Conspiracy Theories abound, nearly all feature dodgy Catholic ratbags

Barbie Latza Nadeau at The Daily Beast writes about all the conspiracy theories that are flying around about Pope Benedict resigning. One thing is in common with a few of them…they feature dodgy catholic ratbags:

While the Catholic Church sex-abuse scandal was obviously a huge weight on the pope’s shoulders, Vatican watchers say it was actually the VatiLeaks butler saga and allegations of impropriety at the Vatican Bank that played more important roles in his resignation. “Benedict may not have quit because of the pedophilia scandals or any other specific controversy,” says Vatican expert John Allen. “But it’s hard to believe they didn’t play a role, at least as background.”

Financial impropiety, and dirty filthy pedo priests…then there are the health scare rumours: 

There are also rampant rumors that the pope’s health is far worse than anyone realizes. Whispers of late-night helicopter trips to emergency rooms and hints that he is suffering some terminal illness like leukemia pushed forward by Italian gossip site Dagospia are unconfirmed, but still won’t go away. Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi begins each press briefing with a list of untruths he has read in the press, effectively spinning the stories back under Vatican control.

The pope has had a lot of health problems, to be sure, but, at least according to the official word, none of them are “relevant” to his resignation. Earlier this week Lombardi told reporters that the pope had a pacemaker installed last year, which had been changed about three months ago. This fueled even more rumors that the pope had a worsening heart condition, yet the Vatican said it hadn’t played any role in slowing him down.

Then on Thursday, Lombardi confirmed that the pope hit his head on a fall during his papal visit to Mexico last March. Again, this apparently had no bearing in his resignation, even though earlier Lombardi had hinted that the pope took the decision to resign after that papal trip. La Stampa, a newspaper, reported that while in Mexico, the pope hit his head on a bathroom sink hard enough to break the skin, and that his hair and pillow were stained with his blood. No one outside his inner circle had been made aware, because the cut could be hidden under his skullcap.

Then back to the dodgy ratbags…this time in cardinal’s robes:

Beyond the gossip about why the pope might have really resigned are growing conspiracies that there is a faction of cardinals who don’t think the pope should live inside Vatican City after he retires. Several unnamed cardinals have been quoted in the Italian press saying that it would have been better if he returned to Bavaria in Germany or lived out his days somewhere like Monte Cassino, a hilltop abbey south of Rome. Asked if the pope consulted a group of cardinals about where to live after he retires, Lombardi said that he didn’t have to. “The successor and cardinals will be very happy to have nearby a person who more than anyone understands the spiritual needs of the church and his successor.”

Why don;t they all just give up. The Catholic Church is finished.


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  • That man is a vision of evil. Look into the eyes.

  • I’m a Christian, but not a Roman Catholic. The Roman Catholic Church is alive and well yet has issues- and once it gets the rotten bits cut out will continue and grow. It has the basic Christian elements well locked in and unshakeable.

  • Whale- aren’t your attacks on Catholics similar to Richard Prosser’s attacks on Muslims?

    Doesn’t seem to attract the same criticism.

    Funny that.

    • eszett

      Yes, Whale, your call for young male catholics or those who look like catholics to be banned from flying is slightly over the top.

    • Rodger T

      If you don`t like what the Whale posts,start your own blog,Bedwetter.

      • I’d be surprised if all he wants is for people to fellate him all the time they way you do Rodger.