Feeding trolls can be fun, but which ones do you feed?


It is fair to say that there are a great many people out there who do not like me, or some of my friends. That’s ok…we don’t like you either.

At sometime in recent history there has entered a strange idea that just because we can all communicate online via Twitter and Facebook then we should all be friends..or at the very least nice to each other. It’s a bloody strange and alien idea to me.

Basically I go through life with indifference to most people, until they either annoy me or affect me negatively in some way. What happens next is that I escalate my response to a point at which they can not bear. Smart people then usually leave me alone…and I can continue on with my indifference. 

With the internet this is difficult…mainly because technology has given a great many unstable people access to a voice. These were the ones that usually sit at bus stops grumbling and muttering, or in darkened smelly houses surrounded by smell cats and their faeces…or single issue nutters. Now they have a voice and they rant and moan like people care…and they don;t realise that people like me don’t care for them, or what they have to say…it doesn’t stop them stopping by on my Facebook or Twitter feed or on the blog to have their say…some stay and become trolls, some just get slaughtered by the army and move along.

The point is…should trolls be fed? Personally I don’t mind them…others not so much..hater are gonna hate, but there are levels to haters:

A younger woman who works in media recently wrote to me, “How did you build up a thick skin? Something I’ve always struggled with is not taking things personally and getting upset when people say things that hurt me — in comments, on Twitter, etc.” I explained to her that I have a hierarchy of haters. High-order haters are those who really know how to hurt you; they may have real power or influence in your social or professional world. These are the folks you might consider responding to, or otherwise defending yourself against.

Low-level haters are usually people of little professional or social consequence to you. These are the folks who call you fat and ugly because they disagree with your views on, say, the federal debt. The lower a hater is on the pyramid, the more likely it is that the best response is to ignore him — while taking pride in the knowledge that, wherever the hater falls in this hierarchy, his or her very existence means you’re succeeding in having an impact.

One thing that trolls, haters or annoying pests need to know about me…I hold grudges…not in an unhealthy consume my entire life way, just that I have a little mental filing cabinet where I file away their details and then sometime later in life, usually when they have long forgotten their flick at me, then that is usually when I get them back…right in the throat. This is reserved for special kinds of wankers who cause me particular personal grief. There is no limit to which I will stop.

Usually though someone comes for me, I duke it out immediately. Beau Murrah found out what happens when you do that, to be fair to Beau, he sent me a lovely letter the other day. I have been debating whether or not to share it, I think I will, in another post. So did Pearl Going. Other slow learning cock-smokers are still yet to learn their lesson. Again…I escalate to the point at which they can no longer bear the pain…they mistake my retaliation for anger, or malice, or hate, they shouldn’t, I am just removing annoying people from my presence ..if it was my house I would punch them in the head, if it was a noisy pub I would step them outside…as it is the blog, or Facebook or Twitter, well rapid retaliation with overwhelming force is the only effective technique. It is simple, if they want it to stop then stop annoying me and go away.

Basically though I enjoy debate, and argument, it is when it gets nasty and personal and doesn’t add to the debate that my troll killing instinct kicks in.

So readers…feed the trolls or shoot the trolls.


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  • As a public service, here is a quick refresher

    Beau Murrah: http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/tag/beau-murrah/

    Pearl Going: http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/tag/pearl-going/

  • I have to confess an unhealthy fascination with Pearl Going. She really is a one woman self-marketing machine. Imagine all that energy directed in some constructive way. I’d love to get into her mind. (No, MIND, you filthy dogs)

    Since we met her last, she now IS a professional high Alpine mountain climber.

    • blazer

      had never heard of her…..amazing fantasist…must be a product of’ fame’ at any cost!

    • 4077th

      Nice website..crap music (if you can call it that), She is no more a professional mountain climber than I am a professional astronaut. She IS a professional con artist. I’ve known others like her one who ripped me off to the tune of $75k and another who seems to have dropped off the radar (Mr Mattitude).

  • You feed trolls as long as they are not spam trolls who post dribbly inconsequential shite and do not know when to move on. They don’t understand political debate and generally lack syntax. This is the biggest crime.
    My one creed that I live by is: ” If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t be a cunt.” A lot of people would agree with the sentiment but tend to confuse a difference in opinion with mistakenly believing that you’re the cunt. This tends to raise the orcish ire in them and before you know it you’re dealing with an army of trolls. No matter. Another basic creed I live by is, “Sticks and stones will break my bones but if you come any closer I’ll break your face”.

    • Which I won’t because I’m a sook but you can find your voice if you bear this in mind.

    • unsol

      I’m a day late, but have to say a fantastic post on so many levels. WO – I like your style although I am personally a fan of going for the jugular earlier as my pride precludes my ability to allow the views of such idiots to continue to get oxygen. I also have no time for people of poor character so tend to remove them quickly from all forms of my life.

      And Monique re “A lot of people would agree with the sentiment but tend to confuse a difference in opinion with mistakenly believing that you’re the cunt”

      So very true. The same people also confuse honesty and being a c bomb.

      But such people are never worth your time as they are too shallow & emotionally immature to ever grasp such differences.

  • An interesting and thought provoking entry. I sometimes don’t know whether to like you or hate you Cam. I’m sure you don’t care and probably that is as it should be. You talk about people who “cause you personal grief” deserving a special kind of retaliation, and yet you cause personal grief to many in your posts, often personal swats against people you would otherwise never have heard of if not reported by some other form of media. You have a very powerful weapon which you seem often not afraid to use. But it is true that trolls are most often ‘biggots’ of a cause they earnestly believe in. So in some way we all have the capacity to be trolls as we all have causes we earnestly believe in. Just some are more unwise in their choice of forum to interact, while others get off on trying to be nasty. The latter deserve all they get returned to them. I enjoy your posts – mostly.

  • Pete George

    It depends, there are very different types of trolls, and you encounter them in different environments. And each to their own method of dealing with them.

    One method is to confront them with reason, prod them them to say some more and they often then defeat themselves with their own words.

    My main method is to patiently outlast them. The nasty ones hate it when you don’t melt down in reaction, because that’s what they want. While the internet gives nutters and political bitches a vast platform to attack standing up to them and waiting can defeat them, what goes round comes round as karma.

    One of the most persistently harassing resident trolls at The Standard was Te Reo Putake (aka Voice of Reason). His attack methods turned sour when he got offside with other long time blog residents in the recent civil war. He changed from a protected attack dog to one in a pack of bitchers. And he pissed most of them off. They had aided and abetted his trolling when targeting common ‘enemies’, but didn’t like it when it was red on red.

    I haven’t commented there for six months but I must still bug him. He posted on Tuesday: “The first comment is on similar lines to yours, though pithier. The rest of the comments? Well .. dunno who this Pete George fella is, but nobody seems to like him.”

    That linked to a Kiwiblog thread where karma defied him. And more pointedly, no one on his home turf jumped on his bashwagon this time. That chicken has come home to roost.

  • peterwn

    Is BABYMASH still around? He would have been the most prominent all caps poster and snarker – but I do not think he was a troll.

  • GregM

    The only one that ever really pissed me off was the failed lying green candidate from Hamiltron, and now I can’t even remember his name.
    Feeding the trolls followed by a good kicking is always a good thing.

    • WayneO

      You mean Mr. Coyle?

  • cows4me

    Is philU still kicking or has Paula caught up with him? There weren’t many that he couldn’t piss off.

    • Gazzaw

      Le Sphincter aka and more accurately l’arsehole made a brief appearance here last night. Don’t know what brought that on after his lengthy absence. Maybe he wanted some intelligent posters to rise to his socialist BS. He didn’t have much luck though.

  • Whafe

    For me Cam, a very good interesting thread…
    I was always bought up to not let personalities involved, I try hard to live by that, at times it is dam difficult indeed…
    Agree with Gazzaw, Le Poo Hole used to really get at me, he made a little appearance last night, then obviously climbed back into his hole…
    I feel that a good many so called Trolls would struggle to actually have a coffee and an adult conversation in person, the intranet allows these so called tough folk to come out…

  • J.M

    Interesting post. Fair to say Cam ain’t a very likeable guy to be honest, but that’s neither here nor there. Given his style he is always going to have detractors. I possibly agree with about 50% of what he posts, but the confrontational nature of his opinions is what has hooked me into this site.
    No bullshit, no guessing where he stands.

    • I would hate a blog where every single person agreed 100 % with me…50 is good…but imagine how boring it would be if everyone agreed…yuck

  • Hazards001

    To be honest I just don’t give a rats nonnoe. I comment on here because I seem to have found a mindset amongst others that contribute here that are pretty close to mine in general, including Cam’s. We don’t agree on everything but then again I don’t have an opinion on everything either.

    Bit like at the pub, you have a clique and tend to stay in it, many come and go but the core group tends to survive even if the original members of the group return and no longer recognise a single face they still tend to recognise the group.

    And of course just like the pub or at home with your peers and family you tend to attack people that you perceive are attacking members of your group…geeze…now that I think about it posting on blog’s is tribal..lol!