Whale Week What Was

Steve Harris - Iron Maiden, Whale Oil Beef HookedSaturday started with a Face of the Day photo that was a bit hard to look at before breakfast.  Cam finds a Frenchman worthy of respect, and is pleased to find they aren’t all cheese eating surrender monkeysCount Jacques le Bel de Penguilly does have a poofy name though.  Five Lesbians Eating a Quiche is a play that Whale suggests David Farrar should review for his Womans Weekly blog.  Australia charges its second Catholic Priest for child sex crimes, and this blog continues to ask:  Why is New Zealand immune?  We’re either better than the rest of the world or we’re still covering it up.  Which is it, and why?   Sadly, another Cry Baby post where we highlight those who aren’t taking personal responsibility.  This time, people who booked on Jetstar had their flights cancelled are in the paper bleating they’ll never fly Jetstar again.  If only they knew this could happen, eh?  Sharing a public space is tough when the others are eating, playing music and talking on their phones.  Cam Slater throws in a joke about an ERO school inspector and Hekia Parata, and follows it up with a post where he reveals that politicians lie.  Yeah.  Why do women wear high heels?  It can get to the point of ridiculousness for sure. An interesting post showing that a Connecticut newspaper is still advertising guns right next to Sandy Hook School news.  That was followed by a post of dash cam footage from 1927 as well as dash cam footage of a plane crash last week.  Next a top drawer post about glow in the dark toilet paper and poop hand soap.  Only on WOBH.   An interesting BBC2 short about Gordon Buchanan turning himself potential into Polar Bear lunch leads a post about Iron Maiden showing Steve Harris wearing a Whale Oil Beef Hooked T-Shirt.  Perhaps we should avoid NZ Herald Stock tips:  Australian shares are hot apparently?  Especially those APN stocks.  Oh, and Fairfax stocks are doing just great as well.  And as we wind down towards the end of the Saturday, we have a post about a CK Stead letter in which he slams the Binnie report as having clear bias.  

PZbuUOn Sunday the Face of the Day was Lance Armstrong.  Rumours are he is going to admit to being a drug cheat.  Our Whale Army spotted Kim Dotcom on an Auckland Beach, sitting on inflatable couches.  Way to integrate as a Kiwi Kimbo.  A news report about a woman hiding in her attic with her children during a home invasion.  When the intruder finally found them, she shot him 5 times.  Guns save lives too.  An update on the newspaper that published the location of gun owners in its area and caused a backlash are now hiring armed guards to protect themselves.  The hypocrites didn’t think that through, did they?  The  weekly Best of Whale Army post had some good comments highlighted, with a clear favourite from Pissedoffyouth who claimed John Key shot the Bain family on the way to the Lundy house.  The Sunday Debate never fired, with only 10 comments.  This reflected a slower day as a lot of people were travelling home from their holiday spots.   A weird story about a cat being used to try to take contraband into a prison is follewed by a story of a creative backlash against the paper that published the locations of gun owners in the area: the gun owners have published the anti-gun employees locations.  They couldn’t see that coming?  With all the debate on Marriage Equality, gays and lesbians, WOBH takes a look at asexuals, or as Cam calls them: dud roots.  The Telegraph reports the UK also have a soft judiciary and UK politicians soft on crime.  A man took up valuable time of emergency services threatening to jump off the Sky Tower in what was later revealed to be an attention seeking stunt.  We visit the astonishing story of a scam tour operator who charged to take a busload of Chinese tourist around free attractions including a free meal at the Christmas City Mission Christmas Lunch.  James Delingpole explains what we already know: wind turbines are neither eco-friendly nor are they energy efficient.  The Herald finds its funny bone and reports on Barry Hart being a Criminal Traffic Lawyer, but then spoils the effect with more sloppy mistakes.  We pop in on the Sydney Morning Herald.  They report union control of political parties is damaging.  We know what we have to look forward to then.  A post announced Cam Slaters’ third, and for the moment last, appearance as a Talkback Host on Newstalk ZB.  Cam posts commentary on a Stuff article where people complain about Taser use on the mentally ill.  Surely it’s better than using a gun, he says?   The tip line followed up on a polar bear photo feature with a story of an Alaskan man who fought one off long enough to shoot it dead.   Joris de Bres makes a mistake and finally says something sensible.  He says the exclusion of non-maori candidates for the Ngati Porou CEO position is racist.  A bit late to find your balls Joris, but welcome to the club at last.  We close the day with a visit to Cactus Kate who reports Rodney Hide has jumped the shark (that’s a shame) by claiming Justice Binnie did a great job.

Screen Shot 2013-01-06 at 10.35.57 PMFor some Monday was back to work day, and we start with a Cactus Kate post looking at what she wants for 2013.  In short: for the National Party to actually do something.  Belarus dictator Alexander Lukashenko passed a law making it illegal to clap.  They still managed to charge and fine a one handed man with a clapping offence.  In what appears to be inevitable, Germany is looking to increase it’s role in Defence in Europe, wanting to increase its capacity, capability and forces.  Uh oh.  Do we really need another World War?  Sylvia Jennings is the Pam Corkery fan so she took to Facebook to complain about Cam Slater as a stand-in talkback host.  His voice is so monotonous, it keeps her awake.  Instead of that lovely Pam, who sends her to sleep.  What???  Herald on Sunday polls Aucklanders to discover Aucklanders think they’re nicer and friendlier than the rest of New Zealand.  Rod Vaughan wrote a whinging book about how TVNZ are a bad employer, and that Bill Rallston is a bastard.  Yes? So?  We report on an FBI report that more people are killed with hammers and clubs than with assault rifles.  A sad posts on a child being killed by a falling bullet because she was marked at birth by Silly First Name Syndrome.  Nelson continues to have its share of natural troubles, this time with an electrical storm that caused forest fires.  The blog continues its reporting on Catholic Priests doing weird things.  This time it involved handcuffs and a gag.  Almost daily we see teenagers report on their own crime via Facebook and then being surprised they are arrested.  Hello?   A cool video about dipping your hand in molten lead leads into a detailed look into snowflakes, including Dr Masaru Emoto‘s research.  The Herald is caught quoting its own discredited survey as authoritative work to bash police while continuing to suck up to fraudster fat Germans. Where is their pride?  Is any left?  We always report on Orca and whale stories, so we couldn’t let a report on Orca in the Bay of Islands pass without mention.  A bit of fun followed with a Word Scramble puzzle that did not solve to Penis, Hitler, Nigger and Buttsex.  Another NZ Herald mistake with a photo of Rupert Murdoch “pictured with his wife” while she is absent from the photo gets David Fisher lecturing in the comments about APN attribution conditions.  Family First get desperate and use the “gay marriage leads to polygamy” card.  One thing is for sure Family First is not about all families, it is only about families that Bob McCoskrie likes.  Kim Dotcom is seen flying to the USA to stand trial.  Or maybe not.   In the ongoing distraction fight, David Cameron told the Argentinians they will defend the Falklands with military force.

Len in FijiCam Slater starts Tuesday with a video about pheasant shooting.  We’re over the Novopay grizzlers when a simply bit of math shows the errors aren’t really that bad when the scale of the school system is taken into account.  Employers in Christchurch can’t find people to fill vacant positions with a 5% unemployment rate.  Cam laments the drop in Kiwi Camping Toughness and claims Gay Utes are part of the decline in manliness.  After a bit of a Twitter Stoush with Tracey McLellan, Cameron Slater goes all out calling all women Filthy, Lying Whores.  Next we report on David Cundall who is in Myanmar to attempt to search for dozens of Spitfires buried at the end of WWII. The NZ Herald are caught implicating the NZ Dairy Industry in terrorist money laundering.  They fix up their mistakes later in the day, even using a stock image we suggested.  A quick  animation allowing you to fly through 400,000 galaxies leads to the Photo of the Day highlighting sandcastle building.  The 2nd annual NZ champs are on in a few weeks in Christchurch.  A sad New Zealand idiot spent $800,000 on an Australian dating agency looking for the right woman. Just flashing 1% of that at a pub would have done the trick.  As we saw earlier in the day, Christchurch is full of bennie bludgers, and we report on a Christchurch bakery that cant’ find reliable staff.  A Russian video of a death on the ski slopes is followed by a video showing a spectacular snowmobile crash.  Datta Phuge commissions a £14,000 solid gold shirt with the hope to attract a mate. (See above).  Our budget life hacks failed to excite, so we moved on to a Joe Biden Caption Contest.  We keep up this sudden surge of quality with an idea of how to send stuff to your best mate.  We come crashing down when we discover Len Brown was voted 7th best mayor in the world.  By his mum?  In a field of 7?  How does this even happen?  We tried to distract ourselves with some Bill Burr and Louis CK misogynistic stand-up humour before end the day with another Snapped! photopuzzling the Whale Army as to how it was done (or not).

Malcolm J. Brenner with Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with - Malcolm J. Brenner

Malcolm J. Brenner with Dolly, the dolphin he had sex with – Malcolm J. Brenner

Wednesday‘s Face of the Day was of Sara Ege, the woman found guilty last month of beating her son to death and setting fire to his body for failing to memorize passages of the Quran.  The Tipline produced a photo of a Wellington Kiwi Bank putting their rubbish in front of a fire escape.  Cam Slater joins Andrew Sullivan in asking  where Libertarian Women are?  Next a post about Alex Kosuth-Phillips, a Ginger being attacked for being Ginger.  How are ginger gays getting on?  The Sydney Morning Herald reports on the ongoing saga that is the Peter Slipper fiasco.  Over a grand on cab fees to tour vineyards is the sort of lack of respect for taxpayers’ money that we’ve come to expect.  Self-proclaimed weather guru Ken Ring is wildly astray in his January predictions for the South Island.  That’s the problem: being self-proclaimed.  Mamcolm J. Brenner had sex with a dolphin and wrote a book about it.  The Whale Army found it all a bit odd.  Len Brown, the worlds 7th best mayor, is an expert in weasel words.  We look in on an article at Bloomberg.com showing the damage done when minimum wage is lifted.  Another polular Pickpocket howto video entertained our readers before exposing Tom Arnold as a hypocrite.  Taking money for glorifying guns in movies he also speaks for gun control. Photo of the Day looks in on Chernobyl before we discover Len Brown, the 7th best mayor in the world, is blowing the council legal budget.  A reader emails why Novopay is doing just fine, while a reader agrees that things weren’t any better under Datacom.  Cam suggests that pundits be tested as all they do is predict yet aren’t held to account after the fact.  Jacinda Adern has cottoned on to the Green strategy of calling for inquiries on everything.  Cam Slater even suggests one for her. Things get serious as we find out we had more murders by people who are on bail for other crimes. Allegedly, of course.  Things get nasty as disabled athlete Cameron Leslie claims the Halberg Awards are a token gesture.  The blog highlights a NZPF press release from 2008 showing payroll errors were a normal thing even before Datacom was replaced by Novopay.  We closed the day with a video showing Karaoke singers exposed to snakes while singing.  Bonus video?  A Karaoke singer attacked by dogs.

imgurWe start our Thursday by celebrating the conviction and jailing of Kim Barwell for ripping off over 60 good Cantabrians by pretending he needed money for petrol.  The opponents to Gay Marriage are ridiculed in a post where dogs are specifically bred to have sex with humans.  Surely this is a gateway activity to legalising marriage to dogs?  The Telegraph makes a list of 70 promises David Cameron’s government made and didn’t deliver on.  The top 10  words/phrases used in scam emails as highlighted by Ernst & Young and the FBI are published before leads a post on Hamas and Palestinian militant groups having and rearing children to turn into suicide bombers.  The mothers instill in  children the love of Jihad and martyrdom for the sake of Allah.  After that dreadful business, we take a moment to celebrate David Bowie’s birthday.  Remember Amanda Todd, the teenager that committed suicide due to bullying that made a video about it?  Amanda Fucking Palmer has posted one one on Internet Hatred and it has gone viral too. A nice traditional marriage in Saudi Arabia with a man and a woman.  Problem?  He is 70, she is 25, and was sold to him for $20,000.  Another nice traditional marriage went sour when Caleb Grotberg tried to strangle his wife with his dreadlocks.   Which sadly segways into another beating, this time of a 9 month old baby boy beaten by a 21 year old man.  It took all of 10 days for 2013 to be dragged back down in the cesspit.  The Photo of the Day covers the Jahra tire fire.  Failed Labour politicians often stand for mayor, and Steve Chadwick stands for mayor in Rototua promising a “Brighter Future”, the National campaign slogan.  We pop in on Silvio Berlusconi who is starting to get upset at the amount of cock tax he is paying.  Student Loan thieves are on notice as the Government plans to track them down and deal to them using legal action or using debt collectors.  Next a post from Lynn Prentice at The Standard where he explains the move to overseas Cloud servers to manage costs.  Always good to hear from the World’s Best Sysop.  Cam dials up the cringe factor with another post about moobs:  men getting moob jobs.   Family First tries all the angles, but they always fail.  The argument that Same Sex Marriage will lead to Polygamy is destroyed as it hasn’t happened anywhere else in the world.  Another rush job at the NZ Herald as they say the same thing in two sentences.  Another quiet day for the Whangarei Fire Appliance.  Could Global Warming have saved the whales caught under a huge sheet of ice?  An ice breaker will need to come save them.

photoWe start our Thursday with an Andy Kroll piece showing the Vast Left Wing Conspiracy exists.  Too early for an eye watering post on Paul Wood who suffered a ruptured testicle playing in the English Super League Grand Final. so we quickly move on to Chris Finlayson who is an Arts Minister that hates pretentious art.  Perfect man for the job?  Our Cry Baby of the Day is David Farrar for hurting his heel and using social media to embarrass himself for being a… cry baby.   Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, Argentina’s president, is still saber rattling with the UK.  She does a speech from a sailing ship, and Cam asks how fast it can sail backwards.  Judith Collins is snapped reading this week’s Truth.  Chris Trotter is honest enough to call the Green, Labour, Grey Power and CTU driven Asset Sales petition intellectually dishonest.  Don’t root at work or at the sports club, especially with your own cousin – unless you’re from Tunisia.  We fail to get into the entitlement mindset of people who think they have a right to a state house for the rest of their life.  Turns out David Farrar isn’t the worst Cry Baby as we watch a “whiny bitch of the week” video.  The Photo of the Day covered water balloons and water balloon fights.  Having looked at Karaoke earlier in the week, we discover that Karaoke competitions on cruise ships are brutal.  Cam asks if it is time for Bail Reform as another criminal on bail goes on the run. A great story about WWII when Monopoly Games were used to send escape kits to WWII prisoners of war leads into a set of videos on how to build a quinzhee and an igloo. A follow up on the Christchurch employment problems story with a Coverstaff sign advertising more positions than the Kama Sutra.  Bruce Russell asks a question about Seven Sharp: is a dyke, a bore and a clown worth watching?  We visit Brian Rogers at SunLive who asks what David Cullen Bain‘s Stick Figure Family would look like.  Bill Maher mocked Donald Trump’s silly bet with Obama on Jay Leno’s show, challenging him to prove that Trump was not the “spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan.”  Australia is calling for a Royal Commission of Inquiry into child sex abuse, including those committed by the Catholic Church.  We close the day, and the week, with a look at a couple of idiots who stole and iPhone but didn’t disconnect it from the iCloud.  All their pictures are being uploaded for the Police to use.

 

 


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