you either take your child for a walk or find another solution.

“This is my Sunday too.”

“Chill out mate”, came the father’s reply.

My partner walked back to our table. A few minutes later, the mother and her child began walking towards the door.

As they walked passed us, she turned to my partner. “We are leaving and you are a despicable human being.”

Once outside the door she mouthed the words “f*** you.”


A waitress, who regularly serves us, came over and asked if we were OK – it wasn’t the first time this family had been told to do something about their child.

“That child is a problem child,” she said. “She is always crying. Customers have told the family this before.” After apologising, she said that the cafe is often caught in the middle of these situations but can’t really say anything.

They can’t do anything about it?  Like hell they can’t.  They’re a bunch of cowards that should be thinking of all their other customers instead of the one that’s ruining it for everyone else.




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  • Andrei

    my partner and I

    Says it all really, a cluess, effette urban liberal with a gender neutral squeeze.

    Fuck lets banish the breeders to the cheap housing suburban ghettos while important people such as ourselves can get on with out ever so important lives chattering about important matters over our lattes.

    Fucking airheads

    • Timboh

      Disagree. If the “breeders” as you call them are disturbing the peace of other people (especially for a period of time) then they should be told that. Good on the guy for telling them that.

      • Andrei

        You know matey the writer of this whine claims to have just attended a baptism.

        Funny thing is when I have attended baptisms there is usually some sort of a party following and at such events there are just about always tons of kids running about and having a good time,

        Sure beats lattes in a yuppie cafe surrounded by dreary people with their “partners”

        • Dave

          Andrei the writer has just attended a Baptism, well yes you Genius!! But please think a bit Andrei, what would you expect at a Baptism, a 42 gun salute, no, rev heads doing burnouts in their cars, ah no, other families with similarly aged kids, perhaps running round, laughter and happiness and babies crying Hell yes!! Now what should one expect at a cafe, relative calm, perhaps chatter going on in the background, perhaps some loud laughter hell yes But not a baby continually crying. I am sure if a drink was there singing loudly he or she would be asked to leave, similarly Andrei, if the parents with said baby can’t stop him crying then out of respect to other patrons they should leave and take the baby somewhere else I suggest a nice takeaway Latte and a trip to a park to walk the baby in its stroller.

          All the cafe has to erect a

    • Alex

      Woah! Obviously this article touched a raw nerve. Are you yourself guilty of letting your kids run amok disturbing all and sundry, and making bugger all effort to do something about it?
      Actually, some of the most critical people of this sort of behaviour are parents of the older generations, who can’t understand why anyone is willingly raising self-centred kids who have no understanding of boundaries or respect for others.
      Oh by the way, the writer is a heterosexual: her partner is denoted by the masculine pronoun. Her complaint is about lack of consideration, and feral behaviour, by these parents. And from this you draw the inference that the solution is to banish breeders to ghettos.
      Up there with your mad rantings about rape and child abuse by priests being a “non-issue”.

  • Phar Lap

    Same thing happens on the opposition benches in Parliament.A bunch of self appointed screaming skulls,with their obsession to be noticed.Just run an educated eye over the motley opposition,full of sick *****.

  • Patrick

    It’s costing them business – get a tresspss order & tell them to clear off until they can get the child to behave

  • “They can’t do anything about it? Like hell they can’t. They’re a bunch of cowards that should be thinking of all their other customers instead of the one that’s ruining it for everyone else.”

    Problem is if they do do something and the parents go to the media then they get a bad rep from the press about not liking kids. If they even suggest that people who can’t control their kids should please leave for the sake of their other clients they will be slaughtered by the liberals (who generally don’t seem that fond of kids…except when it suits them).

    Our second eldest had infant reflux when she was really little, so she used to fuss a fair bit….we always took her outside or didn’t go out in the first place when she was like that, because we didn’t think it was right to let her being fussy be an annoyance for others.
    (if you’ve ever dealt with a reflux baby you know what I am talking about)

  • stinkeye3

    My sister takes her children outside if they are screaming – and the older ones (4 years old) would never have a tantrum in public because being in public is”a grown up place” and they be quiet or they get in trouble.

    If your little mistake can’t shut up then take it away – I get told to leave if I start screaming in a cafe

  • Brian of Mt Wellington

    Obviously the people who run the cafe are gutless. They know the screaming kid is annoying others so they should say something to the parents. I normally put up with unruley kids for about 5 mins then politely say something to the parents. I don’t care what others think of me.Just yesterday I told some foreigners how rude they were for pushing infront of kids at a feeding session at Kelly Tarltons. Others wanted to say something but didnt.