A collection of Oscar Pistorius jokes

via the tipline

This Oscar Pistorius story is all a bit strange, isn’t it?  There must definitely be more to it.  He seemed so happy just the other day, he had such a spring in his step…

Yes, it was only minutes after Oscar Pistorius’s arrest that the jokes began … all taking the Pistorius.

His lawyer’s got a hard job ahead of him. Realistically, it looks like Pistorius hasn’t got a leg to stand on.

Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentine’s Day he had to take her out.

Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty due to temporary diminished responsibility.  He claims he was legless at the time of the incident.

Whatever happens in court, he still has a career. The IOC say he’s a front runner  at the next Olympics for pistol shooting.

Police reconstruction indicates that Pistorius lost it when, for his Valentine’s Day gift, his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks.

New Valentine’s Day card: “Roses are red, violets are glorious.  Never creep up On Oscar Pistorius.”

Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark.

Looks like he has an expensive lawyer. I hope he can foot the bill.

Otherwise, the Oscar goes to……………………Jail !!

New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend’s murder……………. Footprints!

She didn’t notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs. 

I see what Pistorius is doing. He is going to jail for 25 years and when he gets released… Bam! President of South Africa. That’s how it works over there, right?

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able-bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?

Surely Oscar Pistorius isn’t the first man to wake up legless during Valentine’s night, then shoot all over his partner whilst imagining she’s somebody else?

First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes ” Just  Don’t Do It.”

Hollywood are doing his life story; it’s now going to be called Blade Gunner.

If found guilty he’s gonna have to take it on the shin.

And finally,

Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic!


We’ve added some Oscar Pistorius Cartoons too.

Additional Sources/ Sickipedia


THANK YOU for being a subscriber. Because of you Whaleoil is going from strength to strength. It is a little known fact that Whaleoil subscribers are better in bed, good looking and highly intelligent. Sometimes all at once! Please Click Here Now to subscribe to an ad-free Whaleoil.

  • Paul


  • he wanted a new bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it

  • Sarrs

    This one’s a bit bad taste so it might be moderated out but here we go…
    Oscar Pistorius has confirmed that he will not being entering any other races. He is far more concerned about other races entering him, in prison.

    • Bunswalla

      That’s as bad as your choice of footy team, but since you raised the subject, I have a sports trivia question from the 1990s: What’s black, weighs 19 stone, and rode the English Derby winner?

      Lester Piggott’s cellmate.

      • Sarrs

        Ooooh that joke was despicable. I think I can top it.

        Apparently in prison Josef Friztl has become something of a wine buff. He advises laying something young in the cellar and letting it mature

        I’m going to hell…just choosing the escalator over the stairs

  • bobby

    … He thought she was a replicant and he was just doing his job.

  • Dr Stoat

    Its a meme now…

  • Rodger T

    Nike must be wondering who`s next,

  • Adrian T

    Reeva Steenkamp ; the only person ever to regret winning an Oscar

  • bogsdolox

    Need a poo?? Better be quick – Oscar just got bail.