Rodney, Matt, bring back the biff or hand in your man cards

The last couple of weeks the Herald on Sunday left and right columnists have had a pretty poor showing. Instead of the cut and thrust of world political events they have both done middle aged, blouse columns on diets and other such panty-waist activities.

They seem to be mimicking David Farrar’s style, such as it is. Next thing they will be wearing TEVA sandals.

This week Rodney goes on about bananas…and although I get his point, especially the sledge about GM bananas but really!

We’ve been genetically modifying bananas for 7000 years. We have bred a banana we like. And a banana that depends upon us. Our bananas haven’t had sex since the start of recorded time. They have no seeds and bats no longer pollinate them. They depend on us to propagate them.

Vegans stuff themselves with the sugary, seedless, artificially-propagated bananas believing them natural. They really have no idea. They would choke on the original banana.

The bananas the vegans chew aren’t what nature gave us. They’re heavily genetically-modified. Not in a controlled way with scientists in a laboratory. But out in the field for thousands of years with farmers choosing the bananas that were good to grow and to eat.

Matt McCarten is worse, he is bleating on about diet and it is written by a bloke who clearly telling fibs especially about fat loss. 

[E]ven in my disciplined phases, I just couldn’t get away from foods that kill. A dieter in most cafes starves. If they don’t buy food that includes breads, there’s nothing to eat. Even a glass of supposedly pure orange juice makes up half of a person’s daily sugar needs.

I’m going in for another round of surgery in April. I have to strengthen my body by then or there will be real problems.

Just before Christmas I was reading my latest health book and reading passages to a long-suffering friend who has had to tolerate my obsessiveness for far too long. She sighed that I didn’t need any more information about what to do. I just needed to do it.

What Matt needs is to find someone to lock him in a basement and feed him through a slot in the door lest he be tempted by tastier morsels out on the street.

These guys need to eat more red meat and have a bit more variety…in their diet, seriously…I wonder about Rodney, I think the hormone filled chicken has addled him.


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  • Patrick

    Hide is a softcock playing to the gallery – all his Herald columns do is highlight what a waste his career as a politician has been. He says all the right things but when he was in the prime position to have influence he chose to bury his snout in the trough just like all the rest of the politicians. His ongoing legacy is Len Brown & the Auckland Supercity, how very apt. Hide is all mouth and no trousers.

    As for McCarten – another leftie commie bullshitter. Stole from the NZ Taxpayer & refuses to pay it back. At the same time he rails against “big business” exploiting the poor old working man – what could be worse than deducting their PAYE & trousering it?

  • surfisup

    I too was disappointed in Hides recent columns.

    Maybe he is running out of stories from his youth?

  • redeye

    “The bananas the vegans chew aren’t what nature gave us.”

    I beg to differ. Selectively breed plants is still taking what nature gave us. We’re just being more choosy.

  • jonno1

    I think they both just need to stop it.

    • Steve (North Shore)

      That is good Bob

  • Hazards001

    McCarten “I’m going in for another round of surgery in April. I have to strengthen my body by then or there will be real problems.”

    I wasn’t aware that it was possible to have a backbone surgically implanted…I so need to keep up.