If this is the most traumatic thing to ever happen to them then they need to get a life

Some people really do lead sheltered lives:

Jessie Rose Foote is in a committed relationship with her partner, Sarah Morris. They had a civil union three years ago and have three children aged 6, 10 and 11. The Whangarei artist and clothing designer is currently preparing for an exhibition in Wellington called Saints and Sinners.

Foote said she was going about her life without too much trouble or fuss from society.

But her conservative Christian parents, David and Penelope Foote, firmly believe homosexuality is “evil” and “repugnant” and they said so in a strongly worded submission opposing gay marriage last month.

Penelope Foote told a parliamentary select committee that finding out her daughter was in a same-sex relationship was “the most traumatic thing we have ever been through”. She blamed her daughter’s homosexuality on “abuse she has suffered [from men]”. 

Jessie Foote, 33, told the Herald on Sunday it was a “very unfortunate” comment to make in public and she was unhappy that had been suggested as the reason for her being gay.

“I have never set out to hurt my parents, but you get to a point where you need to be true to yourself and to others. It’s just really sad for everyone involved that I am the one thing my family cannot and will not accept.”

Despite it all she said she still loved her parents very much.

The most traumatic thing they have ever been through? So never been made redundant? No car crashes? No cancer, or other serious illness? Just the fact that their daughter is gay…how pathetic, how hateful to say that about your daughter.

Good on Jessie for rising above such small minded parents and showing a level of decorum her parents clearly lack. Where is the problem…she is in a committed relationship and raising a family..if they want to miss out on their grandkids growing up them that is their call.

There is a song for nasty people like them:


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  • thor42

    Agreed, WO.

    ( Mmmmm…. Lily Allen – wouldn’t mind running one up her…… ;) )

  • Andrei

    Hey ho just the Herald’s usual journalism activism.

    T’would be good to see the submission of course – rather than cherry picked words and phrases.

    But of course this Alinskite bullying and demonisation would never allow for that.

    Like everything else in this “debate” the only way the left can get this nonsense through is by lies, distortions and evasions.

    • Gayguy

      Aren’t all submissions public?

      Should not be too hard to get the whole transcript.

      The only lies being told are by those so filled with hate they would abandon their own children.

      • pukakidon

        Gayguy this is typical of the Gay supremacists. Most people see equality for everyone is right. What they dislike is your constant hate speech directed towards anyone that doesn’t agree with you. Your a fascist..

        • Gayguy

          And you are an idiot.

          I do not spout hate speech, because I do not seek to deny anyone any rights. They do. Not that I expect you to understand the difference.

          • pukakidon

            That sounds fascist to me!! Anyone who disagrees with you is an idiot.

          • Gayguy

            Good lord. You say some dumb things.

    • eszett

      You can view them here in their full glory, Andrei.



      Marriage is the most precious institution that we have. It has not been instituted by the State or even by society, but is given to us as a gift, like life is, from God our Creator.

      This would be the most evil piece of legislation ever contemplated in the history of this country. Indeed it would be hard to imagine a more evil or a more destructive course than the one being proposed in this bill.

      It goes on in the same vein, selfrightous religious bullshit, so it will be right up your alley.

      No need to lie, distort or evade anything here.

      • Andrei

        Don’t say anything about

        “the most traumatic thing we have ever been through”. She blamed her daughter’s homosexuality on “abuse she has suffered [from men]“.

        Actually what they say is correct but expressed in a fundamentalist protestant syntax, which is not that smart given that the people behind this will inevitably go into mocking mode upon encountering this manner of expression.

        Anyone who is spiritually aware kmows that this is a rebellion against God, it is actually a blasphemy which is what makes it so attractive to some people

        • Gayguy

          Oh good lord, the nonsense.

          • Andrei

            You show why taking this argument into the spiritual sphere is not the best place to fight it.

            You snort

            But never the less you foolish fellow you cannot present a reasoned argument as to why we need this radical re-definition of marrriage.

            And the reason why you can’t is because there is no rational reason for doing this beyond some vague handwaving appeals to “equality” despite the biological fact that “equality” cannot be acheived.

            Marriage is not an arbitary social construct to be redefined at will, it goes to the very heart of how people reproduce themselves and transmit their culture.

            And mesing around with it is cultural suicide – but being a self centered, self absorbed, self indulgent parasite you don’t give a damn because you have no stake in the future, unlike people such as myself who have not invested our adult lives in sexual hedonism but in raising children, who will bare the cost of your vanity.

          • Gayguy

            A fully reasonable argument is there is no reason why we should no all have the same rights. None at all.

            That is the reason right there.

          • Andrei

            Logic is not your strong suit is it

            You have exactly the same “rights” as my son, no more no less. Find a woman who will agree to marry you and nobody will stop you – and that is just the same for my son.

            On the other hand I cannot marry, being married already, no matter hw willing my potential new wife – so my rights are less than yours.

            But I’m not seeking a law change to gain a new right for my self but you can be sure, despite the scoffing that results when people suggest that the law change you desire will lead to others asking for another law change that would allow me a second, third or even fourth wife that someone will seek this, and presumably in the fullness of time get it.

          • Gayguy

            You have the right to marry the person you love. I do not.

            Please do not use the bullshit argument we can all marry as long as it is someone of the opposite sex.

            You are a bigoted fool.

          • eszett

            Except it’s not a ” radical re-definition of marrriage.”

            How will allowing gays to marry “redefine” your marriage? How wil all the heterosexual marriages formed after the law is passed be different to your marriage?

            Including homosexuals is a minor change, catching up with the reality.

            And you are allowed to be stuck in the past if you wish. No one is taking that away from you.

        • eszett

          possibly from the oral submission, which is not online. It is a direct quote, after all.

          Blasphemy, a victimless “crime”.

  • LesleyNZ

    Another gay and happy story trying to convince us that this is “normal”? If they want to live like that – up to them – they are resonsible for the direction of their lives here on earth. And who are the fathers? Good on the parents for standing up for they believe in – and be prepared to be ridiculed. Why should they compromise what they believe just because their daughter has decided to go in the opposite direction to their belief and because the liberal-minded think they are wrong. Lily Allen is a foul-mouthed singer.

    • Gayguy

      So you would be willing to cast one of your kids adrift, publicly denounce them, never see your grandchildren etc… if they were gay?

      • LesleyNZ

        My kids know what I believe and think. They know that I love them unconditionally. It says the grandaughter visits the grandparents. Choosing the theme Saints and Sinners for a clothing exhibition is interesting though. Sarah was brought up in the parents’ home – she knows what they believe. It is odd though that both parents and daughter gave submissions and then there is a follow up of a gay and happy story in today’s Herald. And then another gay and happy/bisexual story pops up in today’s Sunday Star Times. Ali Mau got the job because of her bisexual-ness? That is definitely pathetic! http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv/8241865/Up-close-and-personal-with-Ali-Mau
        “So, Ali Mau. You’ve proved that becoming New Zealand’s best-known mid-life bisexual isn’t exactly career-limiting. Has it, in fact, been career-advancing? “My relationship? Oh yes! Karleen credits herself with being the making of me.” She emits a curious, squeaky “ha ha” – half ironic laugh, half despairing croak. “Please write that I said that with a smile.”The truth is that Alison Jane Mau – journalist, newsreader, telly blonde, former member of New Zealand’s leading hetero TV power-couple – seems to have a pretty developed sense of humour about the events of recent years: the end of a marriage; the romance with a woman 10 years her junior; the doomed attempts to fend off the media’s fascination with that romance; the eventual emergence as celebrity flag-bearer for gay marriage and societal tolerance.

        • Gayguy

          Nice diatribe.

          So would you give your grand kids the flick?

          • Hey…leave Lesley alone…she is a nice lady, ever so polite…but she does have her views and she is entitled to them and does not use abuse or derogatory terms so please make sure you respond in kind, rather than the usual sarc…ok?

          • Gayguy

            I was asking a quiet valid question. The fact that you like her should not impeed valid questions, given her view points, being asked.

          • TANSTAAFL

            WO, if you check you will see that gg’s not the one who was being abusive in this discussion

          • Hazards001

            Fuck off arsehole, she answered you and answered you very politely, she said she loved her grandkids unconditionally, me however I’ll tell you what I really think you wearing your heart on your sleeve fuckwit…remember..it’s not cos you’re gay I can’t stand you…it’s because you think being gay makes you special!

          • Gayguy

            Actually she rambled on. And, no I will not fuck off just because you do not like my question.

          • LesleyNZ

            Am rather tired of all these happy and gay stories rambling on and being bombarded at us via the media, at every opportunity.

          • Gayguy

            Do not read them.

            Problem solved.

            Too many people bitch and moan about having to read or watch things these days – wake up nutters, simply change the channel or turn the page. Easy.

          • TANSTAAFL

            Oops, missed your post and repeated what you said!

          • TANSTAAFL

            You’re just like the late Patricia Bartlett who read porn so she could be shocked by it. Grow up, learn to censor your reading and skip the bits that might offend you .
            The whole Bain issue bores me. I don’t read the posts. See how simple it is?

          • LesleyNZ

            LOL. What a stupid comment.

          • Hazards001

            What exactly will you fuck off for you whining little bitch?

          • Gayguy


          • LesleyNZ

            It seems anyone who doesn’t think like you “rambles”. For your information I would die for my kids and my gorgeous grandchild. However they will be no doubt as to what my opinion is on gay marriage etc. That does not mean that you do not love them. I understand the parents’ submission as it is from a conservative Christian view. I can understand why you do not like what they have said because you do not believe what they have said is relevant for today. After reading the parents’ submissions on gay marriage and rereading the NZ Herald story I have to wonder why the NZ Herald did such a story. Was this story fair on the 3 children – especially the Foote’s grand-daughter ? I don’t think the mother should have got so personal in her submission. Did Penelope Foote actually call her daughter evil?

          • Gayguy

            It is good to see that you are not as bigoted as these people are. If you had not have rambled to begin with we could have avoided the idiot Hazard’s blatherings..

      • I wouldn’t…I love my kids no matter what.

        • StupidDisqus

          What if they turned socialist…

          • Never going to happen LOL they might fall in love with one though. Never mind, as long as there is one capitalist bringing home the bacon in the relationship they won’t starve.

          • fozzie2

            Never ever say never …….

        • Same here. It is called unconditional love for a reason. I may not agree with all of their choices in life but I will always love them and would never reject them like these parents have. Jesus would not treat their daughter in the terrible way they have so how on earth they think that it is ok for them to reject her like this is beyond me. The daughter shows her compassion by allowing her parents to see her children despite their vile treatment of her. She is a better person than I as I would not want to subject my children to the views of the Grandparents which would be to tell them that their Mother is evil. In fact I think the mother is misguided to allow her parents to see her children. There are consequences to actions. Cutting off your daughter and calling her evil should equal no grandchildren in my opinion. Not as a punishment but just a consequence of rejecting their child.

          • fozzie2

            Chill out – Jesse is teaching us a very important lesson here – the one I always teach my kids – “I may not like what you do , but I will always love you – she is doing it in the reverse – these grand kids need the love of thier grandparents too –

        • Gayguy

          That is nice, and obvious. But I wasn’t asking you.

    • It’s three adults here. Grandma and Grand pop are sticking their beaks in where it’s not wanted.

      • LesleyNZ

        And the children? What about them?

        • Gayguy

          Because of their grandparents hate, they will not have the same relationship with them they could have.

          Shame on the grandparents for heaping this on their grandkids.

  • Patrick

    So it’s all the fault of men aye? Not genetics?

  • The parents are tits. Once you’re 18 and you leave home you’re an adult and are on the same footing as your parents. The parents have forgotten that they have as much influence on their daughter’s life as any other randoms. Less if they’re going to be evil judgmental wankers.

  • Middleagedwhiteguy

    There are a number of issues to be discussed here. Particularly in the issue of Nature vs Nurture debate and how it relates to the feelings and beliefs of the parents.

    If we are to assume that this is natural, and that the gay person is ‘born this way’, and that all humans are created by God (if that is what you believe), the God made homosexuals, which challenges their faith and values as the parents see them.

    If we assume the latter, then the upbringing of the parents must have been a contributing issue, which challenges the faith and values of the parents.

    As it stands, one or the other must be correct. Sadly, regardless of which side of the nature vs nurture debate you side with, the one thing that is denying these parents the decent relationship between themselves and their daughter, would appear to be their fundamentalist christian beliefs.

    • Andrei

      Alas your logic is not impeccable but coloured by your own prejudice and beliefs.

      Throughout history, of course, children and parents have become alienated from one another when the child has rebelled against their parents, it is part of mankinds fallen state that this occurs.

      And your view of it in any particular circumstance would depend upon whether your values align more with the parent’s or the child’s.

      A common enough cause of this is a child taking up with a romantic partner disapproved of by the parents and you might see their point if the child in question, say, had formed a liason with someone from a strange religious cult or a pimp who was hiring his “love” out and having her turn tricks

  • When is the Third and Final Reading of the Bill so it can go before Royal Ascent and the rest of us can go on our lives – or refocus having a whinge about the government’s economic policy (one way or the other)…

    We (the modern human) have been around at least 18,000 years and have a little bit more left in us to go before we leave.

    (and before some fundy opens their trap with their 6,000 year stuff – it is duly noted. I respect your faith and belief in it – respect mine in my belief. I’ll find the answer out soon enough from He himself in time)

    • Hazards001

      We’ve been around in our current form for over 100,000 yrs…but I take your point.(homosapien…errrr not homosexual…that’s kinda new)

  • grumpy

    Easy…just disinherit her.

  • Hazards001

    I was going to reply to Lesley but no matter how I worded my reply it could have been misunderstood by her if she hadn’t followed the context of my other replies…and I see no reason to believe she would bother….therefore ..taken from Lesley’s reply to gayguy…

    ” I don’t think the mother should have got so personal in her submission. Did Penelope Foote actually call her daughter evil?”

    If she did she’s a sad lady Lesley…good on her for having her beliefs and standing up for them…but to call her own daughter evil? How can being in love be evil? I agree with your sentiments…sad for the Grandmother I suspect as time goes by.

  • Blair Mulholland

    Ugh, yes, the parents need to get a little perspective. I think I’d be disappointed if one of my daughters decided to pursue other women, but it wouldn’t be the end of the freaking world. Better that than, say, pregnant outside of a stable relationship. Or registering as a Democrat. Or joining the Labour Party. I’d be distraught if that happened!